Casual sex vs relationships - your opinions?

[gettoefl]

2 hours ago, Thunder Kiss said:

Thankyou for saying this. It’s quite sad when people here hold this view that women would cheat with a scumbag because she’s just a dumb unconscious chick running solely on emotions.
 

point is one man's scumbag is another man's guccibag ... no one self proclaims scumbaggery, they are just enjoying life to the full

it is not lying it is just showing your best side, you know like wearing make up

[gettoefl]

43 minutes ago, somegirl said:

So... I understand what you point to, but really, some girls DO consider long term consequences of being involved with scumbag.

Yes, since it is rare to find a guy who has an amazing game and is crazy seductive, he is almost irresistible once a girl comes across him, but I would suggest that some girls do think of their long term health and wellbeing. And they do set bounders/set ultimatums. Maybe even more so after they have already been burnt before. 

he is saying that ultimately biology trumps intellect ... you don't choose a guy, you are driven, the future of your lineage is at stake in this

[gettoefl]

28 minutes ago, Mz Hyde said:

Shouldn't dating strategies be adjusted to kind of girl guy want? If a guy wants a serious relationship, with the assumption that he is looking for a high quality girl for that (and IMO such a girl should consider long term consequences), I guess he should set the game to attract that kind of girls. Unlike that business you mentioned, where you need a lot of customers for it to work, for relationship you need only one.

he doesn't set the game he plays the game, the deck is already dealt and he has to take what it deals

[Lyubov]

This is why you need a balance of both the boyfriend sort of approach and the horn dog. It’s sort of an intuitive skill where you feel it out and know when to ramp up which side in which moment. You need both for sure if you want to feel fulfilled in your dating life l. 

You can get action being too far off to either side but it will cause problems.

Too far in the boyfriend frame? You’re gonna be passed over a lot and seen as boring and platonic.

Too far in the horn dog frame? You’ll get action, but it may not be the quality of woman you most desire.

just a quick personal story: I had this exact conversation with my gf the other day. I’ve been initiating her into the male POV of dating and she is kinda blown away by it.

I illustrated these two points and she sorta had a totally different paradigm where from her POV it’s most important for a guy to be in boyfriend frame so both people see if they are a good fit together. I basically was finally able to fill in her blind spots. She admitted that the guy that’s pure boyfriend frame can get boring and after a couple dates with such a guy she is praying to god he has a huge dick cause everything else about him is making her dry.
 

A lot of women are simply blind to the sort of aspects of masculinity  men sort of have to play and act through to be attractive and turn women. They don’t care and just go with the flow and feel if it’s fun or not. Many women don’t like to conceptualize this stuff at all like guys do. 

Edited November 23, 2021 by Lyubov

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Mz Hyde said:

Shouldn't dating strategies be adjusted to kind of girl guy want? If a guy wants a serious relationship, with the assumption that he is looking for a high quality girl for that (and IMO such a girl should consider long term consequences), I guess he should set the game to attract that kind of girls. Unlike that business you mentioned, where you need a lot of customers for it to work, for relationship you need only one.

Your "high quality" girl still wants fun, emotions, value, and leadership. A high quality girl has options. She won't be attracted to some needy inexperienced ass.

For a guy to get a good relationship requires hundreds of approaches.

You are assuming attraction. But that cannot be assumed.

A guy needs a lot of "customers" to get the experience necessary to be the kind of strong man & leader a high quality girl expects him to be.

Every girl wants the sausage but doesn't want to know how it's made. As it turns out, being a man tends to be a dirty business.

[zazen]

2 hours ago, Mz Hyde said:

Shouldn't dating strategies be adjusted to kind of girl guy want? If a guy wants a serious relationship, with the assumption that he is looking for a high quality girl for that (and IMO such a girl should consider long term consequences), I guess he should set the game to attract that kind of girls. Unlike that business you mentioned, where you need a lot of customers for it to work, for relationship you need only one.

