Would a random girl basically ask me to go too a bar with her if she wasn't into me?

[subterfuge]

I was out cold approaching on Sat night. Hadn't had any luck so decided to go home. Ordered my cab in the cab rank and spotted a pretty girl sitting down also waiting for her cab. 

 

I said hi to her and we chatted for a bit, and then she more or less said we should cancel our cabs and go get a drink together/

 

 I thought this was a home run! Pretty stranger wanting to go for a drink with me.

 

However, after we get to the bar and get a drink and chat a bit, as soon as I attempt to slowly escalate, she stops me in my tracks and tells me she has a boyfriend.

 

I think soon after that she more or less drifted away but I was left scratching me head lol.

 

Not sure if I screwed up somehow, or whether I never actually stood a shot. Would a girl ask a random guy to go too a bar with her late at night if she wasn't into him or just had zero intentions of hooking up? Maybe i read too much into it lol

 

Keep thinking about it yesterday and a bit frustrated

Edited November 29, 2021 by subterfuge

[Lyubov]

You're over thinking it. Yes, this sometimes happens. If she wants some company and wants to just chat cause she's out alone that night for whatever reason. You can pick up on those vibes sometimes or sometimes you just have to find out. I think you did the right thing going with the flow and finding out if she was into you or not though. 

[hyruga]

You did the right thing going with the flow and bringing her to the bar for drinks. But you were not good enough. She sensed you are creepy and lusting for sex so she left.

Stop those red bill bs. Time to eat your blue pill and be a white knight again.

[Leo Gura]

Sometimes girls will use you to entertain themselves when they feel lonely or sad or bored.

Screen them out quick with physical escalation and sexual intent.

[subterfuge]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Sometimes girls will use you to entertain themselves when they feel lonely or sad or bored.

Screen them out quick with physical escalation and sexual intent.

thanks. Yes, that's more or less what happened so I guess in theory I didn't do anything wrong, but have this nagging feeling that a girl would only ask a random guy to go too a bar with her at midnight if she was looking to hook up which would make it my fault

 

 

[hyruga]

20 minutes ago, subterfuge said:

thanks. Yes, that's more or less what happened so I guess in theory I didn't do anything wrong, but have this nagging feeling that a girl would only ask a random guy to go too a bar with her at midnight if she was looking to hook up which would make it my fault

 

 

That's because you are boring. Doesn't mean she says go to a bar means you must go to that bar. You can always do something else.

[subterfuge]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

You're over thinking it. Yes, this sometimes happens. If she wants some company and wants to just chat cause she's out alone that night for whatever reason. You can pick up on those vibes sometimes or sometimes you just have to find out. I think you did the right thing going with the flow and finding out if she was into you or not though. 

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

You're over thinking it. Yes, this sometimes happens. If she wants some company and wants to just chat cause she's out alone that night for whatever reason. You can pick up on those vibes sometimes or sometimes you just have to find out. I think you did the right thing going with the flow and finding out if she was into you or not though. 

thanks. I guess I just read too much into it. I mistook her friendliness for attraction. I feel ok now and know I didn't do anything wrong.

Cheers

[Danioover9000]

@hyruga

1 hour ago, hyruga said:

You did the right thing going with the flow and bringing her to the bar for drinks. But you were not good enough. She sensed you are creepy and lusting for sex so she left.

Stop those red bill bs. Time to eat your blue pill and be a white knight again.

   Wait, how do you know OP was being creepy? That's a serious assumption you're making about OP.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, subterfuge said:

have this nagging feeling that a girl would only ask a random guy to go too a bar with her at midnight if she was looking to hook up

Like I said, girls will use you to entertain them, with no intention of hooking up.

I went on a date with a girl once who had a boyfriend. She was just bored and lonely cause her bf was out of town. She wouldn't sleep with me but she made out with me.

It's not uncommon for a girl to use you to pump up her state and have fun, but then announce she has a bf once things start getting heavy.

She wants to keep her bf and have fun.

[hyruga]

56 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@hyruga

   Wait, how do you know OP was being creepy? That's a serious assumption you're making about OP.

Aren't you also making the serious assumption that he is NOT creepy?

[Value]

@Leo Gura how common is this type of medium level infidelity among GFs? Should I worry about it?

[Leo Gura]

27 minutes ago, Value said:

@Leo Gura how common is this type of medium level infidelity among GFs? Should I worry about it?

I don't know. I'm not a statistician.

If you bring a lot of value and you date quality girls, it shouldn't be a problem.

[Lyubov]

3 hours ago, subterfuge said:

thanks. I guess I just read too much into it. I mistook her friendliness for attraction. I feel ok now and know I didn't do anything wrong.

Cheers

Nah, you did everything right actually. You escalated which is also a form of screening. A lot of guys getting into pick up think it’s magic and you are in complete control and can get any woman depending how good you are. No. A big part of it is making your move and screening for those that are down in the first place and knowing when to fold it when you come across those playing games or uninterested. 

[Danioover9000]

@hyruga

2 hours ago, hyruga said:

Aren't you also making the serious assumption that he is NOT creepy?

   No, I'm making a different assumption that isn't in this scale of creepy to non-creepy, but I wouldn't start off without more questions about OP's state, cognition, morality and relevant experiences in his/her dating life. Yes, even assuming OP's sex as male, giving OP male based dating advice, without asking if OP is male or female. That's a bad guess to run off from.

   And I didn't immediately engaged with OP with my assumptions and gone from there.

Edited November 29, 2021 by Danioover9000

[Bando]

Yup his happens learning how to screen women for sexual compatibility is a must if your going to be gaming, once you establish a connection, whatever is you must sexualy screen her, you did everything right she just wasn't the one. 

If you wanted to keep talking to her as a friend thats fine, but if not you should just politely excused yourself and moved on theres no need to waste any time or mental energy

[Lyubov]

8 hours ago, Value said:

@Leo Gura how common is this type of medium level infidelity among GFs? Should I worry about it?

it exists for sure but I wouldn't worry about it. if you respect yourself and nurture your ability to feel things out you will find chicks that won't run around your back like this. it's kinda like how low self esteem people end up with shitty friends that use them. you will spot the signs and know it before walking into a trap like this. Even then we learn through mistakes. Worrying about it won't help though. Stick your values, always screen and keep your self esteem high. You should do fine. 

[hyruga]

14 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

@hyruga

   No, I'm making a different assumption that isn't in this scale of creepy to non-creepy, but I wouldn't start off without more questions about OP's state, cognition, morality and relevant experiences in his/her dating life. Yes, even assuming OP's sex as male, giving OP male based dating advice, without asking if OP is male or female. That's a bad guess to run off from.

   And I didn't immediately engaged with OP with my assumptions and gone from there.

Yeah you wouldn't start off but I would start off. Because I am a bad guy. Happy?

[HypnoticMagician]

I think she has just used you for money.