Does a women’s body count matter?

[Ineedanswers]

Hey guys.sorry for the shady topic but I’m genuinely curious.it never was a problem for me ,but after watching lots of dating/redpill(Kevin samuels etc) youtubers I’m wondering if it’s weird to not care about your partners body count at all? some dating coaches say that only betas/guys who can’t get any girls are the only ones who don’t care about body counts.as a beta myself (never had a gf etc) I’m wondering if the fact that I don’t care about body counts is abnormal.i would love to hear your opinions.do you’ll personally care? Some people go as far as to say you should only marry virgins!! This sound insane and extremely unrealistic to me as it is normal for girls to have atleast one sexual encounter before high school finishes(18yrs) finishes.to expect a girl to be a virgin until marriage is extremely unrealistic isn’t it?(unless it’s a girl from a extremely stage blue society with very controlling abusive parents like Arabia or something)

Also what is your opinion on single mothers? Is it strange to not have much of a issue with raising someone else’s child? I don’t think I would have much of a problem with it.is this strange? According to rich cooper/rollo tomassi etc it is.

 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Ineedanswers

[decentralized]

"some dating coaches say that only betas/guys who can’t get any girls are the only ones who don’t care about body counts"

That's stupid. 

[Ineedanswers]

@decentralized I agree

[hoodrow trillson]

Yes and no.  It’s a make-believe value system that exists in society today, so while it doesn’t matter— it actually does matter currently.

It’s like asking a woman if the height of a man matters.  It doesn’t truly matter but it most definitely does. 

[Ulax]

@Ineedanswers What you want/ need at a given moment, is what you want/ need.

For some 'body count' matters, for some it doesn't.

Should it/ shouldn't it is besides the point. Whatever is, is whatever should have been, descriptively speaking.

I really dislike the term 'body count', too.

[something_else]

42 minutes ago, vizual said:

It matters; once a hoe, always a hoe. Can you really respect your woman if she sucked the D's of half the town? Do you really want the mother of your children to be a hoe?

If she sucked the D's of half the guys in her hometown she knows how to suck D good. And if you've fucked your own fair share of girls you know how to fuck a girl good too. At that point body count doesn't matter, once both partners have had sex a reasonable amount of times.

The problems happen when you get dudes with a body count of like 0 or 1 and girls with a higher body count or vice versa. The imbalance can definitely create problems

Other problems happen if you live in a small town and the girl is still in contact on a daily basis with all the dudes she fucked, or again vice versa for men. 

But if you live in a big place that's a non-issue

Basically it's good for everyone to get some experience fucking. Don't die with a body count of like 1 or 2, male or female. I know that's the traditional, conservative, family values ideal but it's dumb and it makes you miserable

[vizual]

@something_else  Actually the fewer sex partners a person has had before marriage, the happier they are. If you think fucking a bunch of people is going to provide any lasting happiness you will be disappointed. If that was the case prostitutes are the happiest people in the world lol. But they are the most miserable people.

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

[Lyubov]

It's largely insecurity. Red pill is shit, stop listening to it. Some loser pick up coaches that have the word beta in their vocabulary will harp on about this because they are under developed and actually incredibly inexperienced with women. I would firstly watch your information intake. Tons of toxic ideologies and mindsets in this domain and it's presented as advice which is stored in your mind and transmitted out through your body making you insecure and weak. When such clowns find out the girl they like has been with other guys their feelings curdle like milk and they have an existential crisis. They think they were the ones with game when the game was playing them all along.

