Wing question

[Vercingetorix]

I have a wing that I like and we have good chemistry.  Problem is that he is more cocky \ player \ selfish than me, so when we open sets together he kinda sets the frame and it makes me a bit uncomfortable because I'm more authentic \ friendly vibe which seems to me to be a weaker frame. Maybe the difference is that he is looking for sex and I'm looking for "love" \ girlfriend. On top of that, I still have my own issues relating to communicating in a group and it's challenging for me to take attention and talk about myself \ stories.
I'm wondering if I should stick to my authentic guy frame and just divide the sets half and half, and ask him to support me in my frame in my sets. Or otherwise, in order to be successful, I have to adapt and learn the cocky/player mindset, even though it feels fake and stupid to me?

[Leo Gura]

It shouldn't matter so much. Let him game his girl and you game yours. You two have to agree to pick targets and not cross swords. Just a bit of coordination is all it takes. Basically if you're working a 2-set you talk to each girl as if you're one-on-one with her. There is no need to entertain both girls at once. Of course, be friendly together, but also keep your convos isolated. You need to do that anyway to build intimacy and romance.

My wings can have very different styles than me, and often they are much more talkative than me.

[Lyubov]

Slightly unrelated but three years ago when I was still doing day game I found a wing. We went out three times. I started opening sets and the greedy little shit would then sorta ride off of them. After I did the hard work of putting a bit of energy into starting a conversation he would sorta swoop in bypass having to do a bit of the initial needy stuff and take the number. He did it two or three times on the third day so I just stopped going out with him. Pussy parasite. 

[Leo Gura]

Being a good wing takes some skill. You need to set some ground rules like he who opens the set gets to pick the girl. And obviously no stealing your wing's girl.

[Leo Gura]

36 minutes ago, Medhansh said:

I am talking with girls, getting numbers, being humorous, and all of a sudden this one guy just takes advantage of the vibe I created and takes one or two girls with him. And I am left with the not so good looking friend of the good looking girl.

You gotta be more direct with your target girl and lock her in physically so other guys can't get in there.

Be careful about entertaining entire sets of girls without having a target. This can seem like good game but it tends to lead nowhere. Once you get close to your target and lock her in, it's actually good for another guys to occupy the other girls so you can focus on your target.

If a guy comes into your set, immediately take your girl by the hand and lead her away a bit to the side. Let the other girls talk to the new guy while you get one-on-one time with your girl. And use this as a further excuse to bounce her to the other side of the venue to meet your friends. You can say something like, "Let's go meet my friends real quick, then I'll bring you back to your friends."

[Vercingetorix]

@Leo Gura Thanks, I take from your response that whenever I open a set I should immediately focus on the girl I like and talk to her. my automatic reaction is to talk without purpose and make sure everyone feels comfortable.

@Lyubov Ah the Narcissist wingman that needs you for emotional support but doesn't give a shit about you - I met some like that. I have a client who a guy he thought was his best friend was like that with him, for something like 9 whole fucking years. It took him an Ayahuasca and therapy to understand his best friend is a piece of shit to him.

[Lyubov]

13 hours ago, Medhansh said:

I hate these people. Not just wings per se, but also in social circles. I mean, I am talking with girls, getting numbers, being humorous, and all of a sudden this one guy just takes advantage of the vibe I created and takes one or two girls with him. And I am left with the not so good looking friend of the good looking girl. I mean, I can be aggressive and dominant of the hot girl and not let him steal her, but I find that too needy and I hate it. It feels like I am a mouse chasing cheese. That's why I let it go most of the times.

It’s not needy persay if you know how to do it right. A lot of behavior that requires effort and kinda shows it is over labeled as needy in pick up IMO. isolating is not needy if you are giving fun and leading vibes. It’s not necessarily needy when you claim your girl(s) and keep your territory also. It usually has to be done in high quality ways though through social skills and a gentleness, sometimes a bit firmly. A very low quality way would be getting angry and being aggressive. Obviously this is a turn off. A guy that displays confident body language though and can smoothly and firmly lead the vibe back to his leadership however isn’t seen as needy even though it does take some effort to do. Effortless effort in a way. 

Edited December 11, 2021 by Lyubov