How to get let in clubs solo

[Jacob Morres]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Again I see this as social conditioning, as though getting sex by other means should be demonized for some reason. Here I'm not talking about love or relationship. It's only about sex. So if someone isn't able to get sex in usual or social ways, they can resort to such means to get their sexual desires fulfilled, gender being irrelevant. I don't see a problem with it, instead of thinking of it as something horrible or garbage, I see it as a suitable alternative for those who have a high sex drive and have been sex deprived for long. I absolutely don't see any problem with it. Anything against is a deeply held social belief that anyone who wants to satisfy themselves this way is a loser, which shouldn't have to be. 

 

Maybe a better way to explain it would be

How would you feel if the only way you could get a boyfriend is if you had to pay them?

But then again, maybe to even really understand that you'd have to go through that 

Edited November 22, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Preety_India it is never just sex! Most of guys hiring prostitutes don't want just sex. If they did, they would by themselves a sex doll or a flashlight for 100 bucks. They likely crave intimacy and attention from a female that they want to get through sex. 

Wether you accept it or not, if you decide to hire a prostitute, you probably have an underlying belief that you won't be able to find a person who will be genuinely interested in having sex or something more with you. And I can't comprehend why you are not able too see that this belief can be extremely painful...

It is the same as if every guy you ever met in your life told you that they would never want to be in a relationship with you because you have a boring personality, or bad looks, or whatever and that you are basically only good for one night stand and getting them off while they are too drunk to care about who they have sex with as long as it is moving. 

Imagine you said that you are hurt by what's written above and I told you that  you are only hurt of that because of your "social conditioning" and that actually there is nothing wrong with accepting being used by guys like that if you don't have any other option. 

I don't agree with this at all. If I were (which I have never) to hire a male escort, these thoughts would not even ever cross my mind, I would simply order it like ordering pizza. I wouldn't think emotionally about it, it would be simply for getting sexual pleasure, that is all. I think you probably don't get my point. 

It could be completely reverse. It could be that I've a great personality yet the sex I received from most guys was boring or average and I want to be adventurous and I want mind blowing sex and maybe that's the reason I want to hire an expert or professional who knows how to offer that. Plus paying someone to have sex or give sex is far safer and better than going on a one night stand with some weird stranger who is just drunk or wants to use me for a one night stand, that is hurtful rather than pleasurable and kinda weird why I would subject myself to such a weird experience. Rather I would spend my money safely on a service that makes me feel happy. It's almost ordering massage service, I'm not going to feel used that way plus my urges are fulfilled for the night. Maybe the male prostitute or escort can give me the hottest sex, remember sex generates hormones of feeling relaxed, loved, accepted. So sexual affection is also something. Plus escorts are not exactly only for sex as you're being led to believe. 

Some escorts provide services (or at least I saw this on a show or documentary) where they spend a lot of time with you, chatting and listening so you feel loved and cared for, it almost becomes like a relationship, rather a professional relationship where you meet them every week at a specific rate and they are tied to you like a regular service. They will spend hours with you and you get not only sex but also venting your issues and talking. Some guys get addicted to that and keep coming back to the same prostitute or escort every week. It almost becomes like a relationship, yet it has no foundation, it is just a way of feeling good. 

Honestly I don't judge how someone chooses to make themselves happy. The escorts business is a billion dollar industry. So a lot of people pay escorts to get easy sex. 

The only two fears that are prevalent are the fear of being robbed or the fear of Stds. Other than that the fears or concerns one might have are the same that one has while sleeping with a stranger. In fact sleeping with a stranger on a one night stand is rather risky and dangerous. Whereas an escort from an escort agency is probably safe because of ratings and reviews and the fact that they are hired by these companies by doing background checks so they won't hire malicious individuals. 

I would actually prefer the sex industry to grow in the future. Especially for women. Because I rarely ever hear about male prostitutes. And women need to be open to this idea. There should be bars or clubs like stripper bars for women to hang out with male escorts dressed like the male version of playboy bunny. I don't see the harm. Women want fun too, especially safe fun. They can hang out with a guy who is not only experienced sexually but is also offering his company and is good at chatting up the woman. It doesn't have to be something bad or nefarious. In fact for some men this could be a delightful job, not only do they get sex but also money for the kind of sex they offer and the pleasure to sleep with multiple female clients. This could be amazing if looked at without judgement or suspicion and if the security measures are taken good care. I find it ethical if it is done in an ethical manner where people are screened for background verification, Stds screening, and only "safe" people are hired to do the job so clients aren't robbed or mistreated. This can be an ethical business. 