Let me be clear, It's one thing to still want to fulfill your own sexual desires. To want to have lots of sexual experiences with various women, because women are awesome and beautiful. The feeling of sexual freedom in this domain as a man feels great. I feel this way sometimes as well, wanting freedom from my relationship to have sex with other women. It's perfectly normal. It feels good to be single or have the opportunity to experience different women and have various sexual partners. And it's also perfectly normal to have some envy or frustration when you can't do this because you are in a relationship. Sometimes your partner may have already fulfilled or explored these desires or aspect for herself. This may even bring up some envy in you and some anger that you can't do the same. That's all normal and the feelings that come about because of that are healthy. This can be handled through healthy forms of discussion and working on having a fulfilling sex life with your partner. You can also choose to be single again and pursue other women if you so please. You are free to choose and free to fulfill your desires in healthy ways. Her sexual past says nothing about who you are and if you think it does you are purely assigning that meaning to yourself.

It's another thing to create some sort of toxic judgement based ideology because you are intimidated by a woman choosing to do whatever she so pleases with her body. All you need to be concerned with here is if you are having safe sex and the past doesn't affect present health, being honest with each other about your desires and what counts as infidelities, and being transparent with each other about your pasts with boundaries that are comfortable with both partners, and then you are free to choose to invest in this woman knowing the information you do about her. She is under no obligation to disclose everything about her sexual past to you. That can feel very judging and painful for her. She may have been assaulted or been in a dark pattern where she had sex due to a traumatic response. You are free to choose if you do / don't want to be with her based off what you do / don't know about her past but not in a way where you judge her for it, force her to disclose more information she isn't comfortable with, or make labels up for her and shame other guys that are happy to be with her.

The guys who get all defensive and butt hurt about this couldn't hold down a healthy relationship to save their lives. Their dick game is awful too and far from great. You can't reach sex god statues holding onto this type of judgement AND at the same time fuse your passion and love energies together. It's not possible. Stop listening to this awful advice, start trusting your own guidance and focus on fulfilling your own desires in healthy ways. 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Lyubov

[vizual]

@Lyubov So the key to holding a healthy relationship is good 'dick game'? Lol

[Lyubov]

3 minutes ago, vizual said:

@Lyubov So the key to holding a healthy relationship is good 'dick game'? Lol

If you want a highly passionate romantic loving relationship with you feeling like a superior man that has a beautiful woman by his side then yes. It's a very important aspect. You're free to settle for letting it fizzle out and having a platonic life partner instead though if you so wish. 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Lyubov

[Preety_India]

Body count on both sides matter. Body count can include the number of relationships as well as the number of people slept with. 

It's a huge indicator of a person's dating pattern. 

For example if someone's body count is zero, I would find it a bit odd that they never had a relationship. It's not like I'm going to judge them for it, yet I'm going to find it odd. 

Then I have set the higher limit as 7. That means anyone who has had more than 7 relationships is off the list because that's a pretty high number and indicates that the person isn't good at handling relationships or is always ending up with a wrong partner. Having 2-3 past relationships looks perfectly normal to me because you need a few experiences before you settle for the right one. So if someone had 2-3 relationships, whether man or woman would sound perfectly normal since you need that level of experience to find a good partner. If a person had few relationships but a very high body count it means that they were mostly into only sex stuff like casual sex. I wouldn't like that because they are more likely to cheat(just my personal observation). 

Also the length of the time is important, not just body count. If someone has had only 1 relationship but it's been more than 7 years and they aren't able to figure out what to do with it, that would be a huge red flag, it reflects their inability to move out of a bad relationship or inability to decide what's good for them because what the heck are they doing in that relationship for so long. 

Too high body count, like above 7 is a bad sign to me because it means the person does not invest emotions into it or they take it too lightly or don't care about it too much. It reflects a slutty nature, irrelevant of gender. To me that's a big sign that says cheater in bold letters. 

Again these are simply assumptions on a person's dating ethics. They might not be necessarily true or they could be exceptions. 

 

 

[Lyubov]

Having an imbalance in a relationship that stirs up some painful feelings is perfectly normal. Imbalances are an aspect of relationships that can sometimes cause some issues but can also be overcome if both sides wish to do so. For instance a financial imbalance is a good example. You don't see rich people marry middle class or poor people too often but it sometimes happens. When it comes to sex partners you can feel intimidated or even feel some envy if your partner is more experienced than you. You can even prioritize wanting to go and gain more experience and fulfill your desires with more partners over being in a relationship. That's fine too. Creating some sort of toxic world view that any woman who has had more sex than you is untouchable and any guy that is with her is a beta is pure insecurity and pathetic small dick energy stuff. 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Lyubov

[Terell Kirby]

It obviously matters if you have to ask about it.

