First date soon. Advice Needed.

[Raptorsin7]

14 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Pure presence is something most people will never taste until after they’re dead. The ego is sneaky enough to send you impulses making you believe they’re pure and good. You take someone inexperienced with spirituality and tell them to be themselves, not only will they have no reference point for anything other than their current state of being, but also be very likely to act on impure animalistic impulses that they believed was acting spontaneously. This can be disastrous. For example, you might feel the sudden urge to burst out erratically dancing in a situation where it’s highly inappropriate to do so. Like maybe you’re in church and they say a verse that resonates with you so well it makes you want to bust a move.

 

It really is that simple. No one said it will turn out perfectly or in a way you that may think is good. But ultimately this is the way to live if you want to live with integrity and honesty. You can taste pure presence in any moment. Just recognize your inherent conscious presence. Most people overlook it because they expect something other than what is

I agree it takes some practice, it took me years of seeking before this insight really took hold. But it seems to be nevertheless true

Edited December 17, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[Salvijus]

Lol, all that complaning and venting about not having a gf is starting to pay off I see ? gg

[bloomer]

@Terell Kirby

14 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

Lol what? Man up and set a date ..

Being a scared little child will not get you laid.

I will set a date. Just wanted to post this thread first. I've messaged her and we've texted but I want some advice first.  

[Raze]

Try the date video here http://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

[bloomer]

@Danioover9000

17 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

 Pick a place you're familiar with when arranging a date. You want to be able to lead her around from place to place and talk about yourself a bit, stories that involved you and those places, even if those stories are embellished or full bullshido, in those stories tells her what kind of man you are in general. Don't be afraid to puff yourself a bit, and make those tales a bit emotional as well, not too over the top or dramatic.

I don't have many tales mate but I'll puff myself up. 

17 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

 I also suggest you watch all of Leo's videos on dating, and the three part how to get laid series. Worth a watch through.

I watched em all

Thing is I don't want to over complicate things. There's far too much going on in those videos. All I'm going to do is meet up, talk about myself, ask her question, have a drink, if we physically escalate and schedule another date. If not I'm not going to worry about it. That's all I really need to know.

17 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

 Also, consider training your subconscious mind, like doing lots of visualizations and positive affirmations about being social, being a player and so on. Self hypnosis is also good as well. Do those exercises until you fully believe in yourself that you are social and worth dating. Fully believe you are worth socializing and dating, as this really puts you into the right state for the interaction.

I will do this. This is one of major issues. Which is when I found out she was interested in me I initially thought why? This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me etc...

@Yarco

11 hours ago, Yarco said:

Just relax, realize she's probably just as nervous as you, even if she's been on dates before. Try to treat her like just one of the guys or a family member that you've known for a long time while you're just talking, that's the kind of familiarity you want to go for. 

Men are naturally less talkative, if she's into you she'll probably naturally carry the conversation and ask you questions to get you to open up. She will fear the awkward silence just as much as you and try to fill it if she can.

I will treat her familiarly and like a friend that I can just physically escalate with. Also I will try being talkative although I'm really not. 

11 hours ago, Yarco said:

Women like guys that are passionate about something, even if it's something "boring" like making ships in bottles, reading, having an aquarium, etc. It's better to have something unique about your personality than just be another guy who plays video games and watches Netflix

I don't really have any passions. 

@Emotionalmosquito

8 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Wow. First off, good job and best of luck mate. With any luck I’ll be in the same position soon. Few questions: What tone of voice did you use to ask her and what mood were you in? As much as you can recall, how much emphasis did you use on each word and what was your cadence like? I ask because vocal tonality is something I imagine is a massive part of whether or not a girl says yes.

I don't know I was thinking about it and I was honestly shitting myself when talking to her. I actually found out from a work colleague that she was interested in me. So I bite the bullet when I bumped into her swapping shifts and asked her if she wanted to hangout and do something sometime. I actually already had her number from the work group but I said I'd message her. What mood was I in? I just finished a long shift and hadn't eaten. After a while I become energized and from having to deal with so many people I just stop giving a shit. So I was energized I guess. I actually had my voice shake when speaking with her and was pondering not bothering asking her. Glad I did though.

