Being a virgin is fine

[bloomer]

@Rilles

17 minutes ago, Rilles said:

When youre judging others youre actually judging yourself. Remember that. 

Okay, sure, and your point is?

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, bloomer said:

@Rilles

Okay, sure, and your point is?

Dont know. Just felt you were projecting some sort of "objective" truth about virginity onto others cause you were insecure. It literally doesnt matter what you do in life at all. The only reason you care about virginity is because sex=validation=good boy in society=dopamine hits to your brain. Youre a slave to the social matrix. I am too btw. Just saying.

[bloomer]

@Rilles

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

Dont know. Just felt you were projecting some sort of "objective" truth about virginity onto others cause you were insecure. It literally doesnt matter what you do in life at all. The only reason you care about virginity is because sex=validation=good boy in society=dopamine hits to your brain. Youre a slave to the social matrix. I am too btw. Just saying.

I don't give a shit what society thinks. Hence why I'm so open about the position I'm in. What I do care about though is finding a relationship and having sex.

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, bloomer said:

@Rilles

I don't give a shit what society thinks. Hence why I'm so open about the position I'm in. What I do care about though is finding a relationship and having sex.

Sure you dont. 

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, bloomer said:

@Lyubov

There is.

Doesn't matter, still are. Not hated obviously just stigmatized. 

Where's all this opportunity then?

Easy for you to say. It's a massive fucking problem for me.

Which is the v-card.

I get it. You feel awful and angry about it. It's fine to vent and I hear your anger and how shitty such a situation is. You still deserve respect though regardless of this problem. You don't need to go around calling yourself a loser. At least be gentle with yourself and give yourself the love and respect you deserve while you take the actions to find or create some fulfillment for this issue. 

Edited November 30, 2021 by Lyubov

[bloomer]

@Rilles

44 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Sure you dont. 

I suppose I do and we all do to some degree. But that’s not my first priority.

@Lyubov

Thank you I appreciate it

[Javfly33]

@Rilles +1 I agree with you. The mind projects and then acts like it didn't project and it's actually "out there" what is protecting.

 

[Nahm]

If you aren’t loving yourself, they intuit you’re not ready to love them. It’s like they can smell it or something. And if you’re twentyish, the potential s.o. is likely experiencing some degree of ‘mom & dad didn’t really love me’ emotional explorations, and unknowingly seeking a filler for the ‘hole’ (and not a hole to fill). A magnet flipped backwards simply can not function like a magnet flipped forwards. 

The way to get an s.o., and specifically one you actually love being with, is to let it (discord) go from mind altogether, and just loving being with you so to speak.

The universe doesn’t need to be told twice, let alone a hundred billion times. S.o.’s been manifesting since the first thought & desire… but doubt is like a shapeshifter, which must be nipped at the root many ways until it no longer grows. 

Any mind at peace knows communion comes prior to relationship. 

[ndm678]

Why are people telling him not to get a prostitute? I believe if the prostitute knew his situation, she'd probably jazz the experience up a bit.  My first was a random girl at a party, I never saw her again. 

I get that it's a low quality move, but if one is beating themselves up over being a virgin... it seems like a good place to start, burn some karma out, and open up resources in the mind. I realize he would be missing out on a huge slice of the pie, but I think he's more concerned about tasting said pie, not experiencing it to the fullest.

That is, if it's legal in your little slice of the planet. 

[Shin]

34 minutes ago, ndm678 said:

Why are people telling him not to get a prostitute? I believe if the prostitute knew his situation, she'd probably jazz the experience up a bit.  My first was a random girl at a party, I never saw her again. 

I get that it's a low quality move, but if one is beating themselves up over being a virgin... it seems like a good place to start, burn some karma out, and open up resources in the mind. I realize he would be missing out on a huge slice of the pie, but I think he's more concerned about tasting said pie, not experiencing it to the fullest.

That is, if it's legal in your little slice of the planet. 

When you're a virgin, it's not just the fact of not having sex that is the issue.

It's a lack of confidence, self-worth, intimacy, connection, love etc.

It could help, but it wouldn't do much imo.

[Rilles]

43 minutes ago, ndm678 said:

Why are people telling him not to get a prostitute? I believe if the prostitute knew his situation, she'd probably jazz the experience up a bit.  My first was a random girl at a party, I never saw her again. 

