Ineedanswers

Does a women’s body count matter?

80 posts in this topic

32 minutes ago, vizual said:

sexism

/ˈsɛksɪz(ə)m/ noun

prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.

"sexism in language is an offensive reminder of the way the culture sees women"

 

It doesn't meet the definition of sexism. I would say the same exact thing if it was a man.

Stop virtue signalling @Tim R

Calling beautiful women who like to celebrate their sexuality "hoes" is the most sexist thing I could imagine one could say. You're lucky you got away with a warning. If I was a mod you would be out of here forever!


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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20 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Derek White I don't think a woman's body count is a deal break or as a big of deal as having children from a previous relationship, but it's definitely not a desirable or attractive trait. 

Yea, I agree with this, we should be more holistic. It's not a deal breaker, but it's not attractive either.

8 hours ago, Lyubov said:

And for the record, I actually do prefer to have a partner that is at or bellow my level of experience. I can relate to this issue. I've dated a woman more experienced than me before and it was an issue. I learned from it though and learned to create a healthy and judgement free way of handling such an issue without conceptualizing in all sorts of crazy, judgement based, lowly developed red pill ways like you have.  

This kind of defeats your own argument. No offense. I don't hate women with high-body count.

8 hours ago, Lyubov said:

It would be so much easier if shame and judgement wasn't wrapped up with being a slut. Men and women could openly disclose their bodycount and find someone they feel comfortable being with. Some will be put off by the imbalance and free to find someone similar to them. People who don't care can be together.

Nowhere have I called women with high-body counts names or derogatory terms or calling them immoral or evil. I don't want men to hate them, and I don't hate them either. I'm just sharing some of the fears average men have when they think about this issue. I also want the stigma to go away so people can be more honest about this. It's just a preference, nothing more than that.

Lastly I just wanna say, most men don't want women who give sex away easily to be their wives. This kind of behavior goes against what's expected in a monogamous relationship. IMHO this is a legitimate fear. To say this is "insecurity" is like saying "Don't be insecure about your wife having sex with other dudes. She loves you bro! Let her have sex, she'll come back to you, Why so insecure?" It's too much to expect from men.

And to clarify:

If you are a man with a high body count, it is hypocrisy to expect a low-body count from women. 

If you are an older man in his 30s or 40s, it is unreasonable to expect a very low-body count from women.  

Obviously, look at the situation holistically. 

 

Edited by Derek White

“Many talk like philosophers yet live like fools.” — Proverb

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15 hours ago, Gregory1 said:

Calling beautiful women who like to celebrate their sexuality "hoes" is the most sexist thing I could imagine one could say. You're lucky you got away with a warning. If I was a mod you would be out of here forever!

If you had any power here you would be the last person being here anyway. This used to be a forum of truth, but it has become a leftist echo chamber where no differing opinions are tolerated any longer.

 

"Celebrate their sexuality", yes nice empty rhetoric which you don't even believe yourself. 


RIP Roe V Wade 1973-2022 :)

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if you put two women in front of men with equal stuff, but one with zero body count and the other with 20 body counts, 95% of men would go with the zero girl. for women choosing men, the vice versa is true.

I'm sorry if I get bitter to some of you but this is the primal genetic bias that we're holding as an animal.

the more body count you have as a woman, the more you're damaging yourself and your price.

the body count is a masculine thing!

 

Edited by hamedsf

"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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more on evolutionary biology and genetic bias:

put two females in front of men with the same factors like beauty, body shape and other external appearances.

except one is 18 years old and the other is 30 years old.

90% would choose the 18 years old girl. 

Edited by hamedsf

"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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Just now, hamedsf said:

more on evolutionary biology and genetic bias:

put two females in front of men with the same factors like beauty, body shape and other external appearances.

except one is 18 years old and the other is 30 years old.

90% would choose the 18 years old girl. 

not 18 wtf that's far too young

but maybe 24

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9 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

if you put two women in front of men with equal stuff, but one with zero body count and the other with 20 body counts, 95% of men would go with the zero girl. for women choosing men, the vice versa is true.

I'm sorry if I get bitter to some of you but this is the primal genetic bias that we're holding as an animal.

the more body count you have as a woman, the more you're damaging yourself and your price.

the body count is a masculine thing!

 

Fuck that

You don't want a virgin who doesn't know what she's doing. Maybe if you like a partner who just lies there and lets you use them like a sex doll but if you want kinky, dynamic, fun sex, you want girls who have got some experience

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2 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Am I the only one who has a problem with that kind of approach? It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, would you be ok if your partner settled for you cause they couldn't find someone better for whatever reason?

Idk, about you guys, but I wouldn't want my girlfriend (or boyfriend if I was a girl) to tell me: well, to be honest, I am not that I attracted to you, I just kind of settled for you since you logically seemed like a good option and cause I couldn't find anyone better. But don't worry, you know, could be better, could be worse. I appreciate your integrity though, props to you for that.

