trying affirmations

[Yoremo]

So I´m going to try affirmations for real. I´ve tried them in the past but I have half-assed it and so I remained pretty much the same. I do remember though that I listened to affirmations throughout the day, and this was very valuable to me because it reinforced the habit of talking to myself in an empowering way, there´s no way I can just start to use good self talk on my own, it´s too hard so I will begin with listening to affirmations throughout the day when I´m doing stuff that I can listen to affirmations (studying, walking, reading etc.).

My thought is that I will start with that and then start doing affirmations on my own, and starting small like 2 minutes and then increase from there. I feel that affirmations are the next thing for me, and it ties together with visualization which I will probably get even more aware of down the road. Because as it is right now if I try to visualize my success etc. I can´t help but automatically visualize the worst things imaginable (more or less) and I think that this will help because I have felt small parts of it myself.

I will try and use affirmations for all areas of my life to ensure balance, I think that will happen quite naturally.

I believe from the little experience I have had so far from affirmations that they are a very natural way of speaking to yourself, to create. It´s like if you were to do a pb in the gym, you would say "I can do it", "this is fucking easy" and feel the strength inside of you and visualize the weight going up. It´s the process of creating something which isn´t (that´s what creating is). These are just my thought, my thesis if you want and now I will try it out for my own gain hopefully. 

During these first weeks I will research affirmations a bit more, I have two books on it and I look on the internet for advice and stuff, but I think it´s rather easy but from my experience I usually stick to something that I have consciously researched with the intent of using that information.

Almost all of what I said is still very theoretical so I´ll be able to comprehend this for sure when this is over. I have seen that most people have seen good results from 3 months of affirmations so I will commit to 3 months (90 days) of affirmations, and if it works out I will continue. This journal will be my first journal of a improvement technique and maybe it will help me in more ways than just with the affirmations. I will set an alarm that will go off everyday so that I get reminded of writing down what I did everyday (so that I can hold myself accountable which I´m not the best at right now but from now on that will be an "I am responsible" haha)

 

So it will go like this:

*stating the day

*What did I do today and for how long?

*how do you feel? I want to see if I automatically get more positive and empowering self talk day to day also so write that down if you notice that (this is my thesis)

*any other thoughts around this

Easy as that, I just want to make this journal to start this habit. But I´ll of course build other habits other than this one but I´ll focus on this one for a couple of weeks so that I don´t get all sad and all that I have been in the past when I´ve tried to do too much.

Edited December 19, 2021 by Yoremo

[Yoremo]

day 1:

Today I did like 4-6 hours of listening to affirmations, honestly don´t know but it will be easier for me to know when I´ve built this habit and kind of figured out what affirmations I want to listen to. 

I can already feel that I can do my actions without being insecure (I´ve listened to affirmations for a couple of days but this is my oficial day one), and I´ve felt a bit more calm in some situations. I feel more self-assured. One thing I can´t stand is my parents, they frustrate and irritate me like no other and I want to have more friends, I feel this inside of me and I think that I will try and manifest this as best as I can, because I´m conditioned to not like hanging around people from my childhood so this is a hard thing for me (I wouldn´t say I´m introverted, it´s just that throughout my whole childhood I basically never met people because my family was/is not like other families, but I think that this is reversable).

I believe that I can say things like I did before without harming me, some people doing affirmations think that they should pretend everything is fine when it´s not. The thing is to acknowledge things and then see a better perspective and/or just express something positive about something else to increase your emotional quality which is very important for productivity and bla bla, really it´s just that I want to be happy. I´m becoming aware that I can be happy NOW, no fucking requirements or things that I have to wait for, I can feel the way I want (happy and wellbeing) at the same time as I´m wanting something else, I´m just not dependent on that thing to come into my reality and experience for me to feel happiness. Have a good day!

EDIT: When I was trying to sleep I had pretty bad visual imagery like usuall, I´ll write a bit about that aswell and see if that will go away, because as of now I can have trouble sleeping because I´m visualizing disturbing images unwillingly at the moment

Edited December 20, 2021 by Yoremo

[Yoremo]

Just a note:

I will not fuck around on this journal and write about improvements that hasn´t happened because "eyy, I´m doing affirmations so I can´t be honest about how I feel", no I can express my feelings even though they are not always positive because this is just an observation and not something I´m doing throughout the day, throughout the day I´m doing thousands of positive affirmations and acknowledging where I´m at is fine, because I´m not very dependent on it, if it works it works.

This is just a clarification for myself, because I´ve seen people talk about their improvement that affirmations have made to them in affirmation form, and you realize they are just saying the affirmation thinking that it will help saying the affirmation to others which is just straight up lying, I don´t want to be self delusional about this. This is a bit hard to express but I atleast know what I mean

[higherself418]

Great insightful journey! I try to improve my positive thinking with affirmations too, right now it's going great!

