Being a virgin is fine

[bloomer]

@Salvijus

Just now, Salvijus said:

What?! ?? how do people even come up with such phylosophies?  ?  nvm...

Everyone is birthed because two people fucked. The Darwinian process selects every single human and animal trait based on who does and who doesn't breed. So every single instinct is a product of that process. 

Just now, Salvijus said:

I think sex urge when it is not satisfied it can get painful, I guess? Idk. 

Yes, especially if you're a man because men have far higher sex drives than women that women cannot comprehend. 

1 minute ago, Salvijus said:

But in having no sex itself inherently there's nothing wrong or painful about it.

There's a psychological pain as well as a physiological one. 

1 minute ago, Salvijus said:

That's where the problem is.

That's a small part of the problem.

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

I have never smoked a ciggarete, there are groups of people who will see him as utter noob and lame person.

It's not just about peer pressure lol. 

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

That label is more painful than the actually of it. And that's just stupid ? 

No the pain is different because it is the deprivation of fundamental instinct that governs all other instincts. Akin to a hunger and a psychological hunger. See this Orwell quote.

Quote

A tramp, therefore, is a celibate from the moment when he takes to the road. He is absolutely without hope of getting a wife, a mistress, or any kind of woman except — very rarely, when he can raise a few shillings — a prostitute.

It is obvious what the results of this must be: homosexuality, for instance, and occasional rape cases. But deeper than these there is the degradation worked in a man who knows that he is not even considered fit for marriage. The sexual impulse, not to put it any higher, is a fundamental impulse, and starvation of it can be almost as demoralizing as physical hunger. The evil of poverty is not so much that it makes a man suffer as that it rots him physically and spiritually. And there can be no doubt that sexual starvation contributes to this rotting process. Cut off from the whole race of women, a tramp feels himself degraded to the rank of a cripple or a lunatic. No humiliation could do more damage to a man’s self-respect. - George Orwell

 

[Salvijus]

@bloomer yeah but the topic I thought was about virginity as a social status not about sexual desires driving people mad. Btw can't you satisfy your sex drive by masturbating? Is there any difference between sex and masturbation?

[Salvijus]

@Knowledge Hoarder you're making statements but no arguments to back up those statements.

for example some people are really suffering that they can't afford a 10k clock on their wrist. People are capable of suffering all kinds of nonsense that are socialy promoted to be valuable. Sex feels such a exaggerated thing. There's really nothing to it. But it creates this illusion that without it you're nothing. The sex drive is there I don't deny it. But I think uou can easily just masturbate your way out of it and be okey. The rest of the pain is coming probably from social conditioning. Idk, maybe I'm wrong. Im not sex expert. I don't know how I even got here ? I'll stop replaying now. Regards ?

[Fandango]

Stop making it a thing "being a virgin"

If you write here about it is because you are bothered about this, so you want to fuck

Watch/practice the videos How to get laid. If you are a virgin, that´s gold to you

[bloomer]

@Salvijus

1 minute ago, Salvijus said:

you're making statements but no arguments to back up those statements.

No arguments to back up the statement that the absence of sexual experiences is painful? lol

[bloomer]

@Salvijus

16 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

The rest of the pain is coming probably from social conditioning.

People aren't just figments of your imagination and not everything is a social construct. Sex is a very real thing not nothing lol.

17 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Sex feels such a exaggerated thing. There's really nothing to it.

@Knowledge Hoarder

11 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Anyway, I already said what I deemed usefull to be said. I'm out.

I think what salv was saying was non seniscal to. I get his/her point about social conditioning but there is a line between the social and the biological. Caring about other people isn't just social, it does have a biological component to it. It's shown that you only get 25% of the pleasure from masturbation compared to sex. Sex is a physical act as well as intimacy. It's about touch, smell, pheromones, eye contact, all these visceral biological pieces that actually do in fact matter.

I suppose coming from someone whose a sexual or has a very low sex drive they can't really relate to that.

[Emotionalmosquito]

For about four years or so I considered myself volcel because I focused very strictly on spirituality. I had successfully broken my desire for intimacy, at least more so than most people ever will. I was doing so much yoga/breath work/meditation I felt completely and deeply satisfied with celibacy. So I do believe it’s possible to break the craving, just not probable for most. I was regularly doing extended nofap streaks while channeling the libidinal energy into prolonged states of emotional orgasm akin to what I imagine a light dose of mdma would feel like. 

But now that I’m getting older I figure it’s now or never to find out what this sex and intimacy business is all about. Upon discovering how preposterously difficult it is to obtain, I’m now incel.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Emotionalmosquito

[Javfly33]

49 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Upon discovering how preposterously difficult it is to obtain, I’m now incel.

