No desire to work anymore. Every job I take I want to quit first day

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

All this spiritual shit and health issues, living in the same town, etc. I just feel so disconnected from society after Covid, I have social anxiety from being alone so much, and my body physically can hardly handle a 5 hour shift. 
 

I get home and want to fucking break everything because I have so much anger that I’m 23 living in my home town, working with fucking teenagers in a mall. Like what the Fuck? Chasing spiritual enlightenment at 18 was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done. 
 

It feels like I can’t fit in society anymore. No job is satisfying. I feel like I just want to live at home working on my music, and isolate some more. Or maybe that’s self deception. Working just gives me no joy. Starting a new job is so stressful and everyone is so low conscious at this retail place I want to die. 
 

(first day, so I’m being dramatic, however, I’ve quit every other job first day last 9 months I start and leave -2jobs so far)

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

And it seems like I don’t want to be around society or at a retail store; because why do people need to consume more? They don’t NEED any of this shit. It’s all ego. I’m just burnt out from all the suffering and misery in this desolate planet right now. So much darkness is coming out I can’t handle it. 

[B_HAZ]

Build a support group and find a job that is close to the thing you're passionate about I think you need someone to keep you accountable\ call you on your bullshit and prevent you from sabotaging yourself if you cant hire a life coach find someone who had gone through this to support you  
 

[Bob Seeker]

Though pill to swallow. Maybe pick a field you think you’d benefit from learning more about through the work you do. There are many jobs not too difficult to get where you could learn almost endlessly

[Average Investor]

It might be good for you to work on integrating this with your spiritual devlopment. Read the ten ox herding pictures if you haven't already. 

You could also work on reframing how you look at it. Why not build some goals with the income there? Since maybe you are in retail you could use that to get better at talking to girls? Why not practice socializing there? 

I've never not learned something valuable from any job I have had. Even if I hated it, or it was bad pay with a lot of work. 

Also, you could start applying for more jobs that you would be more passionate about, or interested in. 

Edited November 19, 2021 by Average Investor

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@Average Investor @Bob Seeker @B_HAZ thank you so much guys. This really helped. 

I work at a 100% girls retail store in the mall, with sexy chicks walking in on a minute to minute basis. So, not knowing where stuff is and shit can get embarrassing/intimidating, when hot girls see you’re clueless about your job. 
 

The whole point and vision I took this job was to get my fashion style on point, experience talking to sexy women and get paid for it, and get integrated into society. 
 

Im also going to brainwash myself with mastery concepts again. 

[ItsNick]

15 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

I have social anxiety from being alone so much

15 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

It feels like I can’t fit in society anymore.

Yeah... isolation can do that.

I guess early in life when going to school and through college your "social life" and "role in society" is more automatic and unconscious and it's much easier because of that.

And it's hard after that to figure out how to live a social life or be a member of society. But on the upside: Now you get to consciously create it...

 

 

I'm sorry for your bad experiences. But it's possible to heal simply by socializing again in a healthy way. I was going through similar things as you (at least socially) and set a general long-term goal for myself to significantly improve my satisfaction with my social life.

I had a lot of bad experiences while working towards that goal but by being persistent I found some people I can really connect with after about 9 months of work. I also found a better way to balance being introverted and being in solitude (and not feeling lonely, Leo's recent videos on this topic are amazing for this too) and socializing. Other aspects of my social and sexual life are much better now too.

The good experiences really do help to heal. You gotta learn to forget about the failures and accept them as necessary.

 

It's important you really sit down (multiple times over a longer period of time) and contemplate what you want out of your "social life." And then set a number of concrete goals to work towards. By having this goal in your mind you also start to notice you can learn a lot just by observing how others do it or people similar to you. Also watch a lot of YouTube videos on this, read about these topics, and take a lot of action.

[Lyubov]

You’re 23 man trust me when I say this but you have plenty of time to plant a new field of crops. I would try to focus on your life purpose now and getting something more financially stable and work you enjoy. It sucks being in your home town I can relate. Set your goal to relocate as well. Can also do the same job in a bigger city and live with roommates. Great way to make friends. Doesn’t have to be totally shit like it is now. 

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@ItsNick @Lyubov amazing advice you two. I really appreciate. I will take action on this stuff and get working on my life purpose again. I got so sidetracked with detox/spirituality and now the balance is off again. So frustrating about life how you can never relax. There’s always an area of your life that gets fucked when you improve another one

[Average Investor]

On 11/19/2021 at 7:54 AM, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

The whole point and vision I took this job was to get my fashion style on point, experience talking to sexy women and get paid for it, and get integrated into society. 

So it sounds like you have some stuff to work on there then. 

 

A big part of enjoying something is really just the attitude towards it. When I worked at burger king I actually had a good bit of fun. I convinced them to let me do the register instead of preparing burgers and stuff. The customers loved me. I actually got three job offers just while running the inside cash register for maybe 6 months or so. I would try to beat the cash register on adding up the totals before it would. That and just had a good attitude and went above my position. 

Set some things for you to do or work on that makes it fun. Maybe you get work on trying to get the ladies to laugh? Or just to simply make it fun in some way. 

[Nahm]

On 11/19/2021 at 10:54 AM, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

Im also going to brainwash myself with mastery concepts again

Well don’t do that. 

