How pointless would it be to document my journey on YouTube?

[iboughtleosbooklist]

My thinking is maybe a "future" self of mine will watch it and there'll be the smallest amount of meaning to be gleamed from this avatar.

I love YouTube, I really do, I loved the awakening process until infinity was realized, then I had like 2 weeks of almost unbearable aloneness feeling, which eventually subsided once I cried for my parents to come home from their holiday to look after me.

Since then I've had bouts of "this is heaven" to "this is a sick cosmic joke".

But thankfully the sensations of utter hopelessness has not been as bad as those 2 weeks. It's still hopeless, but it seems okay. The thought of infinity doesn't really trigger any bad sensations now, I just feel empty, with this pressure in my forehead.

It's ultimately not my choice whether I document this or not. Maybe we are living in a prophecy and it's the end times. I have no idea. At the very least it's entertaining.

[Thought Art]

It's up to you. I personally found it distracting and made my analyze myself in a neurotic way and took away from my work. But it may work for you.

[Tim R]

Maybe try a journal? 

[SQAAD]

@iboughtleosbooklist

On 09/12/2021 at 0:47 PM, iboughtleosbooklist said:

My thinking is maybe a "future" self of mine will watch it and there'll be the smallest amount of meaning to be gleamed from this avatar.

I love YouTube, I really do, I loved the awakening process until infinity was realized, then I had like 2 weeks of almost unbearable aloneness feeling, which eventually subsided once I cried for my parents to come home from their holiday to look after me.

Since then I've had bouts of "this is heaven" to "this is a sick cosmic joke".

But thankfully the sensations of utter hopelessness has not been as bad as those 2 weeks. It's still hopeless, but it seems okay. The thought of infinity doesn't really trigger any bad sensations now, I just feel empty, with this pressure in my forehead.

It's ultimately not my choice whether I document this or not. Maybe we are living in a prophecy and it's the end times. I have no idea. At the very least it's entertaining.

I have recorded videos of myself every day for 10 months straight. It's definitely worth it. You notice certain patterns that you wouldn't notice otherwise and you gain life changing insights. Recording your self is a form of self observation. 

[Nahm]

If you do, appropriately entitle it “my thinking”, as not to be misleading.

Infinity=love. If you pop ‘love’ into each place you’ve used the word ‘infinity’, it’ll help you see & realize the judgement you’re employing. The relevance being noticing how you’re recreating the discord over & over with a claim outside of your own direct experience. 

@SQAAD

Genius usage of a camera. ?? 

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

@SQAAD

Genius usage of a camera. ?? 

Thank you bro. ?