Heart trouble

[Preety_India]

My most intimate journal. 

 

[Preety_India]

My dad died from cardiac arrest. He had a big heart, metaphorically and medically. 

Hmm. 

It does impact me every day. 

 

[Preety_India]

I woke up from an awful awful nightmare. 

In the dream I'm liked by a British guy whose name is Vincent. 

A lot of people thought that I was aggressive. And yes I was. 

There were a group of people who made fun of me. 

I tried hard to escape. 

My reality constantly blurring with fantasy. 

I see scenes in my dream. 

I think that I can escape Vincent. But I can't. 

Maybe Vincent is the reason why I died in my last birth. 

I tell Vincent compassionately that I don't wish to be a part of his plan. 

I run upstairs. Vincent follows me. He runs to me and grabs me by my arm. 

He is standing close to me not ready to let go 

I want him to know I'm independent. Yet I feel very fragile and unable to escape. 

End of the dream. 

 

[Preety_India]

I don't want to feel so negative.. 

[Preety_India]

I think the dream signified that I was unable to escape a terrible situation. I tried but I felt defeated.. 

[RickyFitts]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

I don't want to feel so negative.. 

The not wanting is also negativity, ironically. It's eminently understandable though - I know I for one can definitely relate, I struggled for a long time to let go of negativity (and boy, was I holding onto a lot of the stuff).

[Preety_India]

@RickyFitts how did you do it? 

Any advice or insight?

[RickyFitts]

@Preety_India Sorry for the delayed reply, darl, just seen your post now.

The thing that really helped for me personally was just to be very present in my body, to notice how the negativity manifests as physical tension and contraction, and to allow that inner resistance to relax. It took a lot of concerted effort, though, because those patterns and accompanying energetic blockages can be very deep-rooted, and there can be a lot of upset, fear, rage, etc., lurking underneath the resistance which can be really challenging to deal with if such feelings do start to arise. I found a formal meditation practice absolutely essential in my own experience (yoga also really helped when I was suffering with chronic anxiety).

[Preety_India]

@RickyFitts thanks. 

 

[Preety_India]

I woke up from a nightmare again. 

21 hours ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

*Puts a warm blanket over you and comforts you lovingly 

Everything’s going to be okay hun 

Im always here for you.

I love you my pineapple ❤️

Love you. I need all of those hugs. 

You're my pineapple Hehe. 

 

[RickyFitts]

@Preety_India You're welcome