If your high quality girl is the more reserved shy conservative type of girl, more intellectual bookish type then you could cater to that, still need to be attractive but maybe not in the playerish way or attractive x100 that would attract the typical high quality girl that is more sociable and has many options.  For those girls with lots of options, if that is high quality for you, then you will have to stand out from the flood of guys throwing themselves at her. 

Edited November 23, 2021 by zazen

[Mz Hyde]

I'm girl, not a guy lol
I asked that question out of curiosity.. Anyway, thank you all for your answers.

[Jacquelope]

7 hours ago, Thunder Kiss said:

Thankyou for saying this. It’s quite sad when people here hold this view that women would cheat with a scumbag because she’s just a dumb unconscious chick running solely on emotions.
 

—-
 

Personally I don’t think what you are saying is a huge problem.  Yes it’s a very popular dynamic in pickup community and the party scene.  Within the pickup community and because that is what we see written here on this forum so much, that doesn’t mean that everyone is like this or that this is how it is. 
There are plenty of men out there who aren’t interested in pickup or one night stands.  There has always been players and womanisers throughout history.  Only difference is that now it’s more documented online.  If anything I think more men are waking up and maturing, they are dealing with their intimacy issues and growing. 

It’s also not true that women receive floods of candidates.  Yes maybe if you are thinking of an Instagram influencer or models then yes they probably get a lot of spam guys pestering them.  But seriously this is not the real world.. most girls aren’t getting that many guys hitting on them. And that doesn’t mean they are ugly low value girls, they are just not in the party scene so don’t get noticed as much. 

But I do think male sexlessness is a fast-rising problem, somewhat of women's doing and somewhat of our own. As a man I can only think to focus on our contributions, honestly.

 

5 hours ago, gettoefl said:

leo was talking about the man not the woman, he is saying get out of your head and stop being so logical if you want to make an impact, she wants the nonchalant fun guy over the needy nerdy

I did previously say in another thread that male thirst overall is out of control. We do need to control the thirst and desperation. What we need is a realignment of men's priorities away from the rampant need to a more focused and intelligent take. We're being pulled sideways almost entirely by instinct and lack of logic.

5 hours ago, zazen said:

@Jacquelope As Leo mentioned to even get that relationship you need experience and to be confident enough which comes from abundance and experience, and be able to attract that 'one' girl. Also, having social proof and playerish in the beginning doesn't hurt. Now days because women don't need men for survival, they are looking for the sexy genes  or alpha traits in men which would be more the playerish type of guy, hence coming across too boyfriendish at the start isn't a priorty for women now.

Abundance mindset is useful to an extent, but any woman who is hooked on alpha traits or sexy genes simply isn't the kind of woman a man is going to achieve any sort of healthy relationship with. Women are showing us that they can live without us. We don't need to say "women suck" or "we don't need women" but we need to be less obsessed with women and more capable of being happy without them (just as they are happy without us) at least for a few generations... without going  full Japanese Herbivore, of course.

My take: We put way too much value on women and chasing women. That's what is hurting us. 

[something_else]

27 minutes ago, Jacquelope said:

I did previously say in another thread that male thirst overall is out of control. We do need to control the thirst and desperation

You're never gonna control it. It's about as hardwired into your biology as it's possible for something to be

28 minutes ago, Jacquelope said:

but any woman who is hooked on alpha traits or sexy genes simply isn't the kind of woman a man is going to achieve any sort of healthy relationship with

This is too simplistic. Most women are attracted to a subset of alpha traits to different degrees e.g. confidence, humour, leadership, masculine appearance and so on.

Sure, if a girl is extremely superficial about these traits then that's probably not gonna go so well but pretty much every girl is attracted to at least some of these things, so you need to develop them instead of becoming celibate from women until you meet 'the one'.

As a hypothetical, imagine a guy who has no excitement in his life, no leadership, is super serious, is anxious and barely leaves the house, never chases girls, how exactly is he going to meet a high value girl and when he does what value is he offering her at all? Why would she stick around when she will have so many other options?

