being easily annoyed

[PurpleTree]

Didn't know where to put this as i don't look at it as "serious emotional problems"

But i'm pretty easily annoyed especially at people who i find inconsiderate. For example these days people not wearing their mask in public transport.

Putting their feet/shoes on seats in public transport being very loud etc.

Electronic gadgets, taxes, paper work all of that stuff can easily annoy me.

And many other things.

I just get this uncomfortable feeling in my gut and some other bodily sensations which i'm explaining as being annoyed

On the other hand some things don't annoy me at all. For example if my food falls on the floor, or a plate, or i was working at a nursery/old peoples home for a bit and some of the workers/nurses etc. there were annoyed at some of the older people but they didn't annoy me at all because i see that they're in pain when they lash out and so on.

 

Any theories on where this annoyance comes from and how to deal with it? Could it come from a lot of suppressed anger as a kid and so on?

 

[aetheroar]

It’s judgement based on a belief that others should hold the same values as you. The discomfort comes from the knowing that the belief isn’t warranted. Use these moments to reflect on the fact that others were simply not subjected to the same values as you, that they actually don’t know any better because they can only do what they were conditioned to do.

If they feel fully accepted by you instead of judged, the feeling of acceptance opens them up. In this openness, they may feel better in life and eventually come to their own conclusions about how to live it rather than relying on their conditioning. This can only occur if they feel like they are deserving of acceptance, and they can only feel deserving of acceptance by being accepted.

Keep in mind that your resistance to their conditioning will actually have the opposite effect and make them feel like they need to cling even more to it.

Loving you 

[PurpleTree]

10 minutes ago, aetheroar said:

It’s judgement based on a belief that others should hold the same values as you. The discomfort comes from the knowing that the belief isn’t warranted. Use these moments to reflect on the fact that others were simply not subjected to the same values as you, that they actually don’t know any better because they can only do what they were conditioned to do.

If they feel fully accepted by you instead of judged, the feeling of acceptance opens them up. In this openness, they may feel better in life and eventually come to their own conclusions about how to live it rather than relying on their conditioning. This can only occur if they feel like they are deserving of acceptance, and they can only feel deserving of acceptance by being accepted.

Keep in mind that your resistance to their conditioning will actually have the opposite effect and make them feel like they need to cling even more to it.

Loving you 

Not sure if i think they should hold the same values. Because i can talk to right wingers and left wingers i don't care what their views and values are.

I just start to care when it's affecting me or others. For example if you put your dirty shoes on the seat in public transport, then i sit on it and then my pants are dirty. I just want to tell them to take their smelly feet from those seats but i don't do it because i think it would be petty in some ways and could also end in a fight or argument, so i just get annoyed everyday for little stupid things. But i feel because nobody speaks up for those things i'll eventually maybe have to do it.

 

Love you too though

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by PurpleTree

[PurpleTree]

also wonder sometimes if this "annoyance" comes from un underlying gut issue.

because having an inflamed gut and being annoyed etc. feel similar to me.

or if it's the other way around and being annoyed and angry as a kid is what caused a gut issue.

[RickyFitts]

This thread's amusing to me because I've been thinking a lot just recently about starting a thread on just this subject (it's doubly funny to me because I also wasn't sure which subforum to put it in, it really doesn't seem to qualify as a serious emotional problem). Because I do sometimes find myself feeling very irritable about things that seem really trivial, and it frustrates me (as an example, and I know this probably sounds really daft, but the sound of liquid being poured into a receptacle really irritates the hell out of me sometimes, I'm not sure why).

Anyway, what I've found in my own experience is that there tends to be a lot of upset and even grief underneath feelings of intense anger, and it's that underlying upset that needs to be felt in order to let go of the surface anger, I feel; we humans tend to get caught in that surface negativity, though, so it can be extremely challenging to allow that inner resistance to relax and to allow the arising of the more vulnerable feelings underneath it. Body-centred practices like breathwork and yoga can be tremendously helpful in that respect I think, they can help the body to relax and then gradually release what it's been holding on to. Though it can also be challenging to ride the waves of emotion when they do start to arise.

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

In the same way compassion is naturally deployed for the cotton heads in pain, allow yourself to feel that same goodness of compassion for those still ignorant of conscientiousness.

