How To Tell A Girl That You Want To Split Paying For Dates

[Birdcage]

On 16/01/2017 at 0:50 AM, clytaemnestra said:

Sex is the same, it's just sex. You don't consume it 3 times a day, but once let's say if you're at the beginning. 

 

Still I think that both should respect each other for the first date and pay for their own meal. Maybe a man had to work hard to earn the money he has and I should let him spend his hour wage on me, what's one hour of hard work, and then friendzone him or tell him that I'm not interested? I'd never do it respecting him and his money (if he wants it's another thing, but I don't expect him to) and respecting myself and showing that I'm independent woman that can afford for herself what she wants without expecting anyone to pay anything (and then some women after one year expect new boots, then new cellphone...). 

I think sharing your body with someone(whether it's emotional or purely sex) is different than eating together. 

But you are entitled to your opinion 

[SFRL]

On 1/15/2017 at 4:42 AM, Birdcage said:

@clytaemnestra how is sleeping on a first date and paying for a meal the same? if a guy pays for a date he has the right to sleep with that woman? so paying equals sex? the last I checked that was called prostitution. 

I repeat, he does not have to pay. but if he doesn't make the effort,  it tells me he is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day. Again if there are women around whose whole purpose is to get a free meal and will give sex in exchange, stay away from them. that's just sad.

If you don't have money for a restaurant, take her to the local hot-dog stand or to a park. 

Dating is about getting to know someone and giving them your time. she gives you her time, you give her your time and see how it goes. during that time given, I think there are a lot of more important things than 'who pays for dinner' such as do you get along well, what is she like, her goals, ways of thinking, the attraction, intellectual level, sense of humor....etc. 

You are both giving equally hence your time and energy.

about sleeping on a first date, I think there are no rules. you might want to sleep with a person on a first date or third or 10th. It depends on how you feel.  

What we have here is a woman with common sense. 

[electroBeam]

On 15/01/2017 at 8:42 PM, Birdcage said:

I repeat, he does not have to pay. but if he doesn't make the effort,  it tells me he is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day.

yeah and if you don't appreciate this version of your opinion:

I repeat, She does not have to pay. but if She doesn't make the effort,  it tells me She is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day. 

Then you are being sexist. Plain and simple. That's Shin's point.

But social norms in general are pretty stupid, and they vary drastically between countries. So its just something you need to put up with. 

[Birdcage]

@electroBeam of course it goes both ways. If the woman you are out with doesn't even offer, doesn't appreciate your efforts, just sits there waiting for you to put in every effort alone, you should look at what it says about that person. 

[Birdcage]

21 hours ago, electroBeam said:

yeah and if you don't appreciate this version of your opinion:

I repeat, She does not have to pay. but if She doesn't make the effort,  it tells me She is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day. 

Then you are being sexist. Plain and simple. That's Shin's point.

But social norms in general are pretty stupid, and they vary drastically between countries. So its just something you need to put up with. 

:)thank you for writing 'she' in bold, otherwise I would have totally missed the point :P