In fact I'm looking forward to a future where selling sex in such a way would be made ethical and safer. It's almost like selling food. I also don't see any problem with it. In fact those who enjoy such things might love such a job as long as safety is considered on both sides.. That is the client should also be equally safe with background checks etc. This seems to be a safer way of experiencing sexual intimacy rather than taking the risk of sleeping with a stranger whose background you are probably not very sure about, especially if they are drunk. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

12 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

How would you feel if the only way you could get a boyfriend is if you had to pay them?

Or it could become reverse where someone brags about hiring an expensive escort.

[Jacob Morres]

@Preety_India no bcuz the topic was leo talking about not being wanted/desirable and the only way someone would do it with you is if they got paid 

[Preety_India]

@Something Funny I'm not going to believe a bunch of posts on the internet. Whatever I have said is speculative but it's not bad or far fetched. It's not like men don't hire them, they do it all the time. Yes of course it's not a substitute for a relationship, it's only meant for sex. Religious and cultural beliefs tend to demonize this side of things and make it seem or look dirty or bad or unholy. 

[Javfly33]

You can buy sex. But You can't buy the "psychological aspect" that guys are pursuing when pursuing sex. The validation high. That self-esteem-profound self-love wound that runs deeper than the ocean. 

The mindfuck is that girls think men are crazy for sex, but it's just a means to an end, what they really crave is the validation and the "yes, I am loved and sexually desired by a girl I consider high value!". That is more worth than 50 hired-escort sex experiences!  @Preety_India

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I agree that there are some people like you who only want sexual pleasure and do not think too deeply about the process

Lmao don't get me wrong. I'm not like that at all. I have never hired anyone. I was only saying that I won't judge it or I don't see anything wrong with it. I love deep intimacy and connection and emotional bonding. In fact I have never had casual sex. I only have LTR, long term relationship and I have never slept with some stranger or engaged in casual sex. I don't believe in only satisfying sexual needs because I'm an emotional kind of person who loves emotional connection and affection. I am the lovey dovey poet type. 

But like I said I don't demonize or think bad about those who want to fulfill their wants by commercial means.. 

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

You can buy sex. But You can't buy the "psychological aspect" that guys are pursuing when pursuing sex. The validation high. That self-esteem-profound self-love wound that runs deeper than the ocean. 

The mindfuck is that girls think men are crazy for sex, but it's just a means to an end, what they really crave is the validation and the "yes, I am loved and sexually desired by a girl I consider high value!". That is more worth than 50 hired-escort sex experiences!  @Preety_India

Whatever I said was only in the context of sex, not intimacy. Some people are probably not very interested in intimacy, maybe they are not that emotional. It's different for everyone.. No craving is holier than thou, even validation to be desired is an ego validation, not better or superior to a primal sex craving. You see. 

 

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

At least this random weird stranger genuinely finds you attract and is not an emotionless robot.

I don't know why it's supposed to be an emotionless robot. What's the point of emotions anyway if it's just going to be a one night stand anyway, I don't see any depth. Isn't that like being used? I don't see anything robotic about a hired person unless you're already approaching it with that frame. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

Most people who hire prostitutes have shitty lives, they are often very depressed and unfulfilled and that's a fact.

There are millionaires and billionaires who do this because they don't want the burden and hassle of a girlfriend or wife, divorce, child support etc etc. You really think they have shitty lives. 

[Javfly33]

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Whatever I said was only in the context of sex, not intimacy. Some people are probably not very interested in intimacy, maybe they are not that emotional. It's different for everyone.. No craving is holier than thou, even validation to be desired is an ego validation, not better or superior to a primal sex craving. You see. 

 

I´m not sure if I understand you correctly here.

Imo, most hired-sex is for the above reasons I said.

Primal sex craving can easily "be cured" with masturbation. 

I´m a virgin and unless I do nofap, I could go on for 50 years more without sex. Because if I fap regularly, I feel fine. My brain doesn't seem to know that the sex it's getting (masturbation) is fake .

It's the craving to be desired by opposite sex, intimacy and ego validation that basically drives the guy like a madman. Particularly when he is very deprived of love (yes, love through sex validation is fake and non-spiritual but... it just runs deep. It can't be deconsctrued easily. You are better suited if you just surrender to it and get it once and for all).

That's why I find hard to believe that there are people that just have " a whole lotta fun " with escorts. Its just... physical pleasure without the psychological high in males is not much of a big deal. 

