Unbelievably lonely

[Seed]

I am so unbelievably lonely.

I find it so hard to connect with people, although others report I am good socially and popular.

I just feel so empty. It is hell.

Any tips? 

[ZenRising]

This is a bigger conversation than something that a few tips will help.. maybe you could explain your situations and what your experiencing a bit more?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs0vk092UN0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5YBd8m9prQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeQJw8AKOyw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkM6L-cvuho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl5SlahUrIM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC2ZiPfwf1M

 

Edited December 1, 2021 by Raze

[Loba]

I'm sorry to hear that, I know how it feels to be lonely, even amongst a crowd of people.
I think it is because people in this day and age lack connection.

[mandyjw]

I recently took a reiki class, and the reiki community here is very involved in the hospice organization, and they do a lot of volunteer work. Social skills are sort of a mute point in those circumstances, it challenges you to connect on a being level and cuts through our well worn robotic methods of communicating and connecting. Just an idea. You could also look into visiting people in nursing homes and sort of stare your fears in the face and give someone else company at the same time. 

Meditation, exercise, time in nature and creative pursuits and challenges are also great. When I'm in a creative flow I revel in being alone. Don't even give it any thought actually.

If all else fails, sending you a big hug. ?

[Leo Gura]

There's an inner game aspect and an outer game aspect to loneliness.

The inner game aspect is spiritual work, and just being happy alone.

The outer game aspect is actually going out and making new friends.

Burn the candle from both ends.

[Jacob Morres]

hmm what is it making it hard for you?

[Seed]

14 hours ago, ZenRising said:

This is a bigger conversation than something that a few tips will help.. maybe you could explain your situations and what your experiencing a bit more?

I am a mother to a 7 year old girl, I am currently at uni, one of the best in the country studying Counselling and Pyschotherapy (my passion), I am in a commited relationship, which lacks sexual intimacy and far from perfect, but by far good enough and full of love and connection.

I don't have tons of freinds, but a few very close ones that have stood the test of time.

I really don't know why I feel like this. 

I could socialise more, but this tends to make it worse as I feel very alien and also quite bored around most people. (Not on the same wavelength) 

I either connect with people so well it is like we have known eachother many lifetimes and time ceases to exist. Or I just feel I am going through the motions of converstion to be socially acceptable and polite. But inside my head, I cant stand it and feel incredibly lonely and isolated.

Hope this makes sense!

[Seed]

@mandyjw @Raze Amazing! I will look into the Reiki and thanks for the videos. 

 

 

[Seed]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There's an inner game aspect and an outer game aspect to loneliness.

The inner game aspect is spiritual work, and just being happy alone.

The outer game aspect is actually going out and making new friends.

Burn the candle from both ends.

This is bang on and great advice, but with parenting, working two jobs, uni and relationship. Where the fuck is the time? 

[Leo Gura]

If you feel lonely and you are in a relationship then something is really off.

[Seed]

@Leo Gura It's a long term relationship, bascially a marriage. We have been together 9 years. 

[Loving Radiance]

2 hours ago, Seed said:

I am in a commited relationship, which lacks sexual intimacy and far from perfect, but by far good enough and full of love and connection.

If sexual intimacy would be great, would there be something else that lacks in your relationship?

Have you addressed your feeling of lacking sexual intimacy with your partner?

[Seed]

7 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

hmm what is it making it hard for you?

I really don't know. 

[Seed]

38 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

If sexual intimacy would be great, would there be something else that lacks in your relationship?

Have you addressed your feeling of lacking sexual intimacy with your partner?

Perhaps, but I dont think so.

Yes, but atm it is just impossible as our daughter is always around and we are both working all the time etc. 

It is tough times as we lost our business due to Covid, so now working 4 jobs between us

Edited December 2, 2021 by Seed

[Seed]

I also forgot to mention I have recently been very poorly with Covid, it lead to pneomnia and I nearly died. On the recovery now but I think perhaps the weakness I feel is not helping in my resilience. 

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Seed said:

Perhaps, but I dont think so.

Yes, but atm it is just impossible as our daughter is always around and we are both working all the time etc. 

It is tought times as we lost our business due to Covid, so not working 4 jobs between us

You need to make time for building your relationship or it will collapse.

Take time off alone together away from your daughter.

[Loving Radiance]

27 minutes ago, Seed said:

I have recently been very poorly with Covid, it lead to pneomnia and I nearly died. On the recovery now but I think perhaps the weakness I feel is not helping in my resilience.

Take care of yourself <3

32 minutes ago, Seed said:

Yes, but atm it is just impossible as our daughter is always around and we are both working all the time etc. 

It is tought times as we lost our business due to Covid, so not working 4 jobs between us

You guys work 4 jobs each or total to make ends meet? Do you have free time? Could a close friend of yours or her grandparents take care of her while you guys can have a nice evening?

I mean even if it would work all out, it would take some time to come into mood after all these months (?) of being in serious work mode. If you can clear an evening for you two, you don't have to pressure yourself to do anything, just let things happen & unfold. And relax.

Edited December 2, 2021 by Loving Radiance

[Seed]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You need to make time for building your relationship or it will collapse.

Take time off alone together away from your daughter.

We want to do this when we have the money... but atm, we just dont have any disposable income. Even 4 jobs between is a fraction of what we were making pre pandemic. I am also at uni.

We plan to reopen and rebuild and when that is done and we are earning a salary that alllowd holidays again, we will be able to spend more time together.

My parents will not look after her as they are always 'too busy'. 

It is very, very hard, and with a kid, she has to come first. 

[Seed]

9 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Take care of yourself <3

You guys work 4 jobs each or total to make ends meet? Do you have free time? Could a close friend of yours or her grandparents take care of her while you guys can have a nice evening?

I mean even if it would work all out, it would take some time to come into mood after all these months (?) of being in serious work mode. If you can clear an evening for you two, you don't have to pressure yourself to do anything, just let things happen & unfold. And relax.

Yes this is true, and I also feel so tired and weak still as only just recovering from Covid pneumonia.