Jobs : The Classic Tension Between Survival and Meaningfulness

[Matt23]

Am using this as a way to journal and process.  Feel free to comment or not.  Appreciated.

Well, I accepted a full-time job at FedEx after getting fired from one of my part-time jobs.  I'm going to give my two-weeks' notice to my other part-time job at a restaurant as well.  

I feel, hmm... a little down or negative.  Like heavy chested.  Maybe as if I'm not upholding some deep value of mine, or some purpose or commitment to something.  Perhaps it's community and developing relationships with others (things which the restaurant job definitely beat FedEx out on).  FedEx certainly isn't optimized for that.  But, I felt pressure to get a new job from a financial and basic survival perspective.  It does pay a lot better, and I'll be able to save money much easier.  After three months they even give dental and health plans and a $1000 signing bonus.  It seems like there is also more Freedom involved in this job which I definitely enjoy.  

Either way, I suppose I can always change again if it doesn't fit the bill.  

I would like some work that enables me to feel aligned with my top values and is relatively stress-free while I work on my life purpose and career.  At least to a degree that I feel is sustainable long-term.  But hey, maybe there aren't entry-level jobs that are sustainable long-term.  Or maybe that's not what I really want.  I dunno.  

I just hope I don't accept this job, do it, find out it's really not for me and that the social work environment is toxic for me, and end up leaving it in a few months to yet again find another job.  

Maybe I feel a bit stressed and tired of changing jobs so much and desire something long-term.  Ya, something long-term and sustainable financially which also doesn't make me feel like I'm dishonoring my top values and what is most meaningful to me.  

That may be a tall order.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I don't know.  But it seems that it's something I've found difficult to get and sustain.  

Looking back on my living and work history, I seem to have jumped around quite a bit.  From job to job, city to city.  I think I'm starting to crave and see the benefits in settling down somewhere so I can develop a comfortable foundation (financially, socially, habits, etc.) from which building more aspirational and meaningful things is easier to do.  

Lesson: 

• It's difficult to build amongst chaos without an at least somewhat comfortable living situation.  And I mean "build" in perhaps the broadest sense.  Whether that's physical things like a garden, or more psychological things like relationships or even a new and improved self (habits being, as I see it, a foundational aspect of creating a new self: new habits, new self).  
• It's difficult to choose wisely, to choose what's most meaningful, when feeling pressure and fear.  Therefore, perhaps making more long-term plans and goals and thinking ahead is wise.  So that, when push comes to shove and a choice needs to be made stat, you're ready and know exactly what to do without hesitation or doubt (if this is 100% possible I'm not sure).  It's almost like, if you're not building and choosing consciously ahead of time, then life will throw things at you and you'll have to fly by the seat of your pants:  You can choose how many balls you want to juggle beforehand, making you more prepared and confident in juggling.  Or you can wait till the time comes to juggle and let others throw any number of balls at you not knowing how many are coming your way. 

How will I do, behave, differently in the future?  What are some things I can change behaviorally?:  Good question... let me noodle on that a bit. 

Edited December 17, 2021 by Matt23

[Yarco]

Maslow's hierarchy of needs - You have to take care of money and the basic stuff before you can move on to more noble things. It doesn't have to be forever.

[vizual]

In my experience, the dream job that will provide meaning, pleasure and satisfaction in your life doesn't exist. You have to find the meaning in your life in general, in your soul. A FedEx job can be great for a while. You can learn about the logistics and politics that goes on in such an environment. You can learn to deal with new people, acquire new skills. But never put any hope in a job to fulfill you because you will be only disappointed. And it's also not a good idea to grow comfortable at a job so that you become part of the interior. You will start to feel stuck, which will seep into other areas of your life. Stay on your toes, learn to dance in the fire.

Yes, the system is set up for people to get a job and rest on their laurels, just working mindlessly. The system is made for sheep. And it's fine to work within that system, we all have to. But you should not engage with the system of sheep with a sheepish mentality, because then you will be just exploited. You have to keep the ball in your own court, or else the system will eat you alive.