Haha

But jokes aside, I seriously wouldn't want to be with someone who feel that way about me, I would much rather prefer them rejecting me and staying alone. Doesn't everyone deserve to have a partner who is genuinely attracted to them, and who didn't choose them like a car comparing different options and trying to logically find the best deal?

You kinda took it the wrong way here. What I meant is what you're attracted to and what you settle for changes with emotional growth. 

When a woman is naive and emotionally immature she mostly relies on her Sexuality to attract a man. She is attracted to the ones who look attractive to her without understanding or taking into account the emotional aspects of it. It's like a kid getting attracted to candy. Let's say the candy contains too much sugar or toxins and is bad for the kid. The kid would still eat it because they simply like it and lack the wisdom to make a proper choice. 

An adult won't accept a candy if they read what toxins it contains because they can make well informed choices on what to eat and what to avoid. 

An emotionally immature woman is like a kid who easily gets swayed by a man who flirts with her, probably the reason why men like unexperienced women because they are easy to game. 

An emotionally matured woman on the other hand wouldn't fall for such games. 

She knows the worth of a good man. She is automatically also attracted to him because whatever we feel good about, we eventually develop attraction for it as well. 

Compare this to the food example. An adult would rather prefer to eat organic leafy greens than candy. Yes candies are tempting and attractive. But a conscious person will avoid it and eat healthy food. This means a conscious individual no longer relies merely on instinct but also uses intellect and wisdom in making a healthy choice for life. 

An emotionally immature woman is unhealthily attracted to the wrong kind of men. 

An emotionally matured women is healthily attracted to the right guy. This attraction is beyond just heart attraction. It's both heart and the head whereas unhealthy attraction is mostly based on pure instinct and sexual charge. The woman does not use her mind or head. 

Love that involves both mind and heart is complete love. Love that only involves the heart is kinda silly love and most likely it results in dissatisfaction. 

Love that is right both in the head and the heart is true fulfilling love and the attraction is not empty attraction but fulfilling attraction. 

When I said that the guy (that the emotionally matured woman chooses to be with) is not attractive I did not mean to say that the woman does not find him attractive, I meant that he may or may not be a conventionally attractive man (what society generally defines as attractive) and yet she wants him because she is now attracted to a different kind of man as opposed to what she used to be attracted to. She is now attracted to an intelligent kind guy, attraction still exists. 

I hope you understood. 

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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1 hour ago, vizual said:

If you had any power here you would be the last person being here anyway. This used to be a forum of truth, but it has become a leftist echo chamber where no differing opinions are tolerated any longer.

 

"Celebrate their sexuality", yes nice empty rhetoric which you don't even believe yourself. 

Sorry @vizual but you simply lost it. 

You should stark taking personal development seriously and introspect. All that hatred and violence you are causing right now will come back at you. Be aware of that. 

Being hateful, violent, discriminative, sexist is not a question of "having an opinion." 

It is a question of what we define ourselves as as humans. I define humans as beautiful, as loveable, as worthy.

If you wanna define humans as "hoes" you can do that but don't be surprised when other humans start to leave you. Nobody will want you if you behave that way.


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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19 minutes ago, Gregory1 said:

Sorry @vizual but you simply lost it. 

You should stark taking personal development seriously and introspect. All that hatred and violence you are causing right now will come back at you. Be aware of that. 

Being hateful, violent, discriminative, sexist is not a question of "having an opinion." 

It is a question of what we define ourselves as as humans. I define humans as beautiful, as loveable, as worthy.

If you wanna define humans as "hoes" you can do that but don't be surprised when other humans start to leave you. Nobody will want you if you behave that way.

You have drank the kool-aid. And you want to create an environment where people can't say what they want to say, even if it's the truth. Exactly this is the contemporary culture that has been created that is poisoning our society. It's not the people that are blunt with their words that are creating a poisonous world. It's the people that want to control the usage of language with censorship to suppress the truth. The truth is offensive, and hurts people's feelings, thus it's illegal to say.

You can define humans as beautiful and loveable, but that is not reality. There are murderers, thieves, rapists, pedophiles, adulterers people who would kill you without remorse. And there are people like you, who want a relativist morality, where it's 'all good man, just chill'. And censor people who don't drink the kool-aid. Yeah, those people are even more dangerous than the murderers.

And look at how hypocritical you are. Now you say that I can call people hoes. Yet, a few posts back you wanted to kick me out of this forum. Typical new age hypocrisy


RIP Roe V Wade 1973-2022 :)

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11 minutes ago, vizual said:

You have drank the kool-aid. And you want to create an environment where people can't say what they want to say, even if it's the truth. Exactly this is the contemporary culture that has been created that is poisoning our society. It's not the people that are blunt with their words that are creating a poisonous world. It's the people that want to control the usage of language with censorship to suppress the truth. The truth is offensive, and hurts people's feelings, thus it's illegal to say.