Don't give women such a hard time about how many guys they have screwed in their lifetime.

If you're insecure about it, keep it to yourself. You should know how many bodies you are uncomfortable with, no need to broadcast it to anyone. 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Terell Kirby

[Bando]

Context matters, if shes your perfect woman in your eyes and she tells you she slept with 30 people will you view her different? From my experience any chick that has admitted to me she has had over 25 partners has always had some major red flags. No woman is realistically going to tell you she has a high body count because she understands it makes her lose value if she wants a relationship. Its up to you to be a good judge of character and screen out chicks that show "hoe behavior" 

This also relates to guys as well the more promiscuous a guy is the more limiting beliefs he will develop regarding relationships, that's something I had to consciously correct.

[Derek White]

Speaking from men's perspective, of course it matters if you are interested in marriage. It matters to most men whether you like it or not. Most men intuitively don't want their wife to have slept with 20-30 guys before them. It's an instant dislike. I always say look at it from a case to case basis, but men will judge you for it.

Here are the reasons why: 

• She going to compare you to all her exes, "he was better in bed", "he was richer", "he was more romantic", etc.
• She going to be jaded and bring her trauma to this new relationship. She may feel scared to love you fully, because she is more careful now, because some playboy scarred her.
• There is a risk of cheating and divorce, how do I know I'm not just another number for her? What if her previous pattern of relationships continues? is she even interested in a long-term relationship? 
• If she has hooked up with a bunch of guys, sex is probably more important to her than other qualities. So as you get old and ugly or finds a hooter guy... maybe she doesn't want to be in the relationship.
• Many high-value men will have sex with women who are lower in value than them. But these men will never commit to them. What it leads to is low-value women thinking they deserve high-value men as life-partners, just because they were able to have sex with them. So these women will settle for a low-value man because their biological clock is running out, but in reality they don't respect you or find you attractive. This will cause problems in your relationship.
• Men want to feel special too. If a woman has already been with many guys that just makes us feel not special. 
• Having been in many relationships makes you jaded. "Been there, done that" attitude. Your 30th relationship is going to feel much less special, than your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. 

Women should know that men will always judge you based on your body count. No one wants to deal with that trauma. Women who sleep around, their standards are all messed up. 

Women need to realize a high-value man will fuck you and leave you. And then you will be under the illusion that a high-value man will commit to you, when in reality even an average guy won’t commit to you. You won’t feel attractive to a low-value guy afterwards. Even if you marry one, he’s gonna feel your lack of attraction towards him.

For women it’s not about about how many guys you can have sex with, it’s about how many high-value guys will commit to you.

 

5 hours ago, Ineedanswers said:

This sound insane and extremely unrealistic to me as it is normal for girls to have atleast one sexual encounter before high school finishes(18yrs) finishes.to expect a girl to be a virgin until marriage is extremely unrealistic isn’t it?(unless it’s a girl from a extremely stage blue society with very controlling abusive parents like Arabia or something)

That expectations is probably too much to ask for in North America. But in other parts of the world like South Asia, South East Asia, Eastern Europe, etc. this is not unheard of. It's not limited to Arabia or Afghanistan alone and no, it's not always because parents forced them. It's simply the culture there and causal sex and hook ups are looked down upon by younger men and women too. This is probably true for most people in the world, most people don't have the same luxuries you have in the West. 

5 hours ago, Ineedanswers said:

Also what is your opinion on single mothers? Is it strange to not have much of a issue with raising someone else’s child? I don’t think I would have much of a problem with it.is this strange? According to rich cooper/rollo tomassi etc it is.

