Your Most Important Life Experiences

[Vercingetorix]

Would really appreciate if you could share stuff that you have done that helped you the most understand yourself and what you want in your life, stuff that grew you the most. in general it will be stuff that pushed you out of your comfort zone I would guess but I would like some concrete experiences. I'm in a point that lack of life experience makes me doubt my life purpose so I need some ideas for stuff I can do that will help me understand myself.

So what was it for you? maybe going to live in a completely new city/country? doing some extreme sports? volunteering in some projects? hiking? drugs?

 

[Christian]

What has grown me the most and has been one of the most challenging journeys is my experience with meditation. I have done over a year of meditation on and off. Meditation has made me a lot more aware of how I affect others around me and what my body/intuition is communicating. It has made me more calm and peaceful because I have realized that I am already a hole human being and I am much less attached to ideas/concepts that I were in the past. Much more open minded. 

Other than that, I would say that my parents divorce and the way my brother treated me in the past has grown me stronger. It gave me a tougher character to persevere through the challenges of life. 

Hope that was useful and merry xmas btw??

 

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

My girlfriend had dumped me and started sleeping with a friend of mine, childhood traump started showing up and I had free time almost 24/7 due to almost no school. I started meditating 3-6 hour per day and spent many hours in nature and my knees where injured so it hurt like hell and acceptance of all of that happened. I was thrown into some weird state and everything felt spontanious, my peronality was hilarious and I cried and laughed all day long, insights bombarding me all the time from out o nowhere. This weird state lasted for about a month I think. I was certain that it was an awakening experience but I got it comfirmed by a Zen master that it wasn't one but it was defenitely one of the most important experiences of my life.

Another important experience was living in a Zen monestery for a few weeks. The living wasn't really special but what it gave me was important. It got me what I needed but not what I wanted.

[Vercingetorix]

@Christian yeah it helped, I am slacking a bit in my meditation routine so it increases my motivation. merry Xmas

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj sounds similar to what i'm experiencing when suddenly I accept everything that happens to me, a kind of trust in  the universe dawns on me and everything becomes effortless and easy, the mind drops by itself. though for me it lasts only for a few days.

what do you mean exactly  that it gave you what you needed? a kind of wake up call? Is it in general OK to come live in a monastery for a short period of time, for some reason I thought they would accept me only if i'm willing to stay for at least a year.

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

I wanted to have an "awakening awakening" but it left me with an awakening that I have unresolved things from my childhood and also need more life experience. Didn't expect it at all but really grateful for it!  

It varies from place to place. In Sogenji, Japan I think it's about one year. In Antaiji it is three years. But these places are mostly visited by Westerners in Japan. I heard of a place in Japan where a woman who stayed there wanted to stay there for two weeks, the Roshi said a month at least. At the place I lived at you can stay there for just one day of that is what you want. I'm pretty sure that in most monasteries it's not mandatory to stay for a longer time. I guess it varies if you go to the east or the west.

[Lawrence]

Overcoming an anxiety condition which i suffered from for most of my life about 3 years ago which made my existence here on earth a living nightmare! =)

 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! =D

Edited December 25, 2016 by Lawrence

[Shin]

Getting my first girlfriend -> Understanding that a relationship can't fulfill you.

Meditation habit + mindfulness 24/24 -> I can now see when homeostasis kicks in (I can no longer bullshit myself), I don't judge people anymore, I accept life as it is,  I'm very peaceful.

Reading lots of books about psychology/spirituality -> You gradually start to see your body/mind as a tool that you can improve, in order to pursue whatever life you (don't) want to have.

It only suffice to embody one good book habits/mindset to start to understand that you can change so much stuff about you !

 

Generally speaking, whatever the things you fear to do, are the actions that'll grow you the most .

 

 

[Annie]

Being sexually assaulted was the most unpleasant experience but I learned from it nevertheless. It took many years but I eventually overcame the fears it caused me.

Moving to a different country. A third world country where the entire culture is different from what you're used to. I will never forget the first time a small child came begging to me. I experienced a lot of friendship and belonging. Something I miss dearly (I moved back "home" after 5 years).

Childbirth (twice). The first time was extremely exciting and nothing but amazing, the second time things didn't go so smooth and there was a point in which I thought I wouldn't make it and die on the operating table and never see my children again. I have never been so afraid in my life.

Understanding and learning from my early childhood traumas.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

If I think back to my entire lifetime (so far), what immediately stands out are drastic, risky, (even dangerous, lol) *Adventures That Empower*.... especially ones where others told me "you can't do that", "be realistic" etc,..and I achieved my dreams despite silly nay-sayers....(concrete example: driving a 40ft caravan across all of Canada...ENTIRE country...through winter storms, sleeping in ultra-freezing temps, etc, to work in my chosen career)

Now, since I have begun personal development work, I'd say it's similar to the above, but the internal version..... challenging my own nay-saying (lol).... busting my own limiting beliefs, etc,... daring to be brave in the face of internal fears, not just perceived external danger...(concrete example: realizing that many of my fears are irrational concoctions, that I am capable of dispelling them, that I am supported by the universe, etc) 

[Raquel]

Concrete: meditation, quitting the job I didn't like, voluntary work abroad, retreats, consistent yoga practice, move to the countryside, travelling and experiencing cultures, reading, cutting sugar, meat.

