Is fear of infinity still a problem once one has fully awakened?

[iboughtleosbooklist]

It's driving me crazy because it's the inescapable truth which I tried to escape by dreaming that I was a finite human.

Now I so so want everything to be ok, but it's just not is it? There's no seperation, everything is relative, and it never ends. 

I had a cessation and I hope that leads somewhere, but it's always just now, forever. Me pretending to be around other conscious humans until I fool myself that I'm mortal again, then the emptiness is replaced by the suffering of being a person disguised as love. Maybe I should just get a dog.

If I'm just being a fucking idiot please tell me. I can't even sleep anymore the tension in my forehead is always there, (is it kundalini?) It's eternally hopeless and can never be accepted. Unless I'm wrong, fingers crossed, but there's no doer either so wtf... unless I'm missing something.

 

[Mosess]

Infinity will always be a problem

you realized it

acceptance is key

Edited December 6, 2021 by Mosess

[iboughtleosbooklist]

Yeah because it will always always always come back. I wonder how many times I've posted these exact words. The only solution is to temporarily forget by fooling myself with brains and science. 

Or I could change characters? But how? I'm starting to see the beauty in impermanence because it would mean my current life is short and therefore I should cherish my avatar and the other avatars and this particular universe. I could be a girl in the next life. I could be born on Mars in the year 3000. But can you see how I'm still resisting the "what is". We'll of course I am, I'm a creative being. I'm infinite I can never be satisfied. I want to explore infinitely. I want to sleep around and pretend there is separation, or pretend I'm fucking myself in a different life. Why the fuck would I get attached to this village and watching my parents get old, when I could be doing something fun. But it's not my choice. Surrender making me feel like such a cuck. I don't want to hurt my parents. I want to love them but I am just so bored of them. But I need them to survive. I hate this cold UK winter, I hate COVID, I hate infinity. 

[SonataAllegro]

17 minutes ago, iboughtleosbooklist said:

Maybe I should just get a dog.

Yes, get a dog.

[Mosess]

 

your tricking your self again

[Mosess]

there is no way to accept it, you just do it

How?

Find a way

How stupid of me;

You are already trying to find a way, arent you?

you know exactly how to find "the way", you are just distracting yourself in a very smart way right fucking now.

The way is not by asking

 

 

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by Mosess

[RMQualtrough]

You didn't try to escape by dreaming you're a human. Infinity necessitates this. It's natural like any element of nature, not thought out and planned... There is no choice in infinity. This is where will cuts two ways, as seemingly does everything.

[Nahm]

If what is meant by ‘being a fucking idiot’ is feeling the discord of beliefs, and adding the belief cessation happened, then yeah, with love, that is what’s being experienced. 

The end of a cup is the recognition cup is a thought and is not perception. 

The end of fear is the recognition fear is a thought and is not sensation. 

You refute the guidance like my kid might refute the parental guidance of ‘don’t put your hand on that stove, it’s still hot’. 
(It’s an analogy, I do not mean you’re childish in any way)

You insist on continually checking that stove. That stove is analogous to ‘your’ discordant belief. The opposite is cessation. 

 

Spend time meditating, expressing, and experiencing a variety of hands on healing modalities. (Vs reinforcing the ‘problem’ / belief). Get ‘your’ focus on other stuff. Stuff which is about well being, the feeling of alignment. 

When discordant belief is held so long that momentum of the conflict (discord felt) between the belief and the guidance felt reaches a point where it affects your sleep - it is time to listen my friend. 

Replace any of the words ‘sleep’, ‘infinity’, ‘fear’ and ‘awakening’ with the word me in your op. Repeat a few times in different varieties for the win. 

Everything you are saying, wether this is realized and clear or not, amounts to shit talking about yourself, and expecting to still somehow know & feel the unconditional love that you are. Wisdom is effortlessly letting the conditions go, allowing the cork to float. Be wise. 

[Guest EmptyVase]

14 hours ago, iboughtleosbooklist said:

Now I so so want everything to be ok

One of the most beautiful realizations is that it always was.

Everything is okay. The emotions you're experiencing are confirming this. Nop, no contradiction (only thoughts contradict each other). They are an indicator of how much you've 'moved away' from your inner being. The worse you feel, the more your inner being is telling you, "This ain't it, stop digging this hole".

 

[Zeroguy]

Love denies fear. 

Infinite Love =zero fear. 

My advice to Leo. No need to go anymore there. To bring more goodness care about your health too. 

It is the same.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Terell Kirby]

Transcending fear doesn't mean it goes away .. through understanding it, you learn to love it .. therefore not needing it to be removed from your experience.

[WelcometoReality]

@iboughtleosbooklist When death's been experienced what is left to fear?

Fully awakened never happens though. ?