getting rid of social anxiety through selflessness?

[Human Mint]

I think that to kill social anxiety once and for all is necessary selflessness and love.

My question would rather be: what particular actions one can take to be more selfess in regards to social interactions?

Because selfishness brings social anxiety as one is always afraid that the self image may be threatened. Then being focused in the self image would be a form of selfishness, and it brings patologies such as social anxiety.

So, again, what actions in your life lessens the obsesive or subconscious, wounded thinking on the self image?

 

Just whatever thing that gets you out of your head basically...

Edited November 29, 2021 by Human Mint

[Human Mint]

So now that the intent is set, maybe i should be more open to failure, orwhat i consider failure

[Tim R]

I don't think selflessness is the right cure to social anxiety. Rather repair yourself than get rid of yourself. 

[Osaid]

Something that helped me a lot is realizing deeply that a lot of your social worries are just projections. It's something you are literally imagining right now, you are imagining that other people are currently perceiving you a certain way, as if that way of perception is something set in stone. For example, someone could say something you perceive as weird, but then everyone else who perceived that didn't think it was weird at all and actually thought it was an appropriate thing to say. You are actually just projecting your own social fears onto what someone else said, and then doing that to yourself as well. This was true in my case at least, whenever someone else said something that I personally believed to be socially inept, I would be surprised to see that no one else really seemed to perceive it that way. I'm sure the same is true for you.

This is a pretty deep problem, because you are actually imagining yourself taking someone else's perspective, and then also at the same time convincing yourself that they are thinking badly of you. You are basically taking responsibility for other people's projections of you. That's their problem, not yours.

Next time you send a text or something that causes you anxiety, just realize that the reason you're feeling fear is because you've projected something onto what you've said that doesn't really match reality. There is no fear or anxiety outside the realm of thoughts and projections. So just make sure to notice that and detach yourself from the fantasies of your mind.

 

[ted73104]

If you want to get rid of social anxiety, you need to ground yourself in your own ego. You need to find a way to get real comfortable in your ego, sort of the opposite of getting enlightened and becoming selfless.

[Human Mint]

Grounding in my own ego sounds on what i should be focused on, it goes against a lot of my expectations, but i want to try it. Now the thing is to implement it somehow: i made a list of questions for the sake of real change and because i feel sick by all of this.

-¿What would it be like to ground myself in my own ego? ¿What does that even mean?

-¿How can i get really confortable withy my own ego?

-¿What is preventing me from being myself fully and from understanding my own needs?

-¿What would be a way of expressing my own real needs?

-¿What do i have to let go of in order to be confortable with myself?

-¿Why is it better to be selfish with my own needs?