Dressing style

[Ingit]

i seriously sucks at dress up style..... I have poor cloth choicing...how can I develop a good dressing style... I think that nothing suits on me well...I want to be good at that but every time end up picking bad clothes...and lowering my confidence

[Terell Kirby]

Avoiding baggy clothing at all costs .. try to get fitted where you can.

This is the most attractive style in a woman's eyes.

Shoes are important, never walk around with busted shoes.

Also, purchase the latest mens fashion magazines (I'm assuming you are a guy) as reference.

[Ingit]

@Terell Kirby thanks buddy

[Rilles]

Style its not something you can learn intellectually, you have to be intuitively good at seeing symmetry, simplicity and color balance. A lack of these usually makes someone not stylish, of course there will be exceptions though. 

[Ingit]

@Rilles I usually go to the stores but As soon as i get there I don't know what to do.... 

[Terell Kirby]

6 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Style its not something you can learn intellectually, you have to be intuitively good at seeing symmetry, simplicity and color balance.

This is true, but if you are a beginner - then you'll have to play copy-cat with the latest trends.

Once you get good at it, then you can begin to mix and match existing style with items that are more personal to you in finding your own unique look.

[Ingit]

@Terell Kirby how should I start

[Rilles]

11 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

This is true, but if you are a beginner - then you'll have to play copy-cat with the latest trends.

Once you get good at it, then you can begin to mix and match existing style with items that are more personal to you in finding your own unique look.

Of course, Im just talking about the foundational level, you dont have to be dressed like a peacock to impress a girl, you just need to not look like you just stepped out of the basement with your cargo shorts on.  

Edited December 9, 2021 by Rilles

[Nos7algiK]

Wear what you personally find attractive, not what you believe other's will find attractive. Being authentic is one of the most attractive qualities we can express. You will feel more comfortable while wearing clothes you enjoy and so you will feel more confident as well, thus making you more attractive naturally.

By following trends (unless you honestly really enjoy the trend) you fall into the trap of becoming someone you aren't. You will only attract others who enjoy the mask you are wearing and not the "real" you.

Though I will say there is a baseline we all should try to follow of just being hygienic, clean, and within the legal constraints of what we are able to wear but none of those qualities take much thought to achieve.

Edited December 9, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Terell Kirby]

3 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Wear what you personally find attractive, not what you believe other's will find attractive.

This mindset will not work if the goal is to attract women. If you’re not trying to be attractive to women, then wear whatever the hell you want.

It’a all about what you desire .. and taking the necessary steps to obtain it.

[Nos7algiK]

Just now, Terell Kirby said:

This mindset will not work if the goal is to attract women. If you’re not trying to be attractive to women, then wear whatever the hell you want.

It’a all about what you desire .. and taking the necessary steps to obtain it.

Yes, yes it will attract women lol. Do not underestimate the power of being authentic. Once achieved attracting others becomes child's play. It's as easy as breathing.

[Rilles]

3 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Yes, yes it will attract women lol. Do not underestimate the power of being authentic. Once achieved attracting others becomes child's play. It's as easy as breathing.

Its important to feel good in your clothing, dont wear a suit if its not you, but also you cant wear whatever you like because you have to work within the existing social matrix. If you can combine authenticity with social matrix youre home.

Clothing is the first thing someone criticizes before you have even said a word. 

Edited December 9, 2021 by Rilles

[Terell Kirby]

1 minute ago, Nos7algiK said:

Do not underestimate the power of being authentic.

What’s authentic to the OP is his desire to attract women through improving his style. He has the right to do that. “Shallow” pursuits can be just as authentic for someone given where they are in life. I see a lot of users on this forum attacking this .. mainly because they suppress their sexual cravings and giving those that seek to satisfy them a hard time.

[Nos7algiK]

2 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

What’s authentic to the OP is his desire to attract women through improving his style. He has the right to do that. “Shallow” pursuits can be just as authentic for someone given where they are in life. I see a lot of users on this forum attacking this .. mainly because they suppress their sexual cravings and giving those that seek to satisfy them a hard time.

What are you on? Attacking who? This is literally my advice I'd give anyone on the topic. Neither of us can state what is authentic to OP. Only you are calling it shallow. "Be yourself" is universally applied to almost all subjects. But, there is a great philosophical ideology on what being authentic actually means.

My personal view on it is something much deeper inside of us outside of what the social matrix has created for us. But, on the other end it's impossible to not be ourselves in any situation.

