Parents arent tracking

[funkychunkymonkey]

ill try to keep this short and sweet, those of you who maybe remember me from my posts. i had a life of my own my own place n all fucked it up with two arrests had to move back in with my parents to pay off lawyer debts. This brings us to the present, im self actualizing doing enlightenment work, meditating, contemplating. and im starting to get some dark knight of the soul type stuff where i have been lashing out which isnt like me im a total sweetheart, few relapses on alcohol. and i have tried to explain to my parents that this shits gonna happen hey just gotta let me ride through it till i turn into a butterfly type bit. but now they are up my ass about i need to see a psychiatrist. ive explained to them and offered them to read some of my books that explain this stuff but of course they dont read it. idk i feel im losing my mind and im getting a strong sense of wanting to alienate. would love to hear some of your guy's opinions on these matters and if your going thru this too i love you your not alone thanks guys love ya! 

[Tim R]

17 hours ago, funkychunkymonkey said:

had to move back in with my parents to pay off lawyer debts

@funkychunkymonkey I strongly suggest you take care of this first instead of trying to become enlightened... There's a time for spirituality. And there's a time for paying off lawyer debts. Guess which comes first. 

[funkychunkymonkey]

@Tim R :[ thanks for being blunt w me kinda needed that 

 

[Tim R]

@funkychunkymonkey By the way, that's not to say that you can't meditate or do Yoga or whatever, just don't use it for spiritual bypassing. You know?

[funkychunkymonkey]

@Tim R of course, my entire paycheck goes to them anyways but pretty much the rest of the time i dont work i just watch leo play games or do yoga n meditate ur message told me maybe i should take the time now and put more focus into my personal life 

[happyhappy]

haha@funkychunkymonkey same here!!! my parents think the same and do not understand this shit even though they are pretty liberal....

i'm on the same journey bro.!! keep it up!

[funkychunkymonkey]

@happyhappy :] thank you friend! im here for ya  

[Adodd]

@funkychunkymonkey see if they will negotiate. Talk therapist instead of psychiatrist. Talk therapy gets a bad reputation but it really is helpful for helping figure stuff out. Especially when strugglong with relapse. Worth a shot right? Might help YOU out and get them off your ass.

[funkychunkymonkey]

@Adodd well put i mean im already in out patient services staying clean n all its the little annoyances and outbursts i have been having and dark side of meditation side effects my parents are calling me crazy for 

[kieranperez]

On 12/5/2021 at 6:49 AM, funkychunkymonkey said:

i have been lashing out which isnt like me im a total sweetheart, few relapses on alcohol. and i have tried to explain to my parents that this shits gonna happen hey just gotta let me ride through it till i turn into a butterfly type bit. but now they are up my ass about i need to see a psychiatrist. ive explained to them and offered them to read some of my books that explain this stuff but of course they dont read it. idk i feel im losing my mind and im getting a strong sense of wanting to alienate.

All of these are major red flags. You need therapy. 

[Nahm]

Much, much love. It can get rough. Both the path & the forthcoming suggestions. 

Be accountable & apologize instead of justifying the behaviors that you desire to change. Spend more time understanding the emotions you’re experiencing and why, and less time on youtube & playing video games. 

Don’t cover up the outbursts with unintelligible uncommunicative conceptualizations like ‘the dark night’ & ‘the dark side of meditation’. Inspect & understand what you’re actually experiencing.

Practices are for your life, emotional & physiological well being, communion and relationships, and are not “enlightenment work”. Lashing out at people is not ‘just something that happens when someone is on the path to enlightenment’, it’s lashing out at people. Express instead. 

Let go of the self referential belief you’re a total sweetheart, so you can more so see your behaviors and the effects on others.

Your parents don’t care about your books or your enlightenment, they care about you, your well being, and their own well being. They are not ‘up your ass’, they are involved because you are involving them. Let go of the ‘other worldly’ jargon and communicate in regular human earth terms. 

‘This shits gonna happen’ is not turning into a butterfly, it’s denial & justifying the behaviors that you yourself do not desire to perpetuate. Justification perpetuates. 

Don’t alienate, do the opposite, go to the therapy and the psychiatrist, and take full advantage of every resource available to you. 

Wishing you the absolute best. ?? 

This is a video on dispelling / seeing through (and not feeding into) the dark night. 

Get good with your source. Give your folks a break. 

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

@Nahm dam, thanks :] much love

[Nahm]

@funkychunkymonkey

Much love my friend. I know shits hard, it’ll pass, it’ll get easier. Hang in there. Understanding is key. Anything I can do to help out, you know how to hunt me down. ?

Also, if you don’t already have one, adopt some kind of creative outlet. Writing, painting, carving, singing, anything creative. What you create, as in the quality of it, or how good you are at it doesn’t matter. The, as an outlet part matters. Helps it all along, and get’s you more & more in touch with the creator you are. ❤️‍?

[funkychunkymonkey]

thank all of you, lol now its much clearer much love to u all ego is a lil hurt but now i can grow