Nihilistic Thoughts And Overactive Mind

[retardedhorse1]

Hello everyone,

so a few days ago this thought has manifested in my mind, that everything is actually totally meaningless.I mean thats kind of obvious, but it has turned into an obsession where im constantly observing myself and questioning everything that i actually enjoy doing.Such as my girlfriend, hobbies, even the tase of food lol.

It goes something like this: " oh i am enjoying myself right now" " but this is totally meaningless" and there goes the enjoyment and i get a hit of anxiety.

I have realized that every meaning is completely subjective and what you like doing is essentially very arbitrary.Now its a question of how you interpret that.There is the saying " you can choose to be happy" and thats exactly right.But for me its kind of a sad thought, because it implies that nothing is actually absolute.

I know this whole thing is a stupid mind game, and that when im not thinking everything is fine again.But the last few days it has really become a viscious circle of deconstructive mind activity and constant self observation, which leads to extreme anxiety.And somehow feeling bad seems kind of more valid than feeling good, which i know is totally fucked up.Usually at the end of the day, my mind cant handle it anymore and just shuts down and i suddenly feel better than ever as i am very present and relaxed.

I guess i have made the mistake of taking some of the spiritual teachings as constructs and i am now using them against me.I need to learn to allow myself feeling great.Yes in the end its all arbitrary, but there is no need to interpret that as a bad thing.

Some help would be highly appreciated!!

[Alicja_]

Maybe, instead of allowing yourself to feel great, first,  just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel? 

It is not meaningless to you that you enjoy yourself, or is it? And your feelings? They are of some importance to you. Let it be this way. You don't have to encourage yourself to feel meaningless based on some  teachings or, I don't know, based on anything you study now. You don't have to rehsape your identity or the system of your " values" relying on that.  Just allow yourself to be who you are and feel what you feel, and explore your full potential. Do it for yourself.

Okay, let's say that life is meaningless. Yeah, we are just a tiny, itsy bit of universe. But our life matters to us and that's why we choose to live and grow and explore our potential. Rather than degenerate into ashes. We  can bring a lot of benefits to ourselves and also to our close society.

We can choose to mean nothing. Or we can choose to mean a lot. To ourselves. And to others around us. Fuck the rest of the unvierse if you have to.

[Empty]

@retardedhorse1 Only the mind creates drama. The point of spiritual enghlinment is to be unconditionly happy. 

 

 

[vizual]

You say that you have realized that everything is completely meaningless and subjective. Yet at the same time you interpret the words in your head as incredibly full of meaning and totally objective. Also, if you know that everything is meaningless then whether you feel good or bad is also meaningless, yet you seem to desire to feel good in stead of bad. 

[Raquel]

@retardedhorse1 It seems that you are getting in a emotional spiral about these thoughts. Your ego is getting attacked and the way he finds to defend itself is by making you feel resistant to experience enjoyment.

Not getting emotional about it will give you a more concrete perspective on this...will help you not get lost in this current of thoughts and instead, just become aware that your mind is having them (not you).

Try question yourself very honestly, what is the root of this thoughts and why they make you feel sad. Keep questioning the answers you give yourself until you know the very deep root of it.

Don't worry... having this thoughts and feeling "flat". It's a very common fase. Soon you will be experiencing a greater enjoyment than ever before! ?

[retardedhorse1]

Thanks everyone, ill definitely get over this!