If the gut issue is now, what’s inflaming it also now. It is inflamed by discordant thoughts, which can not be digested. There is much momentum at this point, which is to say there are some discordant thought(s) which are now beliefs, making it harder to spot & resolve. 

How are conscientiousness, anger, and irritation all related when you think of your childhood? What arises as the most prominent event or happening?  Maybe someone thought a bit more about themself than you / the family, and spent there time as such?

Any thoughts about your future not working out, something wanted but not possible for you? 

[mandyjw]

Do you ever feel like you're taking up space, out of place, don't belong, or worry a lot about inconveniencing people?

[BlackMaze]

It's your pain body. If it happens often you have more opportunities to practice recognizing it and letting it go by remembering that you are the observer of what is happening. 

[PurpleTree]

28 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

This thread's amusing to me because I've been thinking a lot just recently about starting a thread on just this subject (it's doubly funny to me because I also wasn't sure which subforum to put it in, it really doesn't seem to qualify as a serious emotional problem). Because I do sometimes find myself feeling very irritable about things that seem really trivial, and it frustrates me (as an example, and I know this probably sounds really daft, but the sound of liquid being poured into a receptacle really irritates the hell out of me sometimes, I'm not sure why).

Anyway, what I've found in my own experience is that there tends to be a lot of upset and even grief underneath feelings of intense anger, and it's that underlying upset that needs to be felt in order to let go of the surface anger, I feel; we humans tend to get caught in that surface negativity, though, so it can be extremely challenging to allow that inner resistance to relax and to allow the arising of the more vulnerable feelings underneath it. Body-centred practices like breathwork and yoga can be tremendously helpful in that respect I think, they can help the body to relax and then gradually release what it's been holding on to. Though it can also be challenging to ride the waves of emotion when they do start to arise.

Yea thanks, i've been wanting to get into yoga for a while now. this could be another reason to do it.

Maybe we're just more sensitive to sounds, feelings etc. so we get annoyed/irritated more easily than others in some ways.

And then we think, nooo i'm on the spiritual path and shouldn't even be getting annoyed by this dumb stuff, which causes further stress

 

24 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@PurpleTree

In the same way compassion is naturally deployed for the cotton heads in pain, allow yourself to feel that same goodness of compassion for those still ignorant of conscientiousness.

If the gut issue is now, what’s inflaming it also now. It is inflamed by discordant thoughts, which can not be digested. There is much momentum at this point, which is to say there are some discordant thought(s) which are now beliefs, making it harder to spot & resolve. 

How are conscientiousness, anger, and irritation all related when you think of your childhood? What arises as the most prominent event or happening?  Maybe someone thought a bit more about themself than you / the family, and spent there time as such?

Any thoughts about your future not working out, something wanted but not possible for you? 

I try, often it doesn't work to be compassionate, or then it just becomes an obsessive back and forth like compassion/anger/compassion/anger/obsessive thought loops->>>>>.   sometimes it works though.

i don't know about conscientiousness, people always told me that i am pretty conscientious or maybe i developed that at a certain age.

frustration was probably the biggest, just being frustrated and didn't know how to deal with my feelings. and starting to suppress feelings such as anger

also now just being often frustrated with this social anxiety, toxic shame and so on. It's frustrating because it feels like i could do everything i'd want if weren't often blocked by those things. I've always been kind of scared a bit of the future as a kid never thought i'd make to this age.

13 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Do you ever feel like you're taking up space, out of place, don't belong, or worry a lot about inconveniencing people?

oh yes

11 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

It's your pain body. If it happens often you have more opportunities to practice recognizing it and letting it go by remembering that you are the observer of what is happening. 

it seems like the "letting go" part of it is not really working great thus far, but we'll see how it goes

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by PurpleTree

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, PurpleTree said:

oh yes

You're actually jealous of them for feeling like, KNOWING, that they belong where they are. You are worthy of being where you are. You are free to be yourself. At all times. 

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

You're actually jealous of them for feeling like, KNOWING, that they belong where they are. You are worthy of being where you are. You are free to be yourself. At all times. 

so it's not a problem if people walk on the street, maybe they step in poo, put their feet on the seat and you sit on it?

or if people don't wear masks in public transport and spread omicron?

shouldn't anybody say something about it? would you say anything if somebody puts their shoes on your car seat or chair at home?

and that's just small examples of inconsiderateness ^^ 

 

that being said, there is probably some jealousy involved for people who don't feel social anxiety, confidence issues etc.