Opening the spectrum of what I thought was my preferences, by  experiencing everything that is presented to me..even if I thought I wouldn't like or I couldn't do it.

Edited December 28, 2016 by Raquel

[Guest Annetta]

Hmmmn... what helped me the most to understand myself and what I want in life?

Losing everything - my long-term boyfriend, my health, a friend's boyfriend molested me for almost a year and I was blamed for it and my friends distanced themselves because the girlfriend covered it up, and I had memories of being molested as a child by my father - verified by a psychiatrist - and my family is angry at me for bringing it up, and finally old high school crush offered to take me in but I have all this baggage and everything that I'd been holding back I just sort of vomited up onto this person.  It was too much to deal with all on my own in the span of a year.  It was like, I split into two people.

I really wanted to be with this person because he seemed really loving and really good.  I started putting in the work behind the scenes, like, 6 hours a day of self inquiry, but still couldn't reconcile the split in my personality.  I have to keep a distance from people in order to be good... and I don't like it, because it's a lonely and frightening place to be.

And everything, all that festering soul-rot was brought to the surface and I regurgitated on him, in front of other people.  So there's no more hiding from myself.  And now all that's left in the process of rebuilding and being a better person and hopefully adding some value to the world.  It's the only way I can make it right.

So, loss I guess.  And suffering, and fear, loneliness, repression, lack of confidence, lack of responsibility, being afraid to connect and inadvertently holding a mirror up to my own face has seemed to cause the most growth.

And through it these are the conclusions that I came to.  ^

[Jhonny]

A dear close friend of mine got killed in a road accident. He was with me a few days ago. We were talking life, planning ,stuff,aspirations talk that average folks do. I have seen few relatives die before my eyes but somehow i distanced myself from that by subconsciously believeing they were old. But  when that friend of mine died. It hit me hard. I somehow read the name of man named 'Eckhart Tolle' on internet. I don't know what it was. I was magnetically pulled towards him. That was the start of my spiritual life.

[Lawrence]

On 12/25/2016 at 7:14 PM, Shin said:

Reading lots of books about psychology/spirituality -> You gradually start to see your body/mind as a tool that you can improve, in order to pursue whatever life you (don't) want to have.

Definitely resonate with this! =D

[Shin]

You negociate, you prioritize the thing(s) you need that are the most important right now.

For example, stopping your junkfood addiction before stopping your fapping addiction.

You can't do a lot of stuff at the same time, but ultimately you will backslide on some, so it's not recommanded to change a lot of things in your life at once.

Replacing one bad habit by a healthy habit every two months (or more, untill it becomes natural), is a rule to respect if you want to see true lasting changes in your life.

[Alicja_]

I believe that my most important life experience was when I actually hit the bottom of constant victimizing myself, bumped by severe alcohol addiction and self-harm. There was a point in my life I hated to live. No vision. No love. All I knew was fear.

 And NOW I'm so fucking proud of myself, that I finally smashed the shiny battlefield armor of my deepest fears, and embarked on a journey of self-actualization, at the same time cultivating acceptance and kindness. Of course this armor is still there, yet, getting rustier with time, and more breakable with each bat swing.  I learnt to appreciate the process. I let major changes come naturally. I started to develop love for life. I created a purpose to live. I'm healthier than ever before.

Sometimes, everything seems so perfect, so peaceful, that it actually makes me freak out somewhat. 

And this is just the beginning of the journey. 

 

[Soulbass]

It's not the most important stuff I've experienced in life, but it happened this morning.

Last night I was drinking a beer with someone at a bar, and I told something such as "when you meditate, you can master consciousness skills such as see the future of someone, regarding his/her freewill choices, which influence probabilities. Probabilities may will actualize in reality, or not".

Then this morning, during morning' napes (shorten REM cycles), my Scolecite crystal which I wear during the day around my neck, was on my bedside table. I had a dream, or not really a dream but "sensations" that I could see someone's future, by thinking of him/her (or even myself), and regarding the choices of freewill, will tend to generate "A" or "B" future. It's hard to describe with words, it was mainly feelings, but it felt "real" and not a simple regular dream.

Edited January 15, 2017 by Soulbass

[PetarKa]

@Vercingetorix

Changing my social circle (drastically) - I used to go out every single day during the summer break with friends from my class. It wasn't because we had similar interests or something. It wasn't even because it was fun. They were in my social circle (my friends) because I was incredibly anxious and shy then and I was too afraid to go and find other friends outside of school. Two years ago I saw where this "team" was leading me - partying, drinking, gambling, fights, blindly chasing after bitches, and so forth. It took a lot of time for me to decide to ditch them completely; excuses and fears kept popping up: "What if you can't find any other friends?", "You don't have to ditch them, you can just talk to them.", "Ahh, it's not such a big deal after all, so what if we have a little fun here and there...", etc. Finally, after a lot of delaying I stopped calling them or answering to their calls and they got the message. Now, my present friends are much more uplifting - both for my life and theirs, though I won't go into the details of it. Hope it helped.