 

19 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

There are millionaires and billionaires who do this because they don't want the burden and hassle of a girlfriend or wife, divorce, child support etc etc. You really think they have shitty lives. 

Although there is definitely an audience like that, I still think the majority of users is not that they don't want the burden of a girlfriend, is that they can't have a girlfriend to have sex with.

This reminds me of the multiple conversations Ive had with Financial Online Dominatrix (not professionals, but these teens that they just want their Amazon cart bought or latest shoes paid) I've talked to when I have asked about how they feel about their clients to, they think Financial Submissives are this high end guys that just have so money to spend and have lots of stress and do bdsm to let go and step out of their leadership role in real life. 

...When the reality is that they do that because they have the self-esteem of point of suicide, absolutely no sex, and most of them are in no way rich. 

It's such a naive and hunky-dory narrative that it's even cute. 

[Preety_India]

@Something Funny @Something Funny

I agree with some of your points like finding someone who is passionate about their job, I guess that's the harder part. Yet I don't find it unhealthy or bad. 

Now I'm not demonizing gaming but look at it this way. Let's see I am approached by a stranger at a club who is hot and handsome and knows how to attract me. I'm feeling attracted to him, I kinda develop feelings and we end up having sex in his car or something. But after that he is a no show, meanwhile I might have this expectation to find something more to it and feel disappointed that there wasn't a second date. Or that I found him sleeping with another the next night. I think I might feel used that way or might feel depressed because my expectation was squashed. I would probably be less likely to sleep with a stranger again because I wouldn't want a repeat experience. In that case if i find a male stripper /escort who is willing to give me his company for the night and I simply have to pay for it, I might not feel so used because it's just a contract, I might not have any expectations beyond that contract, I'm not exactly having any feelings about it so no need to feel hurt or abandoned or disappointed in any way because there is nothing to look forward to, plus if I'm feeling lonely or sexually deprived, it's a good way of having company as well as sexual satisfaction. I would find it better than feeling dumped after being pumped by some random hot club dude. 

 

[Preety_India]

20 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I don't want to sound judgemental, but there is very little chance that I will consider a girl I met at a night club or party and had casual sex with as a candidate for a serious relationship. Those types of girls are just not my cup of tea.

@Something Funny @Something Funny

I have always believed in serious relationships because of how emotional I can be. I don't want to sound judgemental either, but clubbing is just not my cup of tea either. I have actually never been to a club. I don't see that as a place for serious relationships. Also I wouldn't want to hook up with men who hang out at clubs for the same reason that you stated. Your reasons helped me understand my own reasons as to why I avoid such places. 

Thanks for sharing, as it helped me refine my own perspective a bit. (I was kinda too confused about this whole clubbing thing that I need to stop thinking about.) 

 

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Preety_India I think we have the same issue here ))

I don't like parties and clubs. I am an introverted guys and prefer day game and going on dates much more.

Until recently, I have been actively hating on people who party, go to clubs, and have one night stands. And would rationalise my insecurity by saying that they are dumb, they are not serious about their lives, they are bad people, etc. But deep down I knew that I was only doing that because I was insecure and envious of  other people being able to socialise, connect with each other, have sex, etc., and me sitting in my room all day long. 

That's why I think it is important for me to get out of my comfort zone and do some partying, clubbing, one night stands, etc.,  until I stop treating it as a big deal and just become indifferent towards it and people who are into that kind of stuff vs being judgmental.

Also, when learning pickup, I think that night game is a more ethical option actually. Lets say I don't want to get into a relationship right now, cause I want to improve my dating skills. If I meet a girl during the day, and we go on multiple dates, and have sex, then I will feel bad about leaving her (even if it's just 3-4 dates). While if I meet a girl at a club, then I know that she shouldn't expect anything serious and don't have to worry about hurting her. 

The only other solution for that moral dilemma that I can find is practicing only on hot, bitchy girls so that I don't feel bad about dumping them cause I know she will be able to find a new guy the next day and will forget about me, lol.
 

I think maybe you have a shadow about it as you have stated already. I'm an introvert and too shy to be around groups of people. 

But my problem is not the you stated. Like I don't have any issue or insecurity regarding people having fun or clubbing. It's only that I didn't know how to place myself in that context and that generated conflict. So I'm not envious of them. It's only that I find it annoying that people pressure me to do that or accept it which I can't because I just don't like it. It's just not my thing. I was thinking about it for too long and constantly resisting it, but also wondering why I make such a big deal out of it, that's because of the resistance I have towards it. Now I understand finally why I was being so resistant to it, it's because it doesn't fit my emotional pattern or emotional needs. So it's best for me to not think about it too much as it doesn't emotionally serve my purpose ultimately. 

