After the club - When I have the number pt.2

[something_else]

46 minutes ago, mememe said:

oh sorry - that was @something_else i confused you both for this and the last post. was not expecting a second similar story.

Yea sorry I sort of derailed the thread a little, apologies 

[ValiantSalvatore]

2 hours ago, mememe said:

@ValiantSalvatore didn’t you say you contacted her and she was asking about where you would take her? it sounded like you had a date.

oh sorry - that was @something_else i confused you both for this and the last post. was not expecting a second similar story.

if you have fun, you should go with that flow for a while until it’s basically satisfying for you to having fun without the need of closing. a lot of women really can feel that as a pressure, if it’s too intense it doesn’t matter if they liked your overall appearance (physical and basic vibe) they will opt out because they don’t like to be trophies. you might underestimate how women likewise might have a hunting instinct at dating and don’t really have fun with being a prey for an end result.

Yeah it's just not fun dating orange and/or greens only. I appreciate the advice, yet this does not help at all as this is what I am doing already. 

[hyruga]

13 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

Just to set this clear I received 0 response. So the heavy escalation and Leo basically saying I am paraphrasing that she will not meet up. Was true in this case.

 

She knows you are the sexual predator now. As shocking as it sounds, you need to start doing the provider role. Shows that you are interested in her and interested in a long term relationship. 

Offer to drive her to work (without asking for anything in return) because you want to protect her.

Bring her to amusement park/football/basketball stadiums just to have fun and safely bring her home. Talk about career goals, dreams and marriage.

But overall, your chance is very slim. Probably time to move on and treat the next girl well.

[something_else]

8 minutes ago, hyruga said:

Offer to drive her to work (without asking for anything in return) because you want to protect her.

Bring her to amusement park/football/basketball stadiums just to have fun and safely bring her home. Talk about career goals, dreams and marriage.

No don't do any of this stuff with someone you're just getting to know lol

Well, maybe career goals and dreams but for god sake don't talk about marriage with someone you are just at the flirting stage with, male or female

[ValiantSalvatore]

Sorry ya'll really miss the point. 

@hyruga The provider role is one frame you can play, yet this will work entirely differently in different cultures. Imagine I could have dated one girl who would be fine me marrying her but without sex (me being the provider -> older age etc). As well as girls who have higher status than me and I still lead. 

The point is also there is this language bias again. This is only a signifier being signified. There are so many variables at play it's just not so clear cut and rational.

Me being the provider and playing the provider role etc. Is what this girl particularily liked so your intuition is correct. I personally do not like it that much and it's more of an alpha frame of taking care and I mean more alpha brain wave states than what ordinary culture conflates with being alpha. I am not very good in that frame either I might be very good in alpha brainwave states. I prefer independence and interdependence a lot. These roles are also completely jumbled through the entire empowerment movement. I am also turned off by women who want a provider. I most likely frame best in the succesful/adventerous/artist frame although this is one frame that can work successfully from reading David DeAngelos work. It's just not natural to me. As well as the artist frame can be toxic. I definitely need to move there are just not many people here to date/pick up etc.

I'd most likely take better care than most guys would of their relationships as i am highly invested in growth. I just could not handle a lazy partner in a sense that is not interested in growth. 

Yes, provider frame can work. I am just not interested in doing that and I'd rather project a successful guy as this would feel more authentic to my personality.