I have long struggled with partys and social settings (clubs, partys etc)

[Thought Art]

What are some tips for getting better at socializing at social events or loud places where groups of people drink and laugh and dance. I was at a staff party tonight and it was a lot of fun, fancy etc... I work in a pretty upper class environment.

I did dance, and I socialized with my table but I would have liked to walk up to other tables and just start talking to people but I felt like that was too awkward and scary. That I wanted to sit down, but also deeply wanted to just sit by myself.

The server was super cute... I felt like I could have made more eye contact with her. I could tell she was attracted to me. I was with her as well aha.

I have long noticed that at the end of a social party I can often feel a deep loneliness, awkwardness and out of placeness. It's a total illusion I think if I just let go and flowed. I am fun, likeable and attractive but... This has long been a sticking point.

Tips or questions?

(edited)

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[Leo Gura]

Go out and approach.

[Thought Art]

@Leo Gura Obviously. Okay thanks.

That is probably the best advice.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[DIDego]

@Thought Art Your'e an Empath ❤

[Thought Art]

Thought Art hits the town

 

[bloomer]

@Leo Gura

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Go out and approach.

What if I end up like this guy?

[Leo Gura]

Dude, this is so dumb.

Stop consuming this fear porn. That's all that is.

I told a girl at the bar that my friend and I have herpes and that since we are such generous guys, we would be happy to share it with her. That was my opener. She told me that I am unusually friendly for a Russian (she was part Russian too). I told her that she is gullible and that if I was a rapist I would take her to my rape van. I told her I am taking her to church to confess all her sins. She asked, which church. I said, the one that molests the most children. She was an attourney. I asked her if contracts make her wet. I told her I will have my attourney draft up some contracts for her. I told her to give me her fax number so I can fax her a black and white pixelated dick pic. She said she actually had a fax number. She gave me her biz card. She asked me what I do. I said I scrub toilets at Taco Bell and that I would scrub the shit out of her toilet. When I said that, I said it like I was talking about fucking her pussy out. She said, Perfect. I told her I am Asian from the waist down and that her ass was too much for me and that she needs a black dude for that ass. But that luckily I am actually black from the waist down. She said, Perfect. She asked for me to take her number. Finally she gave me permission to squeeze her giant tits in front of her friend.

I told another girl: "Damn, you have a nice body. I want to sell you into sexual slavery, like I did my mother." She giggled but that one blew me out. She still left laughing. It's hard to make that line hook because it's so purposefully outrageous. Still, I like to see how far I can push my verbals.

Be a fucking man. But be socially calibrated and non-creepy. This was all said in a cool and calibrated way.

I am not saying you noobs should go that far. But if you think you can't go that far with a girl all into it, you don't understand girls. I am telling you this so you understand what extremes are possible and that you are nowhere near the edge.

On the other hand, the fear in your eyes alone is enough to creep a girl out. It's not what you say but how you say it.

[Thought Art]

Is that article real? Why not just educate the young man.

This Jamie guy isn't as innocent potentially as the above article makes it out to be... 

https://asdaddy.com/2019/10/25/fake-news-how-much-can-you-trust/

Sounds like he was grabbing booties in the area not just one girl he awkwardly tried to make friends with.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[universe]

5 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I have these fears.

What happens if you get hit by a car? What happens if you die falling down the stairs?

Everything can happen.

He touched her without saying anything to her, like twice.

If you feel better don't touch her during the day. It is not even needed in the first 15 minutes.

On the other hand, if you never learn this and stay shy your entire life, your chance of becoming like this guy are much higher.

[Thought Art]

@universe Yeah but his sentence is a little over kill. 

With risks like that Id rather just stay home.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[universe]

3 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@universe Yeah but his sentence is a little over kill. 

With risks like that Id rather just stay home.

Im sure it's gonna turn out great.

[Thought Art]

@universe Yeah, I think it'll be fine...

 

[Thought Art]

I am alive so. I can't live in fear forever. I am working to escape these fears and just live boldly.

These fears of me too have been holding me back from my LP and have caused a lot of suffering in my life.

I find myself with these fears of 'what if I did something and don't know and get publicly accused and my life ruined'.

I just have to live my life. I will die one day...

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

53 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

On the other hand, the fear in your eyes alone is enough to creep a girl out.

It's something I can work on. I can go slowly, dip my toe in and develop the skill over a couple years.

[Leo Gura]

17 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

It's something I can work on. I can go slowly, dip my toe in and develop the skill over a couple years.

Start with old lady clerks at the mall. Look them in the fucking eye when you talk to them.

[Thought Art]

@Leo Gura Good idea. 
 

also,  I will do one or two approach nights a month starting a month or two from now. There is pretty good night life in my city, though it’s medium sized. 
 

I think your pickup lines are more for a city like Vegas but, I’ll find what works here.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Be a fucking man. But be socially calibrated and non-creepy. This was all said in a cool and calibrated way.

 

Exactly, I think the problem we nebiews face is that at first we are not socially calibrated and can give a creep-vibe.

 I must confess first night of this year that I went gaming, the first set I approached, at one point in the conversation, which lasted maybe 30 seconds, one of the girls said "No, we are lesbians, we are going to do a trio now on our own". And I said to her in the most creepiest/serious tone "Oh, how that would look like" + creepiest look in the eyes HAHHAHHA (I was on a fucking microdose of Lsd so I was terrified/anxious inside more than usual but at the same time as "real" as I could ), when they started walking away, one of the girls of the set end up shouting me from far away "Pig!" or something like that Lol  . That first experiences until you get calibrated can be quite traumatizing. . Also  btw fuck psychedelics for doing game. Worst drug I could ever take for that. 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Javfly33

[Thought Art]

I think you should only approach sober

I don't fully understand your story but seems like you are gaining the important direct experience.

I did some more research on the article... Seems the article twisted the truth of what he was actually doing. He was grabbing women in that area... multiple women he would just run up and grab and run away. 

If you are approaching women with the intention of you two both enjoying the conversation, escalation etc and you are a man. You should be fine.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Thought Art

[Javfly33]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I think you should only approach sober

I don't fully understand your story but seems like you are gaining the important direct experience.

Yeah Definetely. Never again. Fucking hard night that was. 

[something_else]

3 hours ago, Thought Art said:

@universe Yeah but his sentence is a little over kill. 

With risks like that Id rather just stay home.

Jesus christ this is not the message to take. This shit doesn't happen in the real world unless you are like ultra creepy and persistent

In most cases I would bet this stuff happens after dudes get clear "not interested" signals and then keep touching the girl, which is definitely approaching sexual harassment.

If you can notice those signals and you're not totally fucked socially then you're not gonna have any legal troubles