The solution is learning the social game, not avoiding it

Better to build as many guys up with alpha traits as possible instead of trying to knock 99% of guys down into celibate, inexperienced dudes waiting for the one

[zazen]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

You're never gonna control it. It's about as hardwired into your biology as it's possible for something to be

True, we can't repress our desires and the reason for the thirst is because that desire isn't being met for various reasons, on top of being overly exposed to it and sex being glorified so its a constant tease. We are over sexualised yet undersexed as a generation. 

 

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

The solution is learning the social game, not avoiding it

Better to build as many guys up with alpha traits as possible instead of trying to knock 99% of guys down into celibate, inexperienced dudes waiting for the one

This. A lot of men complain about women but also a lot of men are slacking now days too and getting into toxic mindsets/groups online to confirm how much women suck. Combination of screen time, poor diet/lifestyle, entertainment wasting our time etc, not being as social, social media is more like a social media as it separates us and echo chambers us away from reality. 

[Jacquelope]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

You're never gonna control it. It's about as hardwired into your biology as it's possible for something to be

This is too simplistic. Most women are attracted to a subset of alpha traits to different degrees e.g. confidence, humour, leadership, masculine appearance and so on.

Sure, if a girl is extremely superficial about these traits then that's probably not gonna go so well but pretty much every girl is attracted to at least some of these things, so you need to develop them instead of becoming celibate from women until you meet 'the one'.

As a hypothetical, imagine a guy who has no excitement in his life, no leadership, is super serious, is anxious and barely leaves the house, never chases girls, how exactly is he going to meet a high value girl and when he does what value is he offering her at all? Why would she stick around when she will have so many other options?

The solution is learning the social game, not avoiding it

Better to build as many guys up with alpha traits as possible instead of trying to knock 99% of guys down into celibate, inexperienced dudes waiting for the one

We human beings control a lot of our base instincts, that's how civilization happened. We can't kill male thirst but we can tame it. It's part of being intelligent. As for a man with no excitement, no leadership, super serious, anxious, etc etc, isn't that an extreme example? How many men have all those negative qualities? Not many, I'd think. What's wrong with moderation? Before we start talking about alpha traits we should talk about that. Then we need to talk about something that seems to be heresy among men: what is a high value woman?

Don't get me wrong I do believe that to find a high value woman we should provide equal value as a man. But... we need to accept that as human beings we will have some flaws. Not all men will have leadership, some will be socially anxious to some degree, some men are fairly timid about chasing women, although once again few men have all of the above drawbacks. If a woman is going to fail us out of the running because we have some of those flaws, she's not perfect herself, she too has flaws, judge not that ye not be judged and all that.

And that's what I believe is wrong with men - we don't stop to see her flaws as equal to ours. To too many men she inherently has higher value because of being female, her flaws must be overlooked but we men must strive for perfection. That is what is giving women an overblown sense of empowerment, that is what I see as what is destroying us.

1 hour ago, zazen said:

True, we can't repress our desires and the reason for the thirst is because that desire isn't being met for various reasons, on top of being overly exposed to it and sex being glorified so its a constant tease. We are over sexualised yet undersexed as a generation. 

 

This. A lot of men complain about women but also a lot of men are slacking now days too and getting into toxic mindsets/groups online to confirm how much women suck. Combination of screen time, poor diet/lifestyle, entertainment wasting our time etc, not being as social, social media is more like a social media as it separates us and echo chambers us away from reality. 

Men of today aren't any worse than men of the past. It's the economy that is wrecking us. The mancession of 2008 was balanced out by the womancession of the pandemic. Women are participating less than men in the workforce. We're not as bad off as the feminist media claims we are. The problem is we're working harder and getting less in return from this economy, an age old problem and not a new one. Societies have always had so-called "surplus men" who couldn't find a job or a wife - they didn't slack off, instead they used to go to war and blow up civilizations, and that was clearly worse. Our problems are the same as they ever were, except that we can't go to war anymore in an era of nuclear weapons. With no way to spend away men in war and give them a purpose denied to them by a matured and disintegrating economy, instead of flattened cities and mass war-related depopulation... we have slackers.