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

What stands to be let go of, belief wise, is social anxiety, toxicity, and shame. Those are concepts, but you (in one way or another) believe those are what you’re feeling. This is conditioning. Those concepts are learned, and did not come from you. They have nothing to do with you, only to do with your beliefs. Therein lies the confusion.

In understanding which emotions you are experiencing, those concepts literally disappear to the extent you’d actually struggle to remember the experience of believing in them. 

Compassion is conceptual. Anger is an emotion. Compassion/anger/compassion/anger is therefore not a thought loop. It’s a thought (being compassionate) triggering an emotion (anger). 

I agree there is some unacknowledged jealousy at play. If I believed in social anxiety, toxicity and shame, and did not understand what is actual so to speak, as in the emotions I’m experiencing, other people would piss me off too, and I wouldn’t know why. But it would be because they don’t hold those beliefs, and I don’t want to anymore either. 

[aetheroar]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

Not sure if i think they should hold the same values. Because i can talk to right wingers and left wingers i don't care what their views and values are.

I just start to care when it's affecting me or others. For example if you put your dirty shoes on the seat in public transport, then i sit on it and then my pants are dirty. I just want to tell them to take their smelly feet from those seats but i don't do it because i think it would be petty in some ways and could also end in a fight or argument, so i just get annoyed everyday for little stupid things. But i feel because nobody speaks up for those things i'll eventually maybe have to do it.

 

Love you too though

 

For example:

Your values lead you to believe that smelly feet don’t belong on the seat. This is also connected to your value of thinking you should be keeping your clothes clean. If these beliefs are mirrored in the environment, you don’t get annoyed. If the environment does not mirror these values, you get upset.

They value comfort in the same way that you do, but their idea of what that looks like is different due to different values. They possibly grew up in a house where shoes don’t get taken off and tossing their feet up on the couch or chair is totally acceptable. That’s what comfort looks like for them.

If they weren’t allowed to do that, they would suffer from the same annoyance as you do, so the collective suffering is actually the same until the one suffering decides to drop their resistance for the comfort of all involved. This could be you, or you could ask them to be the one to change their viewpoint, but this will be recurrent until the root in your beliefs is cut.

I find it easier to accept the perfection of this understanding over asking someone else to change. At the peak of this understanding you can find comfort in any situation.

Notice that the only difference between the feet and the old people is that you’ve found it in yourself to accept the old people, probably because they’re old 

Appreciate the reciprocated love. Seeing you and accepting you as well! If you truly want to end your annoyances, I believe it will happen!

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

It would make sense that when alone, and not around anyone who doesn’t share my beliefs, I wouldn’t feel the discord of the beliefs. Then around anyone who doesn’t hold the same beliefs, I would feel my beliefs arising more intensely. When experiencing jealousy, the beliefs, specifically the limiting aspect of said beliefs, would be felt very significantly.  It would seem as if I was uniquely more sensitive than other people. But this could be interpreted as a clue, of what I could inspect & let go. 

When you experience someone who is so focused on what they want and what they are passionately creating & experiencing in their life… that they truly don’t even care if they sit in some dirt or get coughed on, would this be especially frustrating / irritating? 

[mandyjw]

7 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

so it's not a problem if people walk on the street, maybe they step in poo, put their feet on the seat and you sit on it?

Who pooped on the street? Why aren't I blaming the person who pooped on the street? Maybe the gut microbiome boost from the poop will help with the omnicron. Why am I blaming the antimasker? What about the bat that had COVID and spread it? What about the ________(some country's) government? What if omnicron turns out to be far milder than delta and it somehow ends up being beneficial over harmful? If you can overthink germs, I can overthink germs too. But that's not what we're trying to accomplish here.  

Should everyone be uptight and uncomfortable all the time? There's a balance, there's no point that's a perfect balance so people disagree all the time of where that balance is. I wear masks most of the time because that feels like the right choice, I respect other people because that feels good, I wash my hands because that feels right, and I can not care what someone thinks of my choice to put my feet up and relax because that feels good. That's your right. 