I get that it's a low quality move, but if one is beating themselves up over being a virgin... it seems like a good place to start, burn some karma out, and open up resources in the mind. I realize he would be missing out on a huge slice of the pie, but I think he's more concerned about tasting said pie, not experiencing it to the fullest.

That is, if it's legal in your little slice of the planet. 

Depends on the culture and if theres shame around it. In my country being with a hooker is the equivalent to murder in the eyes of the woke. We just had a celebrity socially lynched in the media last year for seeing a hooker. I wouldnt go to a hooker though, it doesnt solve the root problem which is validation. If anything it could make him feel worse. 

[ndm678]

I'm not promoting, nor am I condoning getting a prostitute. Seems like it would be a very vicarious position to be in.

I do promote the how to get laid series Leo put out. It will definitely get you to where you want to be.

IHe isn't going to get to the love, intimacy, bonding parts until he quenches the lust part

Maybe I'm just being too logical.

[Shin]

14 minutes ago, ndm678 said:

I'm not promoting, nor am I condoning getting a prostitute. Seems like it would be a very vicarious position to be in.

I do promote the how to get laid series Leo put out. It will definitely get you to where you want to be.

IHe isn't going to get to the love, intimacy, bonding parts until he quenches the lust part

Maybe I'm just being too logical.

Yeah but there is a huge difference between having sex with a prostitute and a girl you attracted.

In the second case you know you attracted the girl, which leads to higher self esteem and confidence at the very least, in the first you just get sex with a living puppet who has zero attraction towards you.

Edited December 1, 2021 by Shin

[bloomer]

@Shin

1 hour ago, Shin said:

In the second case you know you attracted the girl, which leads to higher self esteem and confidence at the very least, in the first you just get sex with a living puppet who has zero attraction towards you.

The first seems like an actual worthwhile experience that is needed. Second is just assisted masturbation using someone else’s body. Reminds me of the Hunter Thompson quote.

Quote

Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.

 

[Terell Kirby]

Has anyone met a virgin who was ok with their virginity?

And by ok with it, I mean having no future plans to lose it (through marriage or developing the self esteem / sexuality) .. 

If so, you have found a unicorn.

[eTorro]

I'm also a virgin and I don't feel bad about it. I'm 29 years old by the way.

It can be a problem only if you crave a woman. Other than that, it's alright.

[Salvijus]

Having no intercourse is fine. Feeling bad about it is utterly stupid. That's where the real problem is. 

Edited December 6, 2021 by Salvijus

[bloomer]

@Salvijus

19 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Feeling bad about it is utterly stupid. That's where the real problem is. 

It’s only natural to feel bad. Sex is the reason we all exist and are here to exist. Missing out on the point of existence (if there is any) is pretty bad in my opinion.

Also what @Terell Kirby said

On 01/12/2021 at 3:06 PM, Terell Kirby said:

Has anyone met a virgin who was ok with their virginity?

 

[Salvijus]

46 minutes ago, bloomer said:

Sex is the reason we all exist and are here to exist. Missing out on the point of existence (if there is any) is pretty bad in my opinion.

What?! ?? how do people even come up with such phylosophies?  ?  nvm...

I think sex urge when it is not satisfied it can get painful, I guess? Idk. 

But in having no sex itself inherently there's nothing wrong or painful about it. Only if there's a great longing for it than yeah, that unsatisfied desire can burn probably (like every other desire). But if there's no desire for it. It's really nothing at all. It's probably more as a social pressure that if you never had sex people will look at you as a noob or smth. That's where the problem is.

It's like sometimes when a person says, I have never smoked a cigarette, there are groups of people who will see him as utter noob and lame person. Tho there's nothing wrong in never having smoked a cigarette. It's the same thing with sex. The moment you say I'm a virgin. That label is more painful than the actually of it. And that's just stupid ? 

Edited December 6, 2021 by Salvijus

[Jacob Morres]

48 minutes ago, bloomer said:

@Salvijus

It’s only natural to feel bad. Sex is the reason we all exist and are here to exist. Missing out on the point of existence (if there is any) is pretty bad in my opinion.

Also what @Terell Kirby said

 

The problem is the social conditioning around it making you feel less worthwhile of a person because u haven't had sex 

Which is distinct from the problem that arises of you desiring sex and were unable to get it