[bloomer]

@Raze

I'll check it out

@Salvijus

6 hours ago, Salvijus said:

Lol, all that complaning and venting about not having a gf is starting to pay off I see ? gg

Hey, what can I say? I'm a happy boy. 

[Danioover9000]

@bloomer

1 hour ago, bloomer said:

@Danioover9000

I don't have many tales mate but I'll puff myself up. 

I watched em all

Thing is I don't want to over complicate things. There's far too much going on in those videos. All I'm going to do is meet up, talk about myself, ask her question, have a drink, if we physically escalate and schedule another date. If not I'm not going to worry about it. That's all I really need to know.

I will do this. This is one of major issues. Which is when I found out she was interested in me I initially thought why? This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me etc...

@Yarco

I will treat her familiarly and like a friend that I can just physically escalate with. Also I will try being talkative although I'm really not. 

I don't really have any passions. 

@Emotionalmosquito

I don't know I was thinking about it and I was honestly shitting myself when talking to her. I actually found out from a work colleague that she was interested in me. So I bite the bullet when I bumped into her swapping shifts and asked her if she wanted to hangout and do something sometime. I actually already had her number from the work group but I said I'd message her. What mood was I in? I just finished a long shift and hadn't eaten. After a while I become energized and from having to deal with so many people I just stop giving a shit. So I was energized I guess. I actually had my voice shake when speaking with her and was pondering not bothering asking her. Glad I did though.

   Have you also taken notes on the getting laid videos too? Noting them down tends to make them less complicated, and the note taking process helps with mentally integrating the information, such that later on the theory is easier to apply and makes them less complicated. Don't forget to take notes and question for yourself. Really put yourself at higher value and talk about yourself a lot.

   Also, while talking about yourself, don't forget, for every question you ask her, make 2 observational statements and 1 funny statement about her. Too much asking questions makes the whole thing feel like an interview.

   You can treat her as if your familiar with her, but not as a friend, as a sexual interest. Treat her like a friend if you want to be friend zoned yourself fast!

   Is your voice a common problem? Go do vocal exercises for singing and projection, learn to speak from a lower larynx and work on having a good melodic range. Having a shaky voice is a minus for a woman and a sign of neediness and fear auditorily speaking. Women on average like to hear and feel a man more than see a man to check them out. Working on that voice and physical escalation is gonna give you a bigger advantage over other men who don't work on their voices and escalations. Those two greatly increases your attraction value.

[Lyubov]

Don’t worry at all about your past and being inexperienced here. You absolutely don’t have to disclose all this stuff especially on a first date and likely even in the subsequent months of dating a woman. I was actually in the same position at your age. She has plenty herself she is not ready to be vulnerable and open about. That’s not the focus here. Focus on having fun and taking a bit of a risk. No need to take it so seriously. Look at it as an opportunity to expose yourself to a new experience, learn and have fun. I hope you enjoy your date!

[bloomer]

@Danioover9000

32 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

Have you also taken notes on the getting laid videos too? Noting them down tends to make them less complicated, and the note taking process helps with mentally integrating the information, such that later on the theory is easier to apply and makes them less complicated. Don't forget to take notes and question for yourself. Really put yourself at higher value and talk about yourself a lot.

Lots of notes. That other thread I linked is filled with them. 

33 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

 Also, while talking about yourself, don't forget, for every question you ask her, make 2 observational statements and 1 funny statement about her. Too much asking questions makes the whole thing feel like an interview.

Noted

33 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

 You can treat her as if your familiar with her, but not as a friend, as a sexual interest. Treat her like a friend if you want to be friend zoned yourself fast!

I mean I don't really have much reference on how to treat sexual interests. I mean it is somewhat similar right? How you would treat a friend and someone you're interested in. 

34 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

Women on average like to hear and feel a man more than see a man to check them out. Working on that voice and physical escalation is gonna give you a bigger advantage over other men who don't work on their voices and escalations. Those two greatly increases your attraction value.

Never knew voice was so important but I'll practice with it ig.

@Lyubov

Thanks lyubov you're great. 

[something_else]

This is your first ever date so don't expect to actually be able to apply much of the advice you've been given here in practice, most of it will fly out the window when you actually start talking

You might find that it comes quite naturally to you anyway and things go great

[Bando]

Bro just go on the dam date and have fun you dont need this much autistic level advice jesus