All My Life Goals Are Based On Self-esteem Issues Around Problems With The Opposite Sex - How To Fix It?

[ClearThought]

I have identified that all my life goals stem from lack of approval from the opposite sex. Or my perceived lack of self worth.

I want to be rich not because of me, but so women would love me more.

I want to be attractive not because of me, but so women would love me more.

I want to be social for the same reason.

I have improved a lot in all aspects, but for the wrong reasons.

How do I fix this once I have identified my issues?

I was maintaining a relationship where I did not feel true love for 5 years until I decided to break it off once I started treating my long term depression. I did it out of neediness for her love and approval, not out of true lust that I should have felt.

How do I reach for my goals for ME and not for women?

I don't want to depend on approval of women anymore!

[SFRL]

2 hours ago, ClearThought said:

I have identified that all my life goals stem from lack of approval from the opposite sex. Or my perceived lack of self worth.

I want to be rich not because of me, but so women would love me more.

I want to be attractive not because of me, but so women would love me more.

I want to be social for the same reason.

I have improved a lot in all aspects, but for the wrong reasons.

How do I fix this once I have identified my issues?

I was maintaining a relationship where I did not feel true love for 5 years until I decided to break it off once I started treating my long term depression. I did it out of neediness for her love and approval, not out of true lust that I should have felt.

How do I reach for my goals for ME and not for women?

I don't want to depend on approval of women anymore!

So what do you like to do besides chasing women? 

Stop chasing women for a while and try out a wide range of different activities that you think would be cool. 

Get your kicks out of life outside of chasing girls. 

This sounds like an addiction.

Edited January 1, 2017 by STC

[ClearThought]

I don't actually have time to physically chase women so much, I just try to build up my life so I have higher worth BECAUSE I know that will make me more attractive to women.

How do I do these things for ME and not for women?

[SFRL]

@ClearThought everything you make your goals is part of typical stage orange thinking and behaviour as per the Graves model. Including women. 

What served you in the past to get further in life doesn't serve you now anymore. Maybe it's time to evolve. 

Edited January 2, 2017 by STC