But yes oversexualization is a huge and unnecessary problem, it has helped to contribute to another issue that is common to all of this: expectations are rising far too fast for men. Women want more from men while providing less. Some of that is our fault, we don't ask much of women anymore, and that is a subtle but very big problem. Too many Instagram and onlyfans dudes out there wanting to buy some hot babe's bathwater. This is hurting us all.

Honestly I'd love to be able to intervene with these toxic men's groups and de-radicalize them. How do you get them to realize that their instagram habits are part of the problem? We'd solve so much of this woman problem by spending some time pointing at the face in the mirror and calling out his over-permissive, over-aggressive tactics. The woman problem is inherently a man problem and the man problem is inherently a woman problem. The solution is not to just stop chasing women, I'm never suggesting this. The solution is to moderate our aggression and rethink our approach. We can shut this down. Fire requires fuel to burn. No fuel means no fire. 

Edited November 23, 2021 by Jacquelope

[zazen]

2 hours ago, Jacquelope said:

Men of today aren't any worse than men of the past. It's the economy that is wrecking us. The mancession of 2008 was balanced out by the womancession of the pandemic. Women are participating less than men in the workforce. We're not as bad off as the feminist media claims we are. The problem is we're working harder and getting less in return from this economy, an age old problem and not a new one. Societies have always had so-called "surplus men" who couldn't find a job or a wife - they didn't slack off, instead they used to go to war and blow up civilizations, and that was clearly worse. Our problems are the same as they ever were, except that we can't go to war anymore in an era of nuclear weapons. With no way to spend away men in war and give them a purpose denied to them by a matured and disintegrating economy, instead of flattened cities and mass war-related depopulation... we have slackers.

But yes oversexualization is a huge and unnecessary problem, it has helped to contribute to another issue that is common to all of this: expectations are rising far too fast for men. Women want more from men while providing less. Some of that is our fault, we don't ask much of women anymore, and that is a subtle but very big problem. Too many Instagram and onlyfans dudes out there wanting to buy some hot babe's bathwater. This is hurting us all.

Honestly I'd love to be able to intervene with these toxic men's groups and de-radicalize them. How do you get them to realize that their instagram habits are part of the problem? We'd solve so much of this woman problem by spending some time pointing at the face in the mirror and calling out his over-permissive, over-aggressive tactics. The woman problem is inherently a man problem and the man problem is inherently a woman problem. The solution is not to just stop chasing women, I'm never suggesting this. The solution is to moderate our aggression and rethink our approach. We can shut this down. Fire requires fuel to burn. No fuel means no fire. 

True, also with inflation and spending power going down. In the past one mans income could sustain a whole family (the american dream). Technology has gotten cheaper but the essentials such as housing, healthcare, education has increased while wages haven't accordingly. Women entering the labour force doubled labour (law of supply/demand) and decreased the average value of labour with it, meaning industry got to profit from it including the government which got more people to supply the tax base. With women getting more educated than men (60/40 split in colleges) and in future out earning men, they will not as easily be able to match men lower than them either due to them feeling the man is lower than them (in status, not all women but in general) or men themselves out of ego and not wanting to be with such women feeling inferior also, it goes both ways. Also this talk about high value and extreme examples like a guy with no good qualities at all not getting anything. Of course those guys will suffer but the average guy isn't void of any positive qualities at all, average can match with average also. Red pill focuses a lot on the 1-10% of the hierarchy. The problem comes when if women out earn women at the average level, can that affect the whole dynamic even amongst the average whether its due to women feeling like their settling if the man earns less or those men fearing inferiority to be with those women. 