 

If you don't have problem raising someone else's kid then it's fine. But can't you see how some men are justified in not wanting to do that? It should be pretty obvious. How many women would marry single fathers? Not many I suppose.

Here's what men think:

• When women have kids, their attention turns towards them more. The husband becomes a second priority. 
• Rehashing my previous point, trauma and feeling jaded from previous relationships and partners.
• What if you don't want kids? Or plan on having them later in life?
•  Do you want to deal with "You're not my father!", " You're not his dad!" BS in your relationship. The relationship with the child will always be rocky.

 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Derek White

[something_else]

1 hour ago, vizual said:

@something_else  Actually the fewer sex partners a person has had before marriage, the happier they are. If you think fucking a bunch of people is going to provide any lasting happiness you will be disappointed. If that was the case prostitutes are the happiest people in the world lol. But they are the most miserable people.

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

And most people who are married are not happy lmao

It doesn't provide you lasting happiness but the absence of sexual variety can make you extremely unhappy

Same as money. Can't make you happy. But not having it sure as hell makes you miserable

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Body count on both sides matter. Body count can include the number of relationships as well as the number of people slept with. 

It's a huge indicator of a person's dating pattern. 

For example if someone's body count is zero, I would find it a bit odd that they never had a relationship. It's not like I'm going to judge them for it, yet I'm going to find it odd. 

Then I have set the higher limit as 7. That means anyone who has had more than 7 relationships is off the list because that's a pretty high number and indicates that the person isn't good at handling relationships or is always ending up with a wrong partner. Having 2-3 past relationships looks perfectly normal to me because you need a few experiences before you settle for the right one. So if someone had 2-3 relationships, whether man or woman would sound perfectly normal since you need that level of experience to find a good partner. If a person had few relationships but a very high body count it means that they were mostly into only sex stuff like casual sex. I wouldn't like that because they are more likely to cheat(just my personal observation). 

Also the length of the time is important, not just body count. If someone has had only 1 relationship but it's been more than 7 years and they aren't able to figure out what to do with it, that would be a huge red flag, it reflects their inability to move out of a bad relationship or inability to decide what's good for them because what the heck are they doing in that relationship for so long. 

Too high body count, like above 7 is a bad sign to me because it means the person does not invest emotions into it or they take it too lightly or don't care about it too much. It reflects a slutty nature, irrelevant of gender. To me that's a big sign that says cheater in bold letters. 

Again these are simply assumptions on a person's dating ethics. They might not be necessarily true or they could be exceptions. 

 

Wait, but didn't you say that you slept with or were in a relationship with players before? Those guys probably had high body counts.

[Lyubov]

59 minutes ago, Derek White said:

Speaking from men's perspective, of course it matters if you are interested in marriage. It matters to most men whether you like it or not. Most men intuitively don't want their wife to have slept with 20-30 guys before them. It's an instant dislike. I always say look at it from a case to case basis, but men will judge you for it.

Here are the reasons why: 

• She going to compare you to all her exes, "he was better in bed", "he was richer", "he was more romantic", etc.
• She going to be jaded and bring her trauma to this new relationship. She may feel scared to love you fully, because she is more careful now, because some playboy scarred her.
• There is a risk of cheating and divorce, how do I know I'm not just another number for her? What if her previous pattern of relationships continues? is she even interested in a long-term relationship? 
• If she has hooked up with a bunch of guys, sex is probably more important to her than other qualities. So as you get old and ugly or finds a hooter guy... maybe she doesn't want to be in the relationship.
• Many high-value men will have sex with women who are lower in value than them. But these men will never commit to them. What it leads to is low-value women thinking they deserve high-value men as life-partners, just because they were able to have sex with them. So these women will settle for a low-value man because their biological clock is running out, but in reality they don't respect you or find you attractive. This will cause problems in your relationship.
• Men want to feel special too. If a woman has already been with many guys that just makes us feel not special. 
• Having been in many relationships makes you jaded. "Been there, done that" attitude. Your 30th relationship is going to feel much less special, than your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. 