Do I want people to be uncomfortable and uptight or do I want them to be relaxed? Do I like being around people who are uncomfortable or uptight or do I enjoy people who are relaxed and having fun? Do I prefer to be anxious or relaxed? Can I be considerate of others AND enjoy myself where I am? 

[Username]

I'm getting annoyed easily if my body is tense (trapped energy). It's better to be easily annoyed than being apathetic, in comparison this is higher consciousness state 

If your case is similar to mine, there are two ways you can solve. First is to investigate why certain things are annoying. Another way is releasing and making your energy  circulate smoothly (stretching, breathworks, meditation, walking). If you can control your mind it becomes unimportant what kind of thoughts are arising because it is easy to let them go.

[PurpleTree]

40 minutes ago, aetheroar said:

For example:

Your values lead you to believe that smelly feet don’t belong on the seat. This is also connected to your value of thinking you should be keeping your clothes clean.

who wants poo on their clothings though?

also at home we didn't really have rules for shoes, it just seems disrespectful to other people etc. in a way i guess i want society to be much better and people to be more respectful but i see it imo decaying everyday which causes stress probably.

40 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@PurpleTree

When you experience someone who is so focused on what they want and what they are passionately creating & experiencing in their life… that they truly don’t even care if they sit in some dirt or get coughed on, would this be especially frustrating / irritating? 

if i see people who are creating stuff i get a bit jealous, because i'd like to do that. but if someone sits in dirt i don't get irritated as long as they don't put that dirt on places me and society has to also sit.

but i also get annoyed at non social things like taxes, excel, maths, electronics etc. so how does that fit into the picture?

27 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Who pooped on the street?

dogs and cats

 

you're right i don't want to be stressed and uptight all the time but i also don't want society to "decay too much"(for the lack of a better term), there i need to find the balance between speaking up and acceptance.

 

16 minutes ago, Username said:

I'm getting annoyed easily if my body is tense (trapped energy). It's better to be easily annoyed than being apathetic, in comparison this is higher consciousness state 

If your case is similar to mine, there are two ways you can solve. First is to investigate why certain things are annoying. Another way is releasing and making your energy  circulate smoothly (stretching, breathworks, meditation, walking). If you can control your mind it becomes unimportant what kind of thoughts are arising because it is easy to let them go.

thanks. yea i do often think the gut is a big piece of the puzzle for me. for example a last week i ate some thai curry which was mildly hot.

it irritated my gut which made me feel irritable and tense for a pretty long time. it then becomes a cycle and then i get triggered even more easily.

and trying to relax the gut and back, neck can help

Edited December 7, 2021 by PurpleTree

[Nahm]

34 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

if i see people who are creating stuff i get a bit jealous, because i'd like to do that. but if someone sits in dirt i don't get irritated as long as they don't put that dirt on places me and society has to also sit.

but i also get annoyed at non social things like taxes, excel, maths, electronics etc. so how does that fit into the picture?

It’s a subtle non-acceptance of what is, or, somewhere in the neighborhood of wanting, desiring, needing, expecting, or waiting for things and others, experience in general, to be other than it is, so you can feel better / be at peace. Inspiration begins at peace (contentment).  It sounds crazy initially, but none of what you’re feeling is because of anyone else.

This is to vibrationally hold oneself at…

34 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

i see it imo decaying everyday which causes stress probably.

…pessimism. It’s the outlooks / interpretations which are stressful, not the world, others, or society. I know it likely seems like it is, I get it. But I’m suggesting there’s more to it. Or, far less to it really.

I’ve experienced, (not all at once ?) multiple people shitting & pissing on my living room floor, someone literally pissing on my face lol, someone throwing my remote control through the screen of my brand new 70 inch tv, someone breaking my favorite thing, a guitar that took years to afford, and someone sticking their finger (nail) directly into the center of my eye, splitting my cornea in half, causing 4 days of intense pain while having to remain motionless in total darkness. That’s just off the top of my head.  

I laughed and loved through all of it. But if you were sitting next to me on that bus, you’d probably assume I think like you, and that all of that stuff is unacceptable. You’re probably thinking I’m full of shit on that loving & laughing. Before it gets too weird, I should also mention these people are my kids. I feel that you might be underestimating & under-appreciating the power of compassion, love, lightheartedness & and awareness of impermanence. If so, it all starts with non-aversion. 

