How do you know when people are laughing with you or laughing at you?

[NightHawkBuzz]

I would like to know how I can tell when people are laughing with me and when they are laughing at me. If they are laughing at me how should I handle the situation?

I am asking about this because there was a situation that happened where I had just got done playing basketball and I didn't have an extra undershirt to wear so I only wore my coat. The coat was not zipped up entirely so you could notice that I didn't have an undershirt on. When I was done at the gym I went to the library and started talking to some people I knew. They noticed that I didn't have an undershirt on and started laughing. I started laughing with them because I thought it was funny. One of my friends who was there wasn't laughing and told me to just zip up my coat all the way. When me and my friend left he told me that I shouldn't have been laughing with them because they were laughing at me and not with me.

[Yarco]

People generally don't laugh AT someone 1 on 1, so it's most likely to occur in a group.

Watch how the other people in the group are interacting with each other in a subtle way. Usually 2 people will look at each other and start laughing. Or 1 person will look at you, then make eye contact with someone else who is already laughing, and then they start laughing.

It's almost like they need to look to other people in the group to see if it's socially acceptable for them to laugh at you or not.

It can be pretty subtle. Just pay attention to how they interact with each other. How they look at each other, and especially if they talk to each other or joke about you to each other almost as if you aren't there.

[Carl-Richard]

It's insecurity that creates the divide. When there is a recognition of shared being, laughter always happens with and at you.

[Snader]

The boss move would be to consciously do exactly what you unconsciously did: Laughing at yourself with them.

Of course that's easier said than done, but that's what you should aim at; being able to laugh even at yourself. Because the truth of that situation is that there is nothing to be serious for or nothing to be worried about, so why not zip your jacket all the way open and over emote some specific character that they or you might see yourself as and have an amazing laughter episode

[Spence94]

22 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

It's insecurity that creates the divide. When there is a recognition of shared being, laughter always happens with and at you.

He's right. It shouldn't matter if people are laughing at you or with you. The problem isn't wether they are laughing at you or with you, the problem is the insecurity as to wether they are laughing "at you".  Once you fill your own cup and get your internal self worth, wether people laugh at you or with you doesnt matter. Ironically, when you do this, more people laugh with you, and those who laugh at you, see your indifference and how secure you are, and laughing at you turns into laughing with you, just in a more banterous and teasing way. The key is to actually be secure and laugh at it with them, not laugh with them because you're insecure and don't wanna face the discomfort of being laughed at so you hide it with nervous insecure laughter. If they are genuinely being nasty people, well just smile and wave bro, smile and wave. Peace.

[Preety_India]

You have to notice people's body language. Generally when you laugh and they laugh, they're laughing with you. People who care about your feelings and are sharing a similar sentiment will look into your eyes and stop when you stop. 

People who laugh at you won't care if you're offended or not. So if you look at them with a serious look, they will go on laughing, in fact they might even enjoy pissing you off. 

Learn to pick social cues by constant socializing with different people. 

Eventually you learn the tricks like the sleight of your hand.