After the approach - When I have the number

[ValiantSalvatore]

I approached two girls I know the number is not quite high, although basically I received my first number and I have similar issues when it comes to online-dating inital attraction is great, yet there is no real way of me then getting her to meet up again. Online it's just getting the number currently. There are multiple things that go into consideration.

• Text her instantly create some fun (advanced)
• Text her next day set up meeting (beginner)
• Start doing stuff with her and let the number just sit there because you know the girl is most likely in to doing smth.
• Did not tell her my name
• She replied to me once

So, basically what can I do after I receive her number the conversations just seem to end? I just thought about not thinking to much and acting which was a mistake in a sense since my skill level is not at a subconscious integration part. 

Now, basically chat summarization/detail:

• Me: What's up XOYX? How was club XYZ yesterday ??
• (after 1h)
• She: Hey not much, club XYZ yesterday was nice
• Me: Haha at least the people started dancing on the pole
• Me: Let's meet via zoom.
• Me: When do you have time?
• (after 3h) 
• Me: Btw, my name is XYZ ?
• (after 4h)
• She: sorry I am quite busy and I generally do not like to meet via that way at all.
• Me: KK

She just replied 1 minute ago with the last message, I do have an issue with being assertive and not being in a business like mode. 

There are so many more chats, yet currently I can't find the right way to do this stuff. Many don't like zoom and corona does limit some options and I would like it if a women can take me out of my logical mind a bit since otherwise I'd meditate, workout or engage in some activity. Yet, no idea if this is just fantasy.

No idea what to reply, if one if you guys is fast enough and has experience it would be nice if he/she more he please my lord. Save this conversation because I am just at my end here for now.

 

[Leo Gura]

Ideal text game is bare to the bone.

Don't bullshit over text. Use texts to set up dates.

1) "How was your night?"

2) "Let's grab some drinks soon."

3) "What days are you free?"

If she is not agreeing to drinks, your in-person game was not solid enough and nothing you do by text will change that. She is simply not attracted.

60%+ of your numbers will flake. Get used to it.

If you get her number from online, suggest grabbing drinks within 3-4 texts. If she doesn't bite then she's full of shit so just move on to the next girl.

What you must realize is that you don't need any fancy text game to get her to agree to drinks. She's just not serious enough or attracted enough. Next.

You should be getting dozens of numbers so no number matters. Do not fixate on any one number. Numbers are cheap and mean little. A pro will only close 1 in 10 numbers. This is the best case scenario after a decade of game. Noobs will do much worse.

[undeather]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Ideal text game is bare to the bone.

Don't bullshit over text. Use texts to set up dates.

1) "How was your night?"

2) "Let's grab some drinks soon."

3) "What days are you free?"

If she is not agreeing to drinks, your in-person game was not solid enough and nothing you do by text will change that. She is simply not attracted.

60%+ of your numbers will flake. Get used to it.

As someone who was a pickup instructor in his ealy 20's I am actually pretty amazed by the quality of your dating advice.
There is so much bullshit out there, but this is actually legit. 

Rare to see someone who actually put in the work,

 

[Leo Gura]

To have solid numbers you must basically seed and set up the date logistics in-person before you get her number.

Stop just asking for number. Set up the date in-person. Obviously doesn't work for online.

Texting to find out her logistics is notoriously hit or miss. Mostly miss. Find it all out in-person where she cannot stall you.

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Leo Gura Thanks I thought about suggestings drinks and offered coffee now, she was just not interested after the first message I presume. I am chatting right now from a date that does not show up online.  I am texting other girls. She declined told me she has no time, so basically I messed up attraction. 

Also, thanks for emotional support she was quite hot. I knew the number meant nothing and I was pissed at my friend and me having to do all the work as usual because of casual trash. Even if he get's more girls online. 

I don't know I delete all the fake women now from my online profiles I am tired of this attention seeking back and forth shit. 
-------

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

To have solid numbers you must basically seed and set up the date logistics in-person before you get her number.

Stop just asking for number. Set up the date in-person. Obviously doesn't work for online.

Texting to find out her logistics is notoriously hit or miss. Mostly miss. Find it all out in-person where she cannot stall you.

I even did subconsciously because I asked her if she is from this area. So, she was not disinclined for dancing etc. I was just pissed that I have to constantly deal with this insane paradoxes and nobody really is there and my friend complaining about music and me having to dance with an injury my friend completely dismissing that it affects me.

The point is also I am more of a magician I knew she was a student I knew she lived her I knew she was busy I knew she wanted to go out and have fun, yet I just did not engage in a fun activity with her on the spot, this is what I mean with I am tired of this city to constantly do all of this stuff alone feels like I am a maniac. Also just not very good wingmanship....


 

[ValiantSalvatore]

She replied now I don't know whish me luck for the date positively. I'll contact her in a couple of min.

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Leo Gura Leo I hate this dating thing.

[Leo Gura]

@ValiantSalvatore You have to be detached from any particular number/interaction/date. Lower your investment to near zero. You are getting too invested.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oLNXJqSRyU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuvK9BjSO6o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZebLs6v7o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gttOMTOuJBM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mByptEwm4VM

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Leo Gura That is true I wanted more numbers to let go of the investment part. Your advice is gold I can let things be open and be assertive this is what I really like instead of this extrem macho let's do it mentallity. Other girls replied, I could have initiated marriage yesterday without sex till after marriage. I was a bit mind-blown self-sabotage is insane as well as religous cults. I am also through the entire OkCupid base right now. I'll apply lessons now to Tinder etc. Other plans.

@Raze

Thanks I bought a course from the og David DeAngelo, where also Neil Strauss/Styles is in for online dating. I am going through it for the third time as recommended for online dating. I learned more about text game from online dating, yet this example was offline related. I'll really cut this down I do have quite high standards. I checked out the links the short ones are really good exactly what I was looking for. I'll rewatch them and take some notes + action on them soonish.

[flowboy]

The only relevant piece of information here is: you only had 1 number.

If going out and meeting 5 girls gets you 1 number, then next time meet 20 so you get 4.

The next day, do the same so you have 8.

You don't need more courses, you need more experience.

Real success is boring.

Edited December 9, 2021 by flowboy

[Leo Gura]

Practically speaking, most of your lays will simply come from collecting a lot of numbers and working them like a machine.

You should aim for 5-10 numbers per night.

[ValiantSalvatore]

I'll go out on saturday most likely and see aim for 5-10 numbers although it's not going to be ease with low amount of volume of people. 

I am actively creating my dream life, yet some of the social stuff like racism etc. really holds you back if you are the only one who is bi-racial/black etc.(the great constructions ....)  It really is an issue.