Virgin loser here, 21 year old guy, never been on a date, never had a girl friend, never kissed a girl, never held a girls hand, never held/hugged a girl, never had a girl show me any sort of affection. Listened to Part 1 and Part 2. About to embark on the long journey of listening to the third video now. So I have specific questions about some of the ideas in the videos. I know there's the mega discussion thread on this topic. I will post there as well but I don't want to completely derail the thread with my questions and tangents which is why I've made a separate topic here. Hope that's okay. So I have made a bunch of notes and appreciate Leo and you all talk about this topic because I have found the videos insightful. Warning this is going to be a long thread.  So Leo makes a list of reasons as to why you aren't getting laid. 1. Not being social enough How many girls do I meet and talk to a week? Fuck all. I know I need to change my lifestyle. I'm living a very anti-social life. Leo mentions that the pain of being anti-social needs to become more painful than the pain of being social to get me out of my house and into the real world. I think for so long since youth pretty much, never really had friends in high school, I've been alone and struggle to talk with people. I don't know how to go from 0 and to just throw myself out into the world with no experience and no skills. So how do I get out and meet women and girls without being seen as a total creepy weirdo? 2. You're not going out Again, same thing pretty much. I spend all day at home. I need to get the fuck out the house and try to talk to people but I'm completely socially retarded. 3. Not approaching "Even if you come into contact with women when going out you're not approaching." Yeah I wouldn't even know how to go about that. I've never approached a girl and never really even been around women. The idea of going up to some girl and starting some conversation without me being expressing interest in her is alien enough.  4. No flirting skills "Not communicating with women in a romantic flirty way but as a logical friendly business man sort of way." I'm a very logically minded guy. My parents and others have worried that I might be on the spectrum but I don't want to know honestly because if I am I might just give up hope.  5. Not sure what attracts women Here's Leos list of what does and doesn't attract women. Women are attracted to "masculine energy". Strength, confidence, charisma, humour, cocky, funny, wit, fun, adventurous , playfulness and even drama. Take a woman through an emotional rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs. Women like strong personalities and men with passion. A man who expresses himself in a unpremeditated sort of way and exhibits a strong personality authentically. Regardless of the personality. High or low energy, doesn't matter. Just express your personality strongly and assertively and don't hold back. Never be vanilla. Women want deep intimacy. Women love balls, edgy and boldness. Women are obsessed and very attracted to celebrity, social approval, high status. Attracted to guys who have a life purpose more important than them. Moment you put her above your mission you lose. Women love strong eye contact. Women like guys who are fit, well dressed, well-groomed and smell nice. The number one thing that propels women is neediness and desperation. Don't put her on a pedestal and treating her like a qween. Don't be too nice to her. Fear, insecurity, lack of balls and shyness. Women hate men who are immediately sexually vulgar. Fake machismo or strength, much better admitting a weakness than faking a strength. Women are good bullshit detectors. Don't try to be gamey or fake, it's unnatural. Be authentic. Don't brag about yourself, never brag about yourself. It makes it seem like you're trying to impress. Do the opposite (not serious self-deprecation that makes you seem like a loser), make it look like you don't give a fuck. Women don't like boring logical talk or serious guys. Don't be business like with girls you're trying to date. Never force a woman to lead, never ask her where to go or for her to lead. Don’t be creepy ever. Game is all about being smooth and not creepy. Don't put women in a position where she feels awkward. So of the positives to attract women, I guess I'm not really vanilla maybe??? I hope I'd be capable of deep intimacy whatever that means but I doubt it. I'm pretty fit and do a lot of running and lifting but it hasn't helped me. I do dress well and groom. As for the negatives probably shyness and insecurity. I'm not a sexually obsessed or vulgar person. I don't try to bullshit people so that's a good thing. Nor do I brag. But I definitely am the logically spergy kind of guy. 100% if I was to approach a woman I'd end up putting her and myself in a position where we both feel awkward which is why I avoid doing it because I don't want to creep out or make someone else feel awkward. That and I'm a pussy lol. I know you might not care about me personally and my circumstances but I thought if anyone can offer tailored advice based on my traits that could be helpful that would be appreciated. Which is why I bothered saying them. 6. Insecurity complex "Have a victim mindset and think you're ugly etc… That gets communicated to women. If you have this mindset you can't escape. You think, what's the point of even trying and approaching women when I already know they're going to reject me? It's a self-fulfilling you process. Or another problem is thinking that you're not good enough and put women on a pedestal. In part you're not entitled enough. You think you don't deserve attractive women." "I'm too fat, I'm too short, I'm too ugly yadda yadda. Is it because you're short that you're getting laid, or the fact that you're insecure in the fact that you're short and that prevents you. How would you know the difference?" I wouldn't know the difference. But here's where I do go into the incel lookism stuff. In the video Leo mentions that on dating apps it's 90% about looks. That looks are how women judge you and if you don't have the looks you're going to get rejected. Well tinder and dating apps are the real world. Most people today meet of tinder and similar dating apps like bumble etc... So the fact that they have that preference for looks on these apps, why doesn't that also translate into real life? Doesn't that just reveal what women want when they can have it? 7. Not willing to work on yourself "On the other hand you have an entitlement mentality that you shouldn't have to change to get am attractive women. You believe hot women should like you naturally. The slob, immature boy that you are. Rather than working on yourself." At this point I don't really think I or anyone else for that matter deserves anything. Life isn't fair, some people have rich love lives and get everything, several women a day, and are born handsome, tall, good looking and grow up without constant adulation to become charismatic and self assured. Others are born ugly, short, bad looking and grow up with constant rejection and hostility and become isolated and self loathing stuck with masturbation and a computer screen.  That aside I do work on myself, I run three miles a day. I work out several times a week. I read a lot, I play guitar. I'm starting to meditate. So what? I don't think women are after some guy whose this self improver. Plenty of women lust after immature boys or even scumbags because they have what I don't.  I don't believe hot women should like me for me. I'm just embittered by the fact that no women like me and I don't think I'm a bad guy. When their are plenty of others guys who have far more than I ever will and didn't have to put any effort into getting it. 8. Paralysis analysis "Stuck getting caught in what to do rather than doing anything. Don't think it's too late to start." The fact that I'm not social and not good with women isn't going to solve itself. I need to put in more work obviously. I know that. Writing all this has just made me realize that I'm in paralysis. But I'd rather putting into words what's in my own head and have you guys judge it than leave them there hidden away doing damage without me knowing about them.    So in the end Leo gives five steps to getting laid. Well he said he gave five but I think he got lost on a rant and only really gave three. Unless I wasn't paying attention. 1. Envision yourself getting laid and getting cute girls 2. Study the principles of attraction 3. Go out and socialise every week At this point I don't even know what getting affection or girls would look like so it's a bit hard to imagine. I guess I'm studying the principles of attraction now? Again I don't really know how to get out and socialise. One thing that I did find tremendously helpful and made me feel better about myself was though the question.  "I'm too fat, I'm too short, I'm too ugly yadda yadda. Is it because you're short that you're getting laid, or the fact that you're insecure in the fact that you're short and that prevents you. How would you know the difference?" Maybe that is true. Also the simple fact that the number one problem is you're not being social enough and that much is clearly true. I'll make another post on the second video in a minute. If anyone has any advice from what I've wrote here it would be appreciated.