[Yoremo]

Day 2:

forgot to write yesterday but I will now

I listened to affirmations for 5 hours

I have been listening to confidence affirmations and yes, I can already feel that I feel more self assured and that I´m not as afraid of speaking up, a slight change in emotions regarding that. I had pretty bad own self talk yesterday because my training feels like it´s not paying off, but I´ll try and catch myself doing that and just counter it. I could sleep REALLY well yesterday, but that was probably because I was really tired, no negative thought while trying to fall asleep that I can remember.

I feel that I have some resistance to keep listening to affirmations, and that´s probably what made me stop in the past, because I feel weird doing it and it feels like I need relief from it and that I need to stop. But that won´t happen this time, I´ll just do this steady and consisten and probably incorporate my own self talk little by little by next week when I have a bit more momentum. It´s so cool that something that feels so trivial such as affirmations can so fundamentally change how you feel and see the world, it´s the momentum and total of the kind of thoughts that make you (maybe?). Feeling pretty good nonetheless

[Yoremo]

@higherself418Nice! I´m not yet convinced by affirmations because I haven´t experienced it enough but that´s why I´m doing this journal to stay consistent. Good luck!

[Yoremo]

@higherself418Btw how are you doing your affirmations?

[Yoremo]

Day 3

I listened to affirmations for like 2 hours

I feel a lot more confident, I feel a lot more inclined to talk to people. For some context: I´m really insecure right now, haven´t always been that way but I am more insecure than ever but I feel already a bit better with these affirmations. But I have a lot of generic negative self talk, I usually think about every situation that happens to me in a very negative way, my predisposition is to think of how a situation is limiting me and just complain about it-- because it´s hard to begin the momentum of having a good mentality and accept whatever is happening and move on from there. I´m going to try more generic positive affirmations so that I can tackle setbacks better and more constructive. Fell asleep pretty good today aswell, but I was very tired so that might have been it

I don´t feel as much resistance to affirmations now, feeling a bit better about it.

[Yoremo]

day 4

I listened to affirmations for around 2 hours today aswell

I feel better about talking to people and I act upon the "urge" to say something, while also not saying stupid shit. I´m feeling pretty good. I did have some bad visuals when I was going to sleep but only once from what I remember. Next week I´ll start and reciting affirmations on my own. But I´m feeling good overall-

I feel as though affirmations is the natural way to align your mind with what your ideal you is, and the you is thoughts, feelings and emotions (which lead to the actions) and those are all more or less controlled by what you consistently say, and I think that affirmations have a big role in this, not the only but it´s a big part. But I will of course try other things out when I feel that affirmations are a part of me.

[Yoremo]

day 5

I listened like 2 hours

Nothing new really, feeling the same as the last few days.

[Yoremo]

Day 6 &7

0 of anything.

I basically just hung out with my family all day these two days and I didn´t have much chances of doing affirmations, but that is also because I´m not so into it yet.

So that´s a bit of a failure, but that´s okay and I don´t need to justify it in any way now, I´ll just move on

[Yoremo]

day 8

I listened to affirmations for 40 minutes

didn´t feel anything in particular

I will try and plan this out a bit better in the future. I have been slacking of from everything though so that´s why it doesn´t do very well. I need to get back on track

[Yoremo]

day 9

1 hour listening to affirmations

I will just keep doing atleast something everyday now during the holidays. I have my whole family at home and it is very hard to get anything done. But it´s getting better now, but when I get back to school it will be easier. Will try and do more though

On doing affirmations myself, I will probably keep listening only for a while more. Because this makes me triggered whenever I tell myself something that´s disempowering and then I can incorporate affirmations more naturally into my life

[Yoremo]

Day 10

2-3 hours of listening to affirmations

feeling good. It´s not like I feel any different with my confidence, especially because I´m only meeting my family and I don´t have any confidence problems with them.

I´m feeling that this journal is kind of lame. I´m not doing enough. I have so much shit going on that just doing one thing doesn´t seem enough. I´m so lost, because I´ve tried too hard too fast in the past and failed, but maybe there´s no limit to how fast I can change? I want everything to change at an instant, not my results but my trajectory in life. I´m probably going to try and make something happen during the holidays, trying to figure out how to initiate a real life change. Somehow it´s so hard for me to change my life and my habits and all of this, I feel stuck in a rut that has been going on for my entire life, and I´m sick of it but I have also tried a lot of times and failed so I´m a bit confused on how to do this now. I feel like a loser man. Well, I´m sure I´ll figure something out during the holidays, I need to have a plan and some emotional leverage but I don´t know how all of this shit works man. It´s too much man. I just feel like crying all the time right now and I hate it. And I´m so overwhelmed by the internet aswell as I feel that I need the internet to get out of my situation, because I can get help on the internet but maybe that´s just in my mind.

I would really like to get off the internet completely but I feel that I´m missing out. Maybe I can gather information and advice and stuff during the holidays and stack it up for like 3 months worth and take a break from the internet and try to gain some mental clarity because I think the internet is making my mental fog to some extent.

[Yoremo]

I am ending this diary here, because I can´t have a diary for each and every one habit and thing-- so I will take advantage over the benefits of journaling in my other journal, and affirmations will start more seriously when I start school because that routine will make it a lot easier to hold up that routine.