Admitting: I am "different"...parallel reality. Utterly desperate. Anxious.

[Nadosa]

I recently found Bettinho Massaro talking about parallel realities, and I feel like I found what has made me feel so different from everyone around me.

I have one strong, and I mean very strong parallel reality going on, that makes it partially very hard to live, apart from when I am fully present, all falls into unison.

4 years ago I kinda was split into, idk, two personalities, one thought "it" died, and actually it always felt like strange for that part "to still be alive" after all this time. It is a fucking valid feeling which brings anxiety, because it FEELS like me, also depression, and a weird feeling of confusion at the same time. 

When Im fully present and conscious I can seem to realign everything into one (Me), but as soon as I ruminate about the past and stuff like that, this personality trait gets triggered. 

It leaves me confused about "who" is it that has written all the posts in the past and stuff like that, who is still alive.