You can define humans as beautiful and loveable, but that is not reality. There are murderers, thieves, rapists, pedophiles, adulterers people who would kill you without remorse. And there are people like you, who want a relativist morality, where it's 'all good man, just chill'. And censor people who don't drink the kool-aid. Yeah, those people are even more dangerous than the murderers.

And look at how hypocritical you are. Now you say that I can call people hoes. Yet, a few posts back you wanted to kick me out of this forum. Typical new age hypocrisy

Learn to read. What I said was: Call people hoes, but don't act surprised when people start kicking you out.

You are moving at dangerous grounds my friend. Living in hateful and untruthful ideologies like the one you live in is not without comsequence.


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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46 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

@vizual There's an absolutely bulletproof, and simple method of finding out what's true and what's not. You wanna hear it?

Just ask yourself this question: How is this worldview/opinion working for me? 

Unfortunatly @vizual is more interested in lies than in truth.

The devil bites his own tail and acts suprised when shit hits the fence..

 

 

 


Please do not take anything I say as an insult. I have 17 warning points and I'd like to stay on this forum.

You are Love.

1 year meditation, 1 hour daily https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/76489-1-year-meditation-1h-daily-start-at-100122/

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@vizual You got valid points, but delivery means a lot ie not saying hoe etc. 

 

There must be a reason why lower body count has been prized by most men over centuries. If we look to evolutionary biology a jealous response is built in as a mate guarding mechanism to ensure your paternity and that your blood sweat and tears aren't going into raising another genetic line at your expense, ie being cucked. For men to be shamed that they are insecure because of this is to repress a shadow aspect of our instinct, of course we overcome this through consciousness/intelligence. Men shouldn't be shamed against their primal instincts the same way women shouldn't be shamed against their primal instincts.

Our instincts will always signal to us, our intelligence is what we use to act accordingly upon those instincts in the modern world, environment and context. 

Their is a difference between judging and being judgmental. Judging is important for making good life decisions. Being judgmental is declaring moral superiority over everyone else and comes from ego. We should be glad women judged the men they slept with and had children, in fact they should judge more and not have children with bad abusive men who won't are unstable financially, emotionally etc. For a man to judge his decision on who to have children with is likewise fine. Don't let anyone shame, guilt trip you into decisions because its the 'right' thing to do and 'inclusive.'

Edited by zazen

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I personally think body counts matters in both men and women, not just in your future relationships, but in relationship with yourself. but I know people here have very different opinions.

 

Edited by SgtPepper

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I think it depends I’m still wrapping my head around what sex even really is from a high perspective. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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5 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I think it depends I’m still wrapping my head around what sex even really is from a high perspective. 

I had a cool realisation while tripping on a wedding ^_^ Nothing has changed, I perceived my field of view as a fractal. Each person is like a spiral and each couple is a pair of spirals turned into opposite direction - they tend to cancel each other. You can have more or less matching spirals.

It's up to you how deep you want to go and you can choose more or less matching spiral for yourself.

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On 12/16/2021 at 5:44 PM, Preety_India said:

lover. You shouldn't make coffee for her simply because you want to impress her, but because you really want to do nice things for her from your heart, otherwise it's a false show of love, not exactly coming from your heart. If you don't become affectionate, empathetic and understanding to your partner, what's the point of the relationship and where is your growth i

@Preety_India I really appreciate you taking the time to write these in-depth answers they really help.tysm?. One more question please.

i wasn’t planning on doing nice things/complimenting her etc just to impress her or for any other ulterior motive(eh-pretending to be a nice guy so she ll have sex with me etc)

but from what you and leo say,it seems to me that always doing nice things for her (even though there is no other motive than to make her happy) is not something she wants.is this true? I personally would like to make her always feel happy,be empathetic,loving,cuddly etc but if she doesn’t want me to be like this and she would actually prefer it if I was detached,gave compliments sparingly etc aren’t I doing her a disservice by being to cuddly and empathetic? I’m just wondering which personality will make her happier in a long term relationship. The empathetic,loving caring,morning breakfast in bed making,flowers every Sunday forest gump type of guy or the detached,rarely smiling, player Christian gray kind of guy?im quite confused could you help me out? 

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Women wan't men who have a future
Men want women who don't have a past.

Trying to convince guys that body count doesn't matter is like trying to convince a girl that she should date a bum that lives with his parents and plays fornite. Body count doesn't matter for hook ups but it definitely matters for a serious relationship.

Edited by funcool

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3 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

@Ineedanswers yes of course it does proportional to the level that she doesn't know how to regulate her capacity for intimacy.

Is she a Mercedez here or more devolved to like an old Datsun that takes a few starters and breaks down at a red light, especially if it's a red light district and she's out there sticking her thumb out on the side of the road here and on a deserted highway giving blowjobs for travel to the next short term waitress job in Texas?

I always give the simplest and best answers.

Seriously though, if her fuck is greater than the buck she can invest with her heart what the fuck? Move on, find your Porshe etc 

I agree. I think a woman can grow past this, but unless that inner work is done it can be a big red flag

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