On 11/18/2021 at 11:53 PM, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

All this spiritual shit

Conceptualizing isn’t spiritual per se, it’s aversion.  Inspecting direct experience is (so to speak) spirituality, or, the other than conceptual aversion. Without an inflated contextualized self image, it’s as simple as it’s your first day on the job and nobody’s expecting you to know anything. But to uphold the inflated self image concept, this seems ludicrous (probably). 

[Guest EmptyVase]

On 19.11.2021 at 5:53 AM, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

I get home and want to fucking break everything because I have so much anger that I’m 23 living in my home town, working with fucking teenagers in a mall. Like what the Fuck? Chasing spiritual enlightenment at 18 was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done. 
 

It feels like I can’t fit in society anymore. No job is satisfying. I feel like I just want to live at home working on my music, and isolate some more. Or maybe that’s self deception. Working just gives me no joy. Starting a new job is so stressful and everyone is so low conscious at this retail place I want to die. 

“We're here to awaken from the illusion of separateness.”

 

“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.”

 

 “I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

 

“The next message you need is always right where you are.”

 

“Learn to watch your drama unfold, while at the same time knowing you are more than your drama.”

 

“As you find the light in you, you begin to see the light in everyone else.”

 

- Ram Dass

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@B_HAZ @Bob Seeker @Average Investor @ItsNick @Lyubov @Nahm @EmptyVase Thanks again for all the valuable insight, everyone. 
 

I have Adrenal Burnout after 13 hours of working/2 days. I’m exhausted beyond belief and my adrenals are fucked right now. I can hardly prepare food. 
 

What do I do to recover for work tomorrow? After tomorrow I get 3 days to rest.
 

I’m eating grapes and that should help, but I’m not sure if fasting is good for adrenal burnout? 

[Javfly33]

On 19/11/2021 at 4:54 PM, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

@Average Investor @Bob Seeker @B_HAZ thank you so much guys. This really helped. 

I work at a 100% girls retail store in the mall, with sexy chicks walking in on a minute to minute basis. So, not knowing where stuff is and shit can get embarrassing/intimidating, when hot girls see you’re clueless about your job. 

Now you seriously gotta be kidding me. That's my dream job. (well not that I would work there for ever or I would change my career for it, but I would have liked to work in such a place for some time).

@EntheogenTruthSeeker What is adrenal burnout by the way? Are you taking too much coffee? Do you use kratom? 

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@Javfly33 I am grateful for it. I’m just spoiled and health issues make it very hard to see the good of pushing my body past it’s capabilities daily. For what? 
 

Ive abused adderall/coffee/nicotine/fast food/heavy protein/ proper dosage of pharmaceuticals for bipolar (in the past for 8 years), so they’re still damaged after a two month detox. 
 

I’m currently sober- only edibles and mushrooms. These are the only things and grapes that help. 

[Average Investor]

2 minutes ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

only edibles and mushrooms.

I would have a suspicion that edibles could be a cause for low energy. Stress can really play a big factor in that too. 

If you are able to maybe go try a float tank, message, or just invest at least a day into some relaxing recovery. 

With cutting out substances I know how it can get energy wise. You sometimes just have those days that are rough. It took me a few years to not have any sort of nicotine withdraw. Although, after the first month or so it was substantially easier. 

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

@B_HAZ @Bob Seeker @Average Investor @ItsNick @Lyubov @Nahm @EmptyVase Thanks again for all the valuable insight, everyone. 
 

I have Adrenal Burnout after 13 hours of working/2 days. I’m exhausted beyond belief and my adrenals are fucked right now. I can hardly prepare food. 
 

What do I do to recover for work tomorrow? After tomorrow I get 3 days to rest.
 

I’m eating grapes and that should help, but I’m not sure if fasting is good for adrenal burnout? 

I would really just start at base camp and really prioritize eating some healthy food, getting enough sleep and doing a bit of exercise. The fundamentals. If you nailed that right there for some time I’m telling you, you would be feeling good enough to start strategizing for a better job.

[Nahm]

@EntheogenTruthSeeker

Dreamboard is kind of miraculous in that when you see more of what you do want, you realize the job you have, is because you want it. Fine to want another one too. Dreamboard and emotional scale help a lot with changing the habit of putting focus on what you don’t want, don’t like, etc. 

Sounds like in the bigger picture you’re doing pretty damn good man. Most important thing imo is taking the time everyday to deeply relax. 

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@Average Investor @Lyubov @Nahm doing basically all things suggested here. It’s not my routines, it’s the added stress that my body can not handle as it’s too abrupt for my nervous system. Take away which doesn’t work, not fix what is already fucked by adding. I appreciate the advice, just feel like I need to quit cause it’s not worth it.
 

I feel like a failure, but my health is very bad right now. It feels like spiritually too, I want to hibernate and prepare for this new spiritual age. I have a lot of development to do, and I’m really scared. I feel like now is the best time to do the inner work. 
 

I’m thinking about quitting tomorrow. This is not worth going to another hospital because of stress. I haven’t been able to move today. Severe adrenal burnout. 

[Nahm]

@EntheogenTruthSeeker

Visit a doctor about the adrenal.