 

For men not getting sex is quite a big deal, in the past in Islamic societies where harems existed the left over men were used and channeled there testosterone into caliphates/conquering/wars. Now, at least their is porn/video games/entertainment to pacify that aggression and need to 'win' or 'conquer' at least in cyber space but for a lot it will still be too frustrating leading to school shooters, toxic ideologies etc. Women not getting sex isn't as big of a deal for a few reasons, one being they can make themselves orgasm with the selection of tools they have now, not being sexual 24/7 the way men are, more easily turing to lesbianism, or if they do want sex with a man sharing a alpha playboy or jerk for sexual needs. But they lack the 10x testosterone that would lead men to other outlets, some fatal.  Women are also getting their ego's inflated by these thirsty men on social media / only fans like you say, its like attraction inflation and promotes a narcism/entitlement which won't serve them well in their relationships, and just makes the average woman insecure in her looks when she looks at what seems to be caricatures of women. Men need to stop fanning those flames and not put up with bad behaviour also as you mention. 

 

You have interesting insights, seem well rounded, and write well man, welcome to the forum btw! 

 

 

Edited November 23, 2021 by zazen

[Jacquelope]

5 hours ago, zazen said:

True, also with inflation and spending power going down. In the past one mans income could sustain a whole family (the american dream). Technology has gotten cheaper but the essentials such as housing, healthcare, education has increased while wages haven't accordingly. Women entering the labour force doubled labour (law of supply/demand) and decreased the average value of labour with it, meaning industry got to profit from it including the government which got more people to supply the tax base. With women getting more educated than men (60/40 split in colleges) and in future out earning men, they will not as easily be able to match men lower than them either due to them feeling the man is lower than them (in status, not all women but in general) or men themselves out of ego and not wanting to be with such women feeling inferior also, it goes both ways. Also this talk about high value and extreme examples like a guy with no good qualities at all not getting anything. Of course those guys will suffer but the average guy isn't void of any positive qualities at all, average can match with average also. Red pill focuses a lot on the 1-10% of the hierarchy. The problem comes when if women out earn women at the average level, can that affect the whole dynamic even amongst the average whether its due to women feeling like their settling if the man earns less or those men fearing inferiority to be with those women. 

 

For men not getting sex is quite a big deal, in the past in Islamic societies where harems existed the left over men were used and channeled there testosterone into caliphates/conquering/wars. Now, at least their is porn/video games/entertainment to pacify that aggression and need to 'win' or 'conquer' at least in cyber space but for a lot it will still be too frustrating leading to school shooters, toxic ideologies etc. Women not getting sex isn't as big of a deal for a few reasons, one being they can make themselves orgasm with the selection of tools they have now, not being sexual 24/7 the way men are, more easily turing to lesbianism, or if they do want sex with a man sharing a alpha playboy or jerk for sexual needs. But they lack the 10x testosterone that would lead men to other outlets, some fatal.  Women are also getting their ego's inflated by these thirsty men on social media / only fans like you say, its like attraction inflation and promotes a narcism/entitlement which won't serve them well in their relationships, and just makes the average woman insecure in her looks when she looks at what seems to be caricatures of women. Men need to stop fanning those flames and not put up with bad behaviour also as you mention. 

 

You have interesting insights, seem well rounded, and write well man, welcome to the forum btw! 

Thanks a lot! My insights come from listening to innumerable other opinions that have often clashed with my own beliefs, including Red Pill which I find to be accurate in their assessment of Tinder-era women but utterly horrible when it comes to how to cope, and feminists who have some good points but are militantly unwilling to admit women need some correction as well as men. 

Just one bit about women entering the labor force, it's quite chilling to follow that to its logical conclusion which is often what traditional conservatives are want to do: remove women from the labor force. Honestly aside from the aspect of women being equally entitled to the benefits of freedom and individual liberty, I think (from a selfish/no virtue signaling perspective) that it's a good thing women are doing better. Do we really want to be their walking wallets? A woman that looks down at you for earning less than her won't love you if you're earning a lot more, she'll only love your money. We know where that goes... paternity fraud, alimony, to list a few potential consequences.

38% of married women earn more than their husbands in America, and the level of dissatisfaction women feel about this is declining, not rising. (It's not all bad news out there, contrary to what Red Pill says).

