I think I have a mild-moderate level of Schizoid Personality Disorder

[7thLetter]

Just recently I've started to realize that I may have a personality disorder.

I've always found myself to be this individual who is detached, withdrawn, indifferent in most social situations, but I never thought of it as a possible personality disorder. I've always thought of this sort of behavior to be part of my introverted nature, or I would maybe even justify it and believe that this behavior is common in those who are "Yellow" on the Spiral. Maybe it is or maybe it's not.

I've always been a quiet loner in elementary and high school growing up. This might've been the beginning of how I developed this possible disorder. I've still had a handful of friends, and made many friends after highschool, but in several workplaces I've always found myself to be a bit cold around others. I also got into pickup, which might've contributed to my detached personality.

I still could function quite normally in life and make friends but some people most likely see me as a bit standoffish. In fact I've been called "cold" just recently by another co-worker.
I still express my emotions and still desire intimate relationships, which is why I'd say I only have a mild-moderate level of SPD so I definitely wouldn't say this is something completely serious, but it does affect my life in a way where I find it difficult building certain relationships that I desire, due to inconsistency.

On the inside I'm dying to talk to certain people but on the outside it's like I'm indifferent and I play hot & cold.
I want to be more expressive and caring but I don't know what to do. I'm currently looking into trying psychotherapy. 

Anyone have any advice or experiences that they want to share around this?

 

[silene]

Firstly, don't panic. It may only be a matter of being introverted, and worrying about being schizoid before you've been properly tested by a professional serves no purpose. 

I would try and find a professional who can get you a diagnosis, rule in or out personality disorders to help direct you to appropriate therapy or treatment if you need it. Who knows, maybe you don't need psychotherapy anyway, perhaps someone like a good life coach or spiritual guide is more appropriate. 

Edited November 23, 2021 by silene

[Yarco]

Don't try to self-diagnose too much. When you look up stuff online, it feels like everything applies to you. Like when you look anything up the internet tells you that you've got cancer. All internet quizzes I've done tell me I've got severe avoidant, antisocial, and narcissistic personality disorder plus mild schizoid and OCD lol... that's like 3/4 of them.

If it's concerning you then talk to a professional. From what you've described it could just as easily be a mild autism spectrum disorder, you can't figure it out on your own.

What you describe is also just the norm for lots of people nowadays because we were never socialized properly and spend too much time online, I fit the same description you give.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Yarco

[Flowerfaeiry]

If you think it would really benefit you then go for a diagnosis. My advice is not to get hung up on it though, I think it’s nice to know as it can help you explain things but don’t let it get you down if you can help it.

[7thLetter]

Thanks guys

There's definitely a chance that I may be overthinking it. It might even just be my introverted nature along with some social anxiety.

[Nahm]

I lean towards literally, physically isolating / finding, whatever I claim to have. If it is found I can not, then it is found I do not. 

[mandyjw]

@7thLetter You can determine what you want, determine the direction you are moving in and feel good about having that direction, without making where you are into a problem.