34 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

but i also get annoyed at non social things like taxes, excel, maths, electronics etc. so how does that fit into the picture?

Hanging around in pessimism is resistance to experiencing boredom. So it seems like the discordant feeling is coming from or related to the electronics, while in truth it’s because they are utilized as distraction, aversion from feeling, receiving, and understanding emotion.

As an example, annoyed is not an emotion or feeling. It’s a self referential thought. It feels discordant, because you’re actually unconditional. You don’t need to know or realize that to feel the discord, evidenced by that you are feeling the discord. There is only to not distract, to not avert, and to understand the emotions as guidance in creating. There are not-too-hard-to-find videos about this kind of stuff. ?

[PurpleTree]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

It’s a subtle non-acceptance of what is, or, somewhere in the neighborhood of wanting, desiring, needing, expecting, or waiting for things and others, experience in general, to be other than it is, so you can feel better / be at peace. It sounds crazy initially, but one of what you’re feeling is because of anyone else.

This is to vibrationally hold oneself at…

…pessimism. It’s the outlooks / interpretations which are stressful, not the world, others, or society. I know it likely seems like it is, I get it. But I’m suggesting there’s more to it. Or, far less to it really.

I’ve experienced, (not all at once ?) multiple people shitting & pissing on my living room floor, someone literally pissing on my face lol, someone throwing my remote control through the screen of my brand new 70 inch tv, someone breaking my favorite thing, a guitar that took years to afford, and someone sticking their finger (nail) directly into the center of my eye, splitting my cornea in half, causing 4 days of intense pain while having to remain motionless in total darkness. That’s just off the top of my head.  

I laughed and loved through all of it. But if you were sitting next to me on that bus, you’d probably assume I think like you, and that all of that stuff is unacceptable. You’re probably thinking I’m full of shit on that loving & laughing. Before it gets too weird, I should also mention these people are my kids. I feel that you might be underestimating & under-appreciating the power of compassion, love, lightheartedness & and awareness of impermanence. 

Hanging around in pessimism is resistance to experiencing boredom. So it seems like the discordant feeling is coming from or related to the electronics, while in truth it’s because they are utilize as distraction, aversion from understanding emotions.

As an example, annoyed is not an emotion or feeling. It’s a self referential thought. It feels discordant, because you’re actually unconditional. You don’t need to know or realize that to feel the discord, evidenced by that you are feeling the discord. There is only to not distract, to not avert, and to understand the emotions as guidance in creating. 

 

 

I also don't think i would have a huge problem with my kids doing that, the same way i'm very patient with old people. PurpleTree also shat on peoples floor as a small kid. one time me and a friend smeared a whole wall with our poop when we were 2 or 3.

they're not grown, they're not in their right senses and so on, no harm done. (i think, i'm not sure how i'd act)

but it's different imo with disrespectful adult "healthy" people, they should know better, also they're the people keeping society going, not kids or oldtimers (although who knows how healthy they are and besides that they know not what they do, lord forgive them)

but yea i'm like different people inside me fighting. 

One person is a lunatic suffering artists, one person is Jesus and loves and forgives almost everything, oneness with the universe and so on. One person is Hitler and sees enemies and horrible people everywhere, one is a hurt child and and probably many more

hare Krishna

[Nahm]

@PurpleTree

Age is also a belief, we are all your kids, it’s within your power to forgive us all. If you’re not ‘there’ yet, that’s perfect too.  

Disrespect is a self referential concept. By self referential, I mean a thought or concept about a separate self  (‘I’m pretty easily annoyed’) which isn’t true. By belief I mean a thought, repeatedly given attention, which seems true, but isn’t and never was. Belief is tricky, because it definitely seems true when believed. In believing, one be leaving One, the ‘true self’, so to speak. Which is of course why ‘the true self’ is referred to as, the truth. 

Self Inquire /inspect the belief / thought… who is disrespected? Who is annoyed? 

‘Shoulds’ are major energy zappers. Everyone should be exactly as they are, evidenced by, that they are exactly as they are. Notice the theme, the subtle non-acceptance of what is, the subtle projection of emotion / feeling experienced, onto others as at fault.             

Get all those ‘people’ together, to celebrate life. ??