Honestly I feel like heck, let the rise of women affect the whole dynamic. If a woman feels like she's settling when men are being hit this hard then she's not worth being with. I don't think we should let ourselves worry about trying to keep out-earning women, or out-alpha'ing women. Power games between men and women is like nuclear war - even when you win, you still lose. There is no loving relationship at the end of that game, I'm reminded here of what Miriam Nakamoto did when her boyfriend lost that MMA match (I can provide a link to the youtube video of what I mean if you haven't seen it) as a warning to what can happen to men who play alpha/power games. The problem is we men have been indoctrinated into believing that we need to play these games to be with a proper woman, when in reality we are being groomed to chase toxic relationships that are spiritually dead. A woman playing these games will never love you, she will only love the dominance you have over her or others.

 

On the other hand men should be looking for something besides a woman's looks, too. Red Pill in particular obsesses about "getting the hottest babes" but that's for another thread. I'll just stay on topic: a man is better off prioritizing her moral character and compatibility regardless of whether she's Basic Suzie / some extra pounds / Jennifer Lopez clone / whatever. Hell if you're going to try to get experience before settling down forget the hot babe craze, better off to find a woman who's a tiger in the sack. Looks fade but skill doesn't! YMMV but that strategy ended quite well for me.

Of course we're already having multiple conversations on here about healthy masculinity, I will take some time to go through them to further improve my own take on the issue.

[Yarco]

I'm married now and I regret not having sex with more women first.

If you don't get it out of your system, you'll always be daydreaming and wondering "what if". You never got a chance to sleep with X or Y kind of girl. In the long term I think it will probably make you more predisposed to cheating.

Unless you get an uncureable STD or a girl pregnant, I don't think you'll ever regret having more sex before settling down.

Our education system does a huge disservice by scaring kids through sex ed to the point of traumatizing them against having sex. I had so many opportunities to have sex with girls that I passed up early on for fear that I'd catch AIDS or get her pregnant even with a condom the first time I had sex. Fuck that shit, it ruined my life and so much potential enjoyment.

You aren't doing some moral thing, by the time you're 20 years old every chick has fucked at least a dozen dudes, probably more like 30. The body counts I hear from average-looking women is astounding. You're just kneecapping yourself. Don't try to be some noble knight, just fuck bitches.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Yarco

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Yarco said:

by the time you're 20 years old every chick has fucked at least a dozen dudes, probably more like 30.

This isn't true

Quote

just fuck bitches.

Do not make this discourse toxic.

[soos_mite_ah]

Aint nothing wrong with either so long as people are going about it in a conscious, self aware way where they know what their intentions are, they can communicate it effectively, and their intentions are coming from a healthy place. 

You can do either from a healthy or unhealthy place 

Healthy casual sex: exploration of your sexuality, learning about different sides of yourself and what you like etc. 

Healthy relationships: being with someone who you trust and who respects you, you and your partner(s) are being proactive on self development, good communication etc.  

Unhealthy casual sex: Sex as self-harm, hypersexuality due to sexual trauma, constantly needing validation, lying to pump and dump etc. 

Unhealthy relationships: codependency, getting into relationships because of external pressures (time, family, culture etc.), serial monogamy etc. 

Wrote somethings about my thoughts on casual sex in my journal: 

Basically, there is no one size fits all. Just exercise some self awareness and reflect on what you want and need and you'll be fine. Also, it's important to keep in mind that your needs and desires can change over time depending on your stage of life.

Edited November 24, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[zazen]

@Jacquelope Interesting, didn't know that many women earn more than their husbands and are happy. Very contrary to the typical red pill beliefs. Men do have to look past just looks and I think thats where also society isn't doing a great job. Women are behaving in un feminine ways (cursing, sleeping around like men, drinking to excess, being arrogant loud etc) so besides looks that fade leaving much to be desired, and unfortunately thats partly due to society and them having to take on  masculine traits to survive and win in the modern economy and work places as they are competing against other men. 