If you want me to say it in a more practical way. My advice is don't allow the social matrix to control who you are, how you dress, or how you act (to a reasonable extent). Not because this is shallow, but because this can cause unneeded stress on the self and could potentially lead to us making decisions we feel uncomfortable with which in turn could manifest negative results in our life.

[Terell Kirby]

1 minute ago, Nos7algiK said:

If you want me to say it in a more practical way. My advice is don't allow the social matrix to control who you are, how you dress, or how you act (to a reasonable extent).

Human attraction is a part of the social matrix lol. Survival itself is a part of the social matrix.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are somehow above the social matrix…I mean, you are interacting with other humans on the forum aren’t you?

If you’re a human, you have base cravings..and most will get satisfied through playing the social matrix game. Everyone does it dude.

[Nos7algiK]

Just now, Terell Kirby said:

Human attraction is a part of the social matrix lol. Survival itself is a part of the social matrix.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are somehow above the social matrix…I mean, you are interacting with other humans on the forum aren’t you?

If you’re a human, you have base cravings..and most will get satisfied through playing the social matrix game. Everyone does it dude.

There is no fooling yourself to think one is above anything. But, this is a self-actualization forum. Part of this process is the realization that we are not "that". To realize that we are choosing to identify with what we perceive to be outside ourselves rather than there being some type of quantum algorithm that controls us like puppets called the social matrix.

I'm not telling OP he shouldn't try to attract others. I'm stating to OP that finding who you are inside and expressing your own authentic self with out feeling the need to impress others due to certain variables society is expressing is indeed the most attractive quality out there. There is more than just becoming attractive that being authentic comes with as well. But, that isn't relevant here.

This issue is being authentic threatens this whole attractive game that so many play. It could never be so simple, eh? As someone who's been on both sides of what we are talking about. It is indeed that simple and people who say this aren't just bs'ing you. But, becoming that authentic person is the difficult part. Again, this is a self-actualization forum and becoming this is part of that process.

[Ingit]

32 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Wear what you personally find attractive, not what you believe other's will find attractive. Being authentic is one of the most attractive qualities we can express. You will feel more comfortable while wearing clothes you enjoy and so you will feel more confident as well, thus making you more attractive naturally.

By following trends (unless you honestly really enjoy the trend) you fall into the trap of becoming someone you aren't. You will only attract others who enjoy the mask you are wearing and not the "real" you.

Though I will say there is a baseline we all should try to follow of just being hygienic, clean, and within the legal constraints of what we are able to wear but none of those qualities take much thought to achieve.

?? great thanks.... Yes you r right I feel more confident when I dress the way I feel comfortable in.... but I need some more clothing cuz I am wearing the same clothes on and on again....

 

21 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

What’s authentic to the OP is his desire to attract women through improving his style. He has the right to do that. “Shallow” pursuits can be just as authentic for someone given where they are in life. I see a lot of users on this forum attacking this .. mainly because they suppress their sexual cravings and giving those that seek to satisfy them a hard time.

Yes U r right too.... I want to upgrade my style but also the boundaries in which I feel Comfortable and confident

[JosephKnecht]

1 hour ago, Ingit said:

i seriously sucks at dress up style..... I have poor cloth choicing...how can I develop a good dressing style... I think that nothing suits on me well...I want to be good at that but every time end up picking bad clothes...and lowering my confidence

Go shopping for clothes with women or gay guys who have a good sense of style. 

[Ingit]

2 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

I'm not telling OP he shouldn't try to attract others. I'm stating to OP that finding who you are inside and expressing your own authentic self with out feeling the need to impress others due to certain variables society is expressing is indeed the most attractive quality out there. There is more than just becoming attractive that being authentic comes with as well. But, that isn't relevant here.
 

Exactly 100%.... I often feel pressurized. To act the way society wants to see me.... it is always challenging. To expose ur authentic self.... I often fail

[something_else]

You can pay someone to come up with styles that fit your body. Like a style consultant. I'd imagine the price varies per location but there's one near me that charges I think around £150 for a set of style recommendations tailored exactly to your body type and preferences. For a little bit extra they even go and buy you some new outfits. 

I'd have a look into that option, but make sure they have some decent credentials. Like £150 (~$200) and you could potentially get some style advice and recommendations that pay dividends for the rest of your life.

I haven't done this yet but I'm considering it

Edited December 9, 2021 by something_else