[soos_mite_ah]

10 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

If I meet a girl during the day, and we go on multiple dates, and have sex, then I will feel bad about leaving her (even if it's just 3-4 dates).

You can make it known in situations like these that you're just looking for a fwb. And there ya go, it's ethical.

[soos_mite_ah]

10 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Do you think I should be telling it to girls during the first date?

Yes. Everyone needs to know what they are getting into in order to consent to the situation and not be emotionally manipulated/taken advantage off. Asking someone what they are looking for is a pretty standard question to ask on a first date. It's also not a good idea to drag something on if yall aren't on the same page. 

6 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

also, I am just not sure if I could emotionally handle having sex with person while not being in a committed relationship with them.

But you think that going to parties you don't enjoy to have a bunch of one night stands is going to help? 

7 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

An ideal situation for me would be to go on a few dates, then have sex, and then break up before we are too much into each other.

That's literally how fwb works.

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

what if I didn't have sex with them? For example I could go on about 3 dates, escalate physically, but not going further than kissing. Get to the point where I can confidently say that there is an attraction between us and that she would be willing to have sex with me if I initiated it, and then get out. Yeah, I won't develop sexual mastery that way, but at least I will be able to practice all the other aspects of game.

It's fine if you don't have sex with them. Like you said, you'll still be able to practice other aspects.  

[something_else]

1 minute ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Asking someone what they are looking for is a pretty standard question to ask on a first date

Is it? It can also be a really really quick way to kill the vibe and evaporate attraction from both parties. You don't want to be having the 'what are we' conversation on your first date, at least I fucking don't. I'd take that as a red flag if a girl was asking that on a first date and I certainly wouldn't ask it, I want it to be chill

It should be kinda obvious from the setup/sub-communication going on anyway

[soos_mite_ah]

2 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

There is some truth in his words, right? I will be drastically increasing chances of being rejected if I ask this question, right?

No, this is the best way to ensure that you don't waste your time or her time while being clear and honest with your intentions. If anything, a person being upfront with their intentions, even if it doesn't align with yours, is a green flag. This isn't even the "what are we" conversation because if you're on a first date, you don't know each other yet and there is no commitment whatsoever. It's more along the lines of "do we have the same goals" conversation. 

And yes, you are risking rejection but if a girl is genuinely down for that dynamic, she will appreciate you being upfront about it and you don't have to manipulate her into this dynamic because she actually wants to be there. If she wants a relationship and that's not what you're looking for, that's perfectly fine. Keep it moving and find someone else who aligns with what you want. 

8 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@soos_mite_ah I know it sounds bad and unconscious, but I have this strange desire of approaching and dating some hot bitchy girl and dumping her afterwards. Basically treating her as practice material.  I guess it's bitterness in me speaking out. And I am not sure if I should act on that desire or not.

Yes this is bitterness and no don't act it out. It will feed the bitterness.

[Leo Gura]

27 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

how do you deal with this issue? Do you just get into a relationship if you find a girl you like or do you decide not to because you want to practice game more?

That's a very difficult issue. In practice to get good at game you have to not settle down for a while. But girls will not like it. So there is an ethical trade off there. If you are pulling from clubs it's gonna be easier not to settle down vs doing dating. Dating sets up an expectation that you want her as your GF. She will tend to expect that. So one way to go is to wear your player frame very upfront, so she's not confusing you for BF material.

But even so, most girls will want to make you exclusive if you sleep with them more than once.

There is a good reason why most guys are not great at game: you basically have to have very little empathy for the girls to pull it off. The more selfish you are, the more girls you will get. There's no way around that. Girls love to sleep with detached sociopathic players.

I am not telling what to do, I am telling you the realities of attraction.

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura This whole process of learning game is such a pain in the ass to be honest, haha. I just want to have someone to cuddle with and say nice things to :(((

Yeah, I get it. I am the same way.

But girls are not attracted to that. They don't care about cuddling with you until you fuck them.

6 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura

What about that approach? I know you will probably say that it is a shit idea, but is it really that ineffective?

Of course you could run all of game and just never close. But in practice game is so challenging that by the time you reach the point of closing you will be eager to close and also she will want you to close. She will feel bad if you take it that far and then just reject her. Girls suck at handling rejection like that.