 

Whats your take on the below: 

The way people met in the past when casual sex was looked down upon was through courting each other (without sex) until they met someone they matched with, then got into a serious relationship in which sexually things happened or waited and usually lead to marriage. Now, people get to know each other whilst having sex which on a biological level bonds people and blinds them to each others compatibilities. People who maybe shouldn't be together end up being together and it not working out down the line, or they know and do end things once they come to their senses and the honeymoon period fades but this causes a lot of heartbreak in the process. In the past people would experience maybe 2-3 heartbreaks over a lifetime of long relationships, now we experience this by our mid 20's or sooner which traumatises us, causes bitterness, baggage and distrust between the genders. We'v almost objectified everything in our consumerist society, even people. Dating apps feel like a catalogue swiping through objects rather than humans and its as if we've become disposable.

 

If everyone was to follow the casual dating approach to find the perfect one and find what we like, doesn't that process ruin the very society of people you want to have that relationship in? Meaning, the collateral and emotional damage casual dating causes, ruins our ability and others to bond and be happy in future relationships due to baggage, becoming embittered of the opposite gender etc to the point of giving up, becoming hopeless/nihilistic regarding relationships which are the corner stone of human happiness (we are social species). We bring our past to our current relationships, maybe past lovers pull us to cheat etc or the hope of what if, what next or what if theres someone better out there. Another short sighted trope in the red pill /conservative groups is marry virgin or 1-2 body count girls, not realising these girls can also feel the pull of fomo and wanting to see whats out there. Many girls marrying young end up breaking up in their later 20's to explore their options whilst their still youthful for example.

 

Its a weird paradox I can't get my head around and don't know what the future looks like for modern relationships at this point. The way the culture/society is has people who are in a relationship who haven't seen whats out there get feelings of FOMO as @Yarco pointed out (feeling of sexual debt). In the past we wouldn't be teased by these options because casual sex wasn't allowed and dating apps, big cities where we have access to millions of people etc didn't exist. The grass isn't always green on the other side but just where you water it maybe. 

 

I can envision us becoming serial monogamist's  (no more monogamy for life or very long term relationships ie over 7+ years until people get to their old age and want someone to ride off into the sunset with) with a small sub group experimenting with polyamory but most people won't be cut out for it due to jealousy etc. 

Edited November 24, 2021 by zazen

[Raze]

12 hours ago, Yarco said:

I'm married now and I regret not having sex with more women first.

If you don't get it out of your system, you'll always be daydreaming and wondering "what if". You never got a chance to sleep with X or Y kind of girl. In the long term I think it will probably make you more predisposed to cheating.

Unless you get an uncureable STD or a girl pregnant, I don't think you'll ever regret having more sex before settling down.

Our education system does a huge disservice by scaring kids through sex ed to the point of traumatizing them against having sex. I had so many opportunities to have sex with girls that I passed up early on for fear that I'd catch AIDS or get her pregnant even with a condom the first time I had sex. Fuck that shit, it ruined my life and so much potential enjoyment.

You aren't doing some moral thing, by the time you're 20 years old every chick has fucked at least a dozen dudes, probably more like 30. The body counts I hear from average-looking women is astounding. You're just kneecapping yourself. Don't try to be some noble knight, just fuck bitches.

not necessarily, more partners is correlated with less marriage satisfaction

[somegirl]

12 hours ago, Yarco said:

You aren't doing some moral thing, by the time you're 20 years old every chick has fucked at least a dozen dudes, probably more like 30.

Damn, your poor wife with a man who thinks this way... 

Edited November 24, 2021 by somegirl

[somegirl]

12 hours ago, Yarco said:

Our education system does a huge disservice by scaring kids through sex ed to the point of traumatizing them against having sex. I had so many opportunities to have sex with girls that I passed up early on for fear that I'd catch AIDS or get her pregnant even with a condom the first time I had sex. Fuck that shit, it ruined my life and so much potential enjoyment.

Though, this is sooo freaking true