Feel a bit guilty I’m lazy at work

[Lyubov]

Basically I am not very passionate about my work (exam preparatory work). I don’t put in the most outstanding and attentive effort I could. I find the work boring and not very rewarding. I’m somewhat lazy with it. I don’t do a horrible job, I’m doing okay. Some clients I put in more effort because they are willing to work harder. I feel I am being lazy though and cutting corners at times and it makes me feel like a cheat. It pays alright and provides me some freedom however and I currently don’t have an opportunity to switch to something I’m passionate about (working on it though). Still, I feel a bit bad that I’m not giving it 100% and feel a bit like a cheat, but I’m also emotionally drained nor motivated to do a better job. I think the root solution is to transition to a new career. In the mean time I think pushing myself to do a better job while I transition will make me feel better than having tiny holes poked in my integrity. Anyone here ever have passionless work that made them feel lazy and a bit guilty? 

[Terell Kirby]

@Lyubov The only thing you should feel guilty about is not making an effort to find a better job.

[Lyubov]

6 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

@Lyubov The only thing you should feel guilty about is not making an effort to find a better job.

I mean you have a point. My discipline has been a bit lacking recently. I think I’m doing a disservice to myself not putting more effort into transitioning to my life purpose. I’m sort of spread out though with other areas of life so it makes it hard to really go all in and transition. 

Edited December 7, 2021 by Lyubov

[ZenRising]

For me, it's essential that my work is something I'm genuinely passionate about... it's just far too big a part of my life for me to be dedicating so much time to something that doesn't really enthuse me... 

On 07/12/2021 at 6:01 PM, Lyubov said:

My discipline has been a bit lacking recently. 

Again, only speaking for myself, but self-discipline, while important, can only carry me so far... i can't force myself to work hard at something I don't love for any meaningful length of time... the energetic state of tension is just not sustainable... so self-discipline has it's uses, but only genuine passion can really fuel and drive me in a sustainable way...

[universe]

I'd advice on looking into yourself and finding where this feeling of guilt or feeling like a cheat is coming from. Why is it there and what does it want to make you notice.

Then I'd take a deep look into my options to make the desired career change.

[flume]

I can relate a little, yeah. I think it's ok to acknowledge to yourself that you don't enjoy your work that much (anymore). It's super important though to work on something you're passionate about, or on a career switch. So you know you have a way out. I personally solve it by having "work" days and "creative" days, where I work on my own things. 

I mean hey, you're not alone. Only 11% of working people really enjoy their jobs. 

Maybe you can find something you enjoy about it though. Or a way to make it more enjoyable for you. I remember working at a bakery for a few months and I didn't really enjoy the work in and of itself. But I saw it as an opportunity to analyse people's moods from day to day. I built a connection. I was at awe seeing what a smile could do to people. Or what not getting their favourite sandwich does to them. Breathtaking psychological studies you can conduct in a bakery, I'm telling you.

Then I found this video later, and realised, this is what I did. Maybe it helps you too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsJiznzUJGM&t=96s

[flowboy]

@Lyubov   I didn't always feel like this when I still had my dayjob, but I can tell you, some days I felt so, so guilty for not performing well.

I knew I could do better, but I felt like I dropped the ball, taking too long breaks, watching videos instead of working at times.

This guilt would build up and make it even harder to do the work properly, because I put more pressure on myself, and that caused anxiety.

Yes, finding something you're more passionate about is probably the true solution, but here's a short term fix.

What helpt me, was honesty.

I bottled up all this guilt for not working as hard as I could. Until one day, my girlfriend advised me to just confess.

I told my coworker: "I've actually been unfocused all day and not done much of anything. I feel guilty and ashamed"

He responded with compassion and empathy, telling me performance is a cycle with ups and downs, and to take care of myself.

Feeling lighter, I told my team lead. He accepted it too.

My slate was clean.

 

Here's how I think this applies to your situation:

I think you can regain some energy by practicing some honesty with your clients.

You gave an important clue:

On 07/12/2021 at 4:58 PM, Lyubov said:

Some clients I put in more effort because they are willing to work harder

You can tell them. "I love helping people that are willing to work hard. That motivates me to put in even more effort for you. We are doing this together."

And you can tell the others: "I notice that you haven't been willing to work as hard as I think you can. That makes me feel less motivated to help you. How we can turn this around, is if you actually give it your all. I know you can do better"

Another way to make it more interesting to you, is to explore with them why they are not willing to work so hard, and then coach them a bit.

I believe motivation is a natural state. You only have to find what is blocking someone, and remove that, and their natural motivation will come back.

Edited December 19, 2021 by flowboy