How do you see your blind spots?

[PurpleTree]

Most people have huge blind spots.

For example yesterday i talked to someone who told me something about how horrible her old boss was because she wouldn't tolerate criticism.

And i just thought, wow are you talking about yourself?

[Guest EmptyVase]

Intuition, mostly. That is listening to feeling. Your emotional guidance system always points out your blind spots, you just gotta listen.

[Guest EmptyVase]

3 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

For example yesterday i talked to someone who told me something about how horrible her old boss was because she wouldn't tolerate criticism.

Taking that example, if she would've noticed that what she talks about feels discordant to her (which is a strong signal from your emotions), she might have caught that particular blind spot. Literally, something feels off there. That's your 'sign'.

[Elham]

I read something somewhere like this: "when some particular trait in others bothers you, it's because u yourself have that particular train in you". 

[Bernardo Carleial]

4 hours ago, Elham said:

I read something somewhere like this: "when some particular trait in others bothers you, it's because u yourself have that particular train in you". 

In my case, it happens when someone close to me criticizes more than once about some particular trait I might have while interacting with them.

But your example is also very good, I can picture myself in situations like that... I used to be very judgemental towards others,  and I still have to correct that myself...

Edited November 23, 2021 by Bernardo Carleial

[PurpleTree]

6 hours ago, Elham said:

I read something somewhere like this: "when some particular trait in others bothers you, it's because u yourself have that particular train in you". 

so if you're bothered by racism, you're racist

if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist

if you're bothered by unfairness, you're unfair

 

i mean those things sound good but i don't really buy it

[Brandon Nankivell]

8 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

so if you're bothered by racism, you're racist

if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist

if you're bothered by unfairness, you're unfair

 

i mean those things sound good but i don't really buy it

If you're open, consider taking a another look at this.

if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist

Try instead:

if you're bothered by murder or rape, have a look at the "I am bothered".

 

Who is bothered?

From where does the thought/feeling of being bothered arise?

What happens if you sit with it and watch it for 10 minutes?

[Epikur]

I think blind spots are an important part of self improvement. 

Philosophically speaking you could argue we could be happy if we can find a white spot.

[Guest EmptyVase]

10 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

so if you're bothered by racism, you're racist

if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist

if you're bothered by unfairness, you're unfair

 

i mean those things sound good but i don't really buy it

You gotta be nuanced. You can't be a brain surgeon with a chainsaw.

Racism, rape, and unfairness are obviously problems which need solutions on a structural level - which, in turn, need empathy and understanding for both sides.

[LastThursday]

23 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

Most people have huge blind spots.

And they don't see them, because they're blind spots. So nobody ever thinks they have blind spots. One way to know is to just ask others or listen to what they say about you. They're not always right, but sometimes they are, especially if two different people are saying the same thing.

[PurpleTree]

6 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

And they don't see them, because they're blind spots. So nobody ever thinks they have blind spots. One way to know is to just ask others or listen to what they say about you. They're not always right, but sometimes they are, especially if two different people are saying the same thing.

yes exactly. then the question is who is competent enough to tell you about your blind spots but if multiple people say it then it's probably true-ish.

i think some people pay coaches/therapists etc. to point those out 

Edited November 24, 2021 by PurpleTree

[PurpleTree]

it's also a bit of a problem of introverted people who're often alone.

because then you might not be enough around people who could tell you/hint at your blind spots

[Elham]

17 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

so if you're bothered by racism, you're racist

if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist

if you're bothered by unfairness, you're unfair

 

i mean those things sound good but i don't really buy it

Slow down  

I meant some small behavioural features like jealousy or being judgmental 

[PurpleTree]

5 hours ago, Elham said:

Slow down  

I meant some small behavioural features like jealousy or being judgmental 

what's so much "bigger" in terms of behaviour about something like jealousy, judgemental etc. than racism, unfairness etc.?

the murder and rape thing might have been slightly over the top

[Preety_India]

I think shadow work does help in exploring one's blind spots. 

I did shadow work in 2017/2018.

And it revealed a lot of my inner trauma and also refined some of my perspectives.