im from dallas - want to move to another country/place

[ryangold]

usa sucks

the culture

ADD

I need peace... harmony... tranquility... ascension... 

i want love

i've fucked over 100 women

its time for me to rethink my life plan

i need more meaning

i wish i never left my 5th girlfriend, i was so deeply in love

she's now married and happy #Someone-Like-You-Adele

im no longer in love with her though

i don't know what this journal is going to be, i don't even know what im doing here

after that i just drowned myself in 'sex'... now its difficult for me to maintain intimacy with a woman for long periods coz of that desensitization

lost, seeking to find myself more

i just feel so fucking misunderstood

i need healing

maybe something will click here i don't know

ill explore my path here

Edited December 5, 2021 by ryangold

[ryangold]

adele has an amazing voice, she's got so much inside of her

i love singers, artists, thinkers

these kinds of people

i want try and become an artist (art, music, etc) my body is my art, im getting a new tattoo soon i might do show and tell

i read a lot, i think a lot too. i know its easy for thoughts to get lost in translation in this ^ADD world though

im a pretty sentimental guy that goes by the feel of things mostly

that's me, #ryan-is-my-middle-name (gold is my actual last name)

 

[ryangold]

stupid bitch old lady scratched my car today as she was reversing, going to sue her, blames it all on alzheirmers

why  r we letting old people drive then?

throw them all off the road I wish we just let covid take them all out 

let the younger generations take over

[ryangold]

only reason i didn't punch her in the face was because she's a woman

last guy that touched my car i put in the hospital. Paid him off. Deserved it won't tell whole story and worth every penny.

[ryangold]

I still feel so ashamed for what I've written above 

I'm going to keep it there for transparency 

To rise above the illusion of other peoples perceptions of me

To take more responsibility over my life and my recent tragedies

Thank you to @lxlichael you're lifting me up out of graveyard

Just get back to me as much as you can no pressure, you're a much better writer than me I'm going to work on getting my thoughts out there more spending so much time being lazy on the keyboard

Your message super inspired me, to be a part of a community that cares so much about how one anothers progression seems like a real tough ideal to reach with all the egos but I love it dude

What can we do to create a better world, a better culture?

I usually never think of this stuff man but its awesome, I want all of that to just infect me

Edited December 13, 2021 by ryangold