I have a cancer test in January. How can I mentally prepare for it?

[Preety_India]

I have anxiety around medical issues.. I get hyper anxious if the doctor mentions something.

I have been assigned a cancer test for the month of January and I'm getting extremely anxious about it everyday. I just can't sleep. I can't let go. I feel neurotic. I'm in my 20s.

I already did a cancer test back in 2019 and it was negative. 

This is because my mom had cancer (something like cervical cancer and she underwent a surgery and she recovered successfully) 

Most likely the test is going to be negative. But the doctor wants me to do these tests just in case so that I'm always aware beforehand like a safety precaution. 

But every time they assign me a test, I recoil back in fear. I don't like a hospital environment. It reignites my trauma because I was a child when I saw my father in a hospital struggling for life. 

I try to stay away from the whole hospital medical thingy. It always gets me super nervous just approaching a medical building. 

I also have a fear of doctors. I see a doctor and his apron and I feel very nervous. 

How can I mentally prepare for the cancer test? 

For the same reason I suffered nightmares about Covid. 

I was afraid of Covid because I didn't want to be in a hospital.

At some point it was okay for me to die from Covid but it wasn't okay to be in a hospital. 

 

 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

At this point I'm just praying that my medical problems go away.. 

I'm a bit lazy around it, I confess. 

 

I know that I'm not sounding logical and practical. I get super nervous. 

 

 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[MuadDib]

I had a false positive cancer diagnosis when I was younger and I have some trauma around that whole experience as well. When I go for yearly checkups I remind myself that death is a gift and my anxiety about it drops away. The body is just a makeshift shelter from eternity and infinity. 

[Preety_India]

@MuadDib that definitely makes me feel a bit better. I'll keep it in my mind when I go for the test. Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot. 

 

 

 

[Michael569]

Is the test cervical smear? In UK, women are asked to take one every 3 years. In my home country, it is an annual screening and every woman past certain age is recommended to attend.

I wouldn't call it a "cancer test". Just say "I have a routine screening", may already help your mind relax. It is the same type of routine scan as mammography or prostate exam. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Michael569 not yet decided what test it's going to be. They will tell me in January. 

 

[Loving Radiance]

@Preety_India I can describe what suggestion first came up before reading the past situation with your father:

1. Visualize going there and coming out with the result of having just a few weeks left to live. Feel your body. Let go of any thoughts about a dying body. Feel your body in this moment.
2. Then visualize going there, coming out the hospital with the result of no cancer and a good feeling of being free and ready to conquer the world. Feel your body again. Feel what the thought activates in your body.
3. Feel that you are ok no matter the outcome. It's not forcing it but looking for a perspective or state of being that has both outcomes be ok.

However, I expect that just visualizing it will retraumatize you because mentally you are still in the hospital with your struggling father. How do you feel about the visualization when you only read about it?

Processing this trauma seems to me like an area where you are going to have the most growth from and feel the most liberated. And it's not about the check-up itself, it's just the location. Associate hospitals with feeling good. I think there are NLP methods for that.

I also want to mention that processing is better done with a trauma & PTSD-informed psych.

[Preety_India]

@Loving Radiance thank you so much for the helpful information.