paranoid existencial fear loops

[Michiryoku]

I am not in a higher state of conciousnous while doing this! Sometimes I think about my life from a 3rd perspective of conciousnous. I ask "This is whats happening right now" followed by "This is reality" followed by "What am I?" "So this is whats happening right now??" while looking at my hands . The tention keeps getting higher until I scream or hit something. I cant grasp that this is reality and happening. I fel powerless and lost while doing this. Realizing that i can't grasp what is happening right now. This happens only when im alone in my room.

Edited December 15, 2021 by Michiryoku

[Zedman]

I remember those very well from my time with psychedelics. What I used to do is immediately use distraction. Remember its the best egos defense mechanism. Later when I was more familiar with those states I could start inviting, facing and even studying them. Theoretical foundation on spirituality helps a lot. Fear is mostly caused by things you dont understand and panic comes when you dont know whats going on.

[Michiryoku]

46 minutes ago, Zedman said:

I remember those very well from my time with psychedelics. What I used to do is immediately use distraction. Remember its the best egos defense mechanism. Later when I was more familiar with those states I could start inviting, facing and even studying them. Theoretical foundation on spirituality helps a lot. Fear is mostly caused by things you dont understand and panic comes when you dont know whats going on.

This happens to me without psychadellics. However I go into this cycle voluntarily as I'm curious, until I experience extreme negative emotion. Afterwards I just distract myself with my life.

[Nahm]

Suppressed emotion is coming up to be honored, understood & released. Focusing on the thinking it has something to do with other people perpetuates the paranoia. Believing it has something to do with existentialism perpetuates the fear. 

You don’t want to ‘know what this is’. You want to feel better. You certainly can, incredibly better, amazingly better. But first you have to get honest and on point, that what you want is to feel better. I’d also consider & look into what spiritual bypassing is. Not judgment, relief. Much love, I hope you do. 

Higher consciousness, 3rd perspective of consciousness, etc, these are suppressive concepts. They aren’t true. You’re feeling the discord of them. 

You are in fact quite powerful, and your worthiness is not in question. 

[Nahm]

@Judy2

What energies? 

[Nahm]

@Judy2

I’m not against energy & conceptualizing per se. What works for you works for you at the end of the day really. I don’t find tension to the point of screaming subtle though, especially when linked to being alone. Felt like a tidal wave to my face, that better serves to my back. 

[Nahm]

@Judy2

What works for ya works for ya. No gettin around that.  

[Michiryoku]

On 12/17/2021 at 1:50 PM, Nahm said:

Suppressed emotion is coming up to be honored, understood & released. Focusing on the thinking it has something to do with other people perpetuates the paranoia. Believing it has something to do with existentialism perpetuates the fear. 

You don’t want to ‘know what this is’. You want to feel better. You certainly can, incredibly better, amazingly better. But first you have to get honest and on point, that what you want is to feel better. I’d also consider & look into what spiritual bypassing is. Not judgment, relief. Much love, I hope you do. 

Higher consciousness, 3rd perspective of consciousness, etc, these are suppressive concepts. They aren’t true. You’re feeling the discord of them. 

You are in fact quite powerful, and your worthiness is not in question. 

On 12/17/2021 at 1:50 PM, Nahm said:

Suppressed emotion is coming up to be honored, understood & released. Focusing on the thinking it has something to do with other people perpetuates the paranoia. Believing it has something to do with existentialism perpetuates the fear. 

You don’t want to ‘know what this is’. You want to feel better. You certainly can, incredibly better, amazingly better. But first you have to get honest and on point, that what you want is to feel better. I’d also consider & look into what spiritual bypassing is. Not judgment, relief. Much love, I hope you do. 

Higher consciousness, 3rd perspective of consciousness, etc, these are suppressive concepts. They aren’t true. You’re feeling the discord of them. 

You are in fact quite powerful, and your worthiness is not in question. 

I ask myself where am I? Seeing and living as a human is happening right now BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS COMING FROM (my body becomes heavy and a large burden is on me). I build a distance to myself like something exists out of reality. Terror follows realizing that "this is everything that is" "this is everything that is" "this is everything that is". I become terrified and I feel powerless before the realization that this moment is indeed happening and that this is consciousness. I can't fathom the fact that consciousness is happening in consciousness.

 

On 12/15/2021 at 10:38 PM, Zedman said:

I remember those very well from my time with psychedelics. What I used to do is immediately use distraction. Remember its the best egos defense mechanism. Later when I was more familiar with those states I could start inviting, facing and even studying them. Theoretical foundation on spirituality helps a lot. Fear is mostly caused by things you dont understand and panic comes when you dont know whats going on.

This happens to me without psychadellics. However I go into this cycle voluntarily as I'm curious, until I experience extreme negative emotion. Afterwards I just distract myself with my life.

[Nahm]

@Michiryoku

Give that link a read. 

[Michiryoku]

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Michiryoku

Give that link a read. 

Does that emotional scale apply to every aspect of life and is a fixed order?

[Nahm]

@Michiryoku

Just emotions really.