Loved how the post ended? ? ? ? 

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

For about four years or so I considered myself volcel because I focused very strictly on spirituality. I had successfully broken my desire for intimacy, at least more so than most people ever will. I was doing so much yoga/breath work/meditation I felt completely and deeply satisfied with celibacy. So I do believe it’s possible to break the craving, just not probable for most. I was regularly doing extended nofap streaks while channeling the libidinal energy into prolonged states of emotional orgasm akin to what I imagine a light dose of mdma would feel like. 

But now that I’m getting older I figure it’s now or never to find out what this sex and intimacy business is all about. Upon discovering how preposterously difficult it is to obtain, I’m now incel.

Looks like spiritual bypassing to me.

You can't avoid relationships, there is like 50% of women in life.

[mandyjw]

@Shin You can certainly avoid women on youtube, Discord and this forum though. 

[bejapuskas]

Virgin shaming literally leads to sexual assault / rape. A person might think that sex is the ultimate good that one can get in reality and they just consent to it no matter what, even if they are not ready. And then while it is happening, they start feeling awkward and after some time they might realize they were assaulted/raped.

[Shin]

14 hours ago, mandyjw said:

@Shin You can certainly avoid women on youtube, Discord and this forum though. 

I'm sorry but I don't want to deal with that part of reality right now.

So I'll just pretend you don't exist ?

Edited December 7, 2021 by Shin

[bejapuskas]

@Knowledge Hoarder Not funny.

[bloomer]

@bejapuskas

Yes funny.

[Vivaldo]

I wanna die a virgin as chaste as Dianna! Read Virginia Woolf and have virgin mojito and foods with extra virgin olive oil, while living in state Virginia.?

[CodyXarex]

"Lost" my virginity to an escort during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and I thought I was gonna die. It was the grossest, messiest, smelliest experience I had ever had and I did not nut one time, and it opened the Pandora's box for me paying escorts for sex. It feels great but the intimacy of being inside or on top or or under another person is the best part, not the sensation of your dick inside someone's pussy. But it always left me feeling empty and corrupt.

It's not worth it, being a virgin is fine. Just don't tell anyone about it just like how you wouldn't share info about your 11th pinkie toe.

Edited December 12, 2021 by CodyXarex

[bejapuskas]

20 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I get what he's saying though, but this is just not aplicable to vast majority of men. But of course, there are some extreme cases when, as a man, you regret your first sex (meaning it's traumatic in some way, not awkward; obviously, it probably always is awkward first time), and it can become a traumatic experience. But that would have to be some extreme shit. Again, not aplicable to most men.

I regret NOT having sex when I could have. That's what I fucking regret.

@Knowledge Hoarder  Thank you for clarifying. I think if as a guy you don't feel comfortable / in the mood / ready, you should just say no. Don't focus on losing virginity. I feel like so many people waste their creative potential on just finding a person to have sex with, when it is not the most meaningful thing they could be doing only if they were not so pressured, having their self-esteem based on nonsensical things. I get the struggle, but even after sex, it is easy to fall into the trap of chasing it and never finding a meaningful purpose. 

Could you elaborate on the second point you made about not having sex when you could have? If you are ok with sharing.

@CodyXarex  Wow, that's insane, thanks for sharing that. I think what you said is very valuable.

[bejapuskas]

@Knowledge Hoarder  I am sorry for not answering for a long time. When I talked about being in the mood, I was refering to a mistake I made in the past. The stuff Leo talks about related to pleasing other people in bed and really focusing on that, I misinterpreted it and basically just put all of my energy into pleasing people whenever they asked for it (in bed) and that kind of escalated to me burning out, because they got addicted to how reliable it was I guess. So being able to say no when I was not in the mood necessarily would have helped. But that is not everyone's problem, just agreeable sensitive people. It can also just be targeted at guys who, because of their low self-esteem, would just go and have sex with whatever girl was available to them, without thinking about their own standards.

Once they hint at it, you might be able to start directly communicating, that is ideally what should happen. Indirect consent can be problematic, especially with a person you do not know and are just hooking up with.

It is good that you can see how purpose is more important than girls, by which I do not mean one should not pursue relationships. I would question your intent of like aiming at being able to get laid whenever, because in the process of just hooking up and never getting serious/attached to one person might cause you to like spend too much time just hooking up and perhaps not picking up the lesson that it is time to stop and settle down. You might meet an incredible person halfway down and not recognize it, because your mind would be somewhere in the future, where you are able to have sex whenever you want or whatever. Do you know what I mean? I am not saying you are doing this, I am just providing some food for thought.