Can't make my current GF cum, feeling bad about it

[Value]

I watched Leo's videos about sex a while back and applied it with my previous GF's with good results, nothing like the 5-10 orgasms per night he is talking about but they got to cum at least 1 and sometimes 2 or 3 times per night. But with my current GF I haven't been able to make her cum even once in our 4 months of knowing each other.

What I have noticed is that she doesn't seem to follow my lead in the foreplay, and she won't relax and let me touch her / lick her for very long. I have tried many things but I can't seem to make her relax in the foreplay.

Any tips? I really feel bad about this atm to be honest.

[Raze]

Try beyond mars and Venus by john Gray 

[The Lucid Dreamer]

Take some mushroom before having sex. You will be able to keep going until she achieves orgasm, because mushrooms make it very difficult to finish, yet make you more horny. And it will make the sex more enjoyable for you. ;P

Though you may have to thrust faster too.  
 

I should add, however, that some women do not orgasm easily, and many sexually active women have never achieved orgasm, so if she just happens to be one of those people, then you shouldn’t feel bad.

Edited December 5, 2021 by The Lucid Dreamer

[mandyjw]

Let her own her own pleasure. Feeling bad about it and trying to make something happen isn't a turn on. If you enjoy yourself, the moment and the connection and pleasure you do have, it will invite her to do the same. 

[Yarco]

She's probably too self-conscious and in her own head to enjoy it.

She might be self-conscious about her body, maybe letting her stay partially covered or turning the lights off will help.

Some women have also basically been told by society that vaginas are dirty and gross and have that to overcome.

If you're doing the "how to make a girl squirt" vid technique then you'll have to re-assure her that it's normal to feel like she's going to pee and that she isn't, or she'll be too tense to orgasm.

It might be nothing about you... just thinking about work, too stressed, too tired.

I've found that the passion dying over time in a relationship is a real thing too. Early on in my current relationship the sex was wild, I'd Leo's technique and make my gf cum about 5 or 6 times back-to-back casually before going out to dinner. Early in a relationship your body is releasing all the feel-good chemicals and the attraction is crazy. But eventually you stop fucking like animals

[soos_mite_ah]

What does she have to say about this? 

[4201]

Focus on making her feel good and not the orgasm count. If you are stressed out about not giving her an orgasm she can probably feel that stress and feels bad for not having her orgasm easily. Sex is not about the orgasms, it's about the feeling. Be at ease, enjoy the moment and she will likely enjoy it too.

Leo loves to brag about how many orgasms he gives to women and that idea had an impact on me too on my first time. My girlfriend really didn't understand why I was trying so hard to give her so many orgasms on our first night. But in the end it's really more of an ego thing and my girlfriend really doesn't care about cumming multiple times.

But as soos_mite_ah asks, it depends a lot on what she thinks too. Our experiences differ since we are different people. What does your girlfriend want?

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by 4201

[Terell Kirby]

She may not be attracted to you for whatever reason. That loss of attraction could be related to how you are showing up in the relationship as a whole, and it manifest in the form of her not being turned on in the bedroom.

The hardest thing in the world is getting a woman to admit if she’s not that into you (they tend to not want to hurt feelings). Start by asking high quality questions on how she feels about the relationship and your future together.

Remember: women are attracted to sweet men, but also men of strength. She cannot ever love you fully if she doesn’t respect you as a man who can lead himself .. thus being able to lead her .. in and outside of the bedroom.

[Leo Gura]

Sounds like this is a her-problem. She's probably sexually repressed.

With that said, if this doesn't make her cum, nothing will:

https://amzn.to/3ImypmW

That will make a normal girl cum in 10 seconds.

[soos_mite_ah]

33 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Sounds like this is a her-problem. She's probably sexually repressed.

I mean, there are multiple reasons as to why a woman might have issues with finishing that doesn't have to do with repression or body image issues. For instance, I know birth control and hormonal fluctuations can play a role as well. 

But yeah, ask her about what her goals and needs are sexually and what kind of dynamics she's into and go from there. 

[Raze]

Is she low estrogen?

[Value]

Thanks for the input guys. Some additional points:

The relationship overall is good. We both love each other a lot. The sex over all is actually good as well with us connecting well emotionally and enjoying it.

The thing about stressing out over orgasm count can def be a real issue but not really something I'm doing when sleeing with her. If I did, I would have been stressing out about it every night for months on end.

Still, it doesn't feel right that she is not getting to cum. She is often at work until really late (9-10 hours sometimes) and stresses out about it a lot. Also I noticed she currently has no regular activities or social circles except from hanging with me, in the new city we live in. Could that be the problem?

I haven't talked to her about this because I don't want to put pressure on her, and because the sex overall is still good.

Thanks.

[Value]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sounds like this is a her-problem. She's probably sexually repressed.

With that said, if this doesn't make her cum, nothing will:

https://amzn.to/3ImypmW

That will make a normal girl cum in 10 seconds.

If so, you have any tips on what might be some good steps to take?

[Leo Gura]

54 minutes ago, Value said:

If so, you have any tips on what might be some good steps to take?

You'd have to dig into her past and figure out what's wrong with her. Perhaps religious upbringing or sexual abuse. Lost of girls have been sexually abused and they will hide it from you.

Find out what kind of orgasms she's had and how she had them. Force her to get detailed here.

In general, you gotta lead her hard. Lead her into trusting you, relaxing very deeply with you, and ultimately surrendering to you. Lead her into a profound surrender.

Buy that toy and vibe her clit off. If that doesn't work, find yourself a new girl.

Life is too short for sex with girls who are too uptight to cum multiple times.

[Value]

@Leo Gura Ok, thanks for the tips. 

Let me point out, she doesn't seem particularly sexually repressed. She is comfortable with dirty talk, touching me, going down on me and has had many sexual partners in the past. 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Value said:

@Leo Gura Ok, thanks for the tips. 

Let me point out, she doesn't seem particularly sexually repressed. She is comfortable with dirty talk, touching me, going down on me and has had many sexual partners in the past. 

Well, obviously something is missing. There's something you don't know. Figure out what that is by cleverly asking questions.

[4201]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You'd have to dig into her past and figure out what's wrong with her. 

Find out what kind of orgasms she's had and how she had them. Force her to get detailed here.

This is extremely needy and dysfunctional.

Everyone is identified with their trauma. What you are describing is trying to eliminate someone's trauma for your own benefit. "I don't like you the way you are, please change." Best way to destroy your relationship imo

I would rather advise to stop needing her to be different. Either accept her the way she is fully or leave her. I would find it silly to leave someone over something like this but hey if you have that much attachment to multiple orgasms you do you. Trying to change someone is a recipe for disaster. The best way you can help someone grow is to love them the way they are and let them grow at their own pace. No amount of pressure, forcing or neediness will accelerate someone's growth.

The strategy here is to just make it stop bothering you so you can move on. It will be much easier for her to talk about it openly and figure it out herself if you apply no pressure onto her. 

[mandyjw]

I guess that's why they're called numbers. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, 4201 said:

What you are describing is trying to eliminate someone's trauma for your own benefit.

Dude, you think this girl is happy not cumming? Please...

He's part of this relationship too. It's pathetic for a man to not be able to make his girl cum. What kind of relationship is that? It's a bad situation and she should be taking responsibility for this nonsense because it is fixable. Acting like a poor victim is not a solution.

Yeah, trauma spoils relationships and should be worked on for the benefit of both parties.

[Value]

@Leo Gura Spot on what I am feeling.