Definitely not the perspective of all men. You basically just listed all YOUR own insecurities here  Women will compare you to their exes no matter the number. This shouldn't sway you too much if you are confident in yourself. She will almost always be staying with you as well if she values you as a whole more than she does an ex of her's from her past. Women live and learn you know. If you have any question about this then there is something wrong with your current relationship at it's root that likely doesn't have to do with her past. Find loyal, honest women, build better relationships. Women are much more ruthless in their settling than what is appreciated on here. Guys here far overvalue the ticking biological clock high value/ low value BS that is said to play a role on female psychology. Most would long and far become crazy single cat ladies before settling with a loser guy or guy they think is lower than those they fucked. She's in a relationship with you precisely because she sees you as a high value guy. The bolded is probably the silliest part of your post. Especially today with the career focused path and being able to have a baby into the late 30s. Women have a lot of options today besides starting a family. I've dated a woman who was scarred after dating (LTR) a single guy and having slept with 5 total at the age of 24. Playboys don't scar women even though they wish they had this amount of sway/influence/impact on a woman they hooked up with for a few months. The scarring comes from dysfunctional LTR. I'm also far more suspicious of the envious partner that has less experience over the experienced partner that clearly knows what they want now out of a relationship. This list you made doesn't hold up at all. It's fine if this is the stuff going on in your mind finding out your girl has slept with more people than you but you are far away from speaking for all or even a sizable portion of men on this topic.  

Edited December 15, 2021 by Lyubov

[Derek White]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

It's fine if this is the stuff going on in your mind finding out your girl has slept with more people than you but you are far away from speaking for all or even a sizable portion of men on this topic.  

Go talk to guys outside of your ideological bubble. This is the mainstream male perspective. Most men don't want women with high body counts as wives.

If it didn't matter women wouldn't hide it and "slut" wouldn't be a derogatory term.

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

Most would long and far become crazy single cat ladies before settling with a loser guy or guy they think is lower than those they fucked. She's in a relationship with you precisely because she sees you as a high value guy.

Many women are in relationships with men they can't get sexually aroused from. 

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

The bolded is probably the silliest part of your post. Especially today with the career focused path and being able to have a baby into the late 30s. Women have a lot of options today besides starting a family.

What I said applies to people who want a family.

It becomes harder for women in their late 30s to find a good husband. A woman in her 30s who is successful will not marry a man who is less successful than her. Women don't marry down. The men she wants to marry may want women in their late 20s who are not as career driven. Late 30s is not a good age for women to seek a husband. They have much more bargaining power in their mid and late 20s. 

Even if they don't marry low-value men as you said, the single-cat-lady ending isn't much of a happy ending either. Basically it fucks up their standards for men. A man who would have been a good husband seems mediocre because he has to compete with the best qualities of all those previous men. 

 

Edited December 16, 2021 by Derek White

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

Wait, but didn't you say that you slept with or were in a relationship with players before? Those guys probably had high body counts.

Player does not mean high body count. Their behavior was like that of pua type guys. But if I remember, most of them had 0 or 1 relationship before meeting me. So I didn't see any problem. 

Player is a mentality where the guy likes gaming women with no real intentions for a long term relationship. He is simply testing his skills to see if he can attract me or not, without actually falling in love with me which can be pretty hurtful because such men usually tend to lead the woman to make her believe that they are really wanting her and she eventually realizes that he has no such plans. That's when she dumps him. It's the same thing that women do where they lead a man to believe that they really want him meanwhile he is simply a temporary "guy" before she finds her prize. Both gender can engage in player behavior. Leading someone on and then dumping them or showing lack of interest is a very cruel experience. If a person (man or woman) does not have the full intent to pursue a relationship then they should make this thing clear in the beginning of the relationship. Most people are looking to attract someone because they feel good about it, it's a conquest or a score. Very few people are really interested in pursuing a relationship because a relationship is always hard work.