SamC

Leo, why do the girls I approach in the club take their friend and leave?.

17 posts in this topic

I went to the club and approached a ton of girls today but most of them took their friend and " ran" away or their friend took them away from me.

What am I doing wrong? They obviosly are not comfortable with me but why do I make them feel that way.

One theory is that my own insecurity gets projected to them eventough I don't see it myself or that I am out of sink with the environment.. meaning, I am "calm" when I approach and it freaks them out cause it's not the context.. like it becomes a bit formal and low energy when it's a high energy environment. It could also be becuase I am unsure what to say and that that projects or that what I say is weak/ boring. I struggle with knowing what to say for it to lead anything so that wouldn't be a suprise if that's the main reason..

Any other thoughts or theories are welcome. What do you say @Leo Gura why do the girls run away?


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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Of course friends will cockblock you A LOT.

You can especially trigger the cockblock by opening physical. If you want the highest chance of success you should learn very solid verbal skills and open less directly, and then also befriend her friends to disarm them.

If you just go in hitting hard on a girl in a group, her friend's will usually get alarmed and go into defense mode.

In a sense, the most effective game is so subtle and indirect that it slips under the radar, so it looks like just friendly socialization to on-lookers. But it still has that sexual intent behind it between you and her. This kind of game is really challenging to learn in my experience. It takes serious skill.

The more you physically escalate in front of all her friends, the more defensive they will usually become. This is the biggest downside of physical game. But of course you can still get away with it in many cases. I have opened girls right in the middle of all her friends and starting grabbing her tits and making out with her within minutes in front of all her friends. It's not the best way to go, but it can certainly work. Sometimes the friends will actually want you to get with her. Some friends are very cool. But some friends will fight you. So watch out.

It might also be your vibe. If you have a creepy, awkward vibe then girls will sense it and flee.

You have to be smiling a lot, having fun, and adding value to the set. If you enter a set trying to leech value from them, they will not like it and blow you out.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course friends will cockblock you A LOT.

You can especially trigger the cockblock by opening physical. If you want the highest chance of success you should learn very solid verbal skills and open less directly, and then also befriend her friends to disarm them.

If you just go in hitting hard on a girl in a group, her friend's will usually get alarmed and go into defense mode.

In a sense, the most effective game is so subtle and indirect that it slips under the radar, so it looks like just friendly socialization to on-lookers. But it still has that sexual intent behind it between you and her. This kind of game is really challenging to learn in my experience. It takes serious skill.

@Leo Gura Hmm yeah interesting! What about when the girl you approach try to find her friend to get herself away from you? What is the reason behind that? Is the solution simply developing better verbal game? Also, last time I made a post about this you gave me the advice that you gotta physically escalate fast in the club. How does that go with being careful with to much physical game from the start? Can you help me make that fine distinction?;)

 


"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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8 minutes ago, SamC said:

@Leo Gura Hmm yeah interesting! What about when the girl you approach try to find her friend to get herself away from you? What is the reason behind that?

Your vibe is off and she feels uncomfortable talking to you. You are probably way too logical, boring, or you can't even hold a conversation. Or you are just uncomfortable in your own body while you stand face to face with her. You are being too socially awkward and you are not creating a fun conversation with her.

Quote

Is the solution simply developing better verbal game?

The solution is be in a better mood/state, be having fun, be comfortable in your body, relax, and have something emotional not logical to talk about.

If you run out of shit to say very early in, then of course this will cause most girls to flee just to avoid the awkward silence of you staring at her like a serial killer.

Quote

Also, last time I made a post about this you gave me the advice that you gotta physically escalate fast in the club. How does that go with being careful with to much physical game from the start? Can you help me make that fine distinction?;)

If the club is super loud and chaotic, then physical fast can work well.

But if you're in a more chill club where girls are just standing around in a circle together and conversation is possible, then you're better off just approaching with verbals only and playing it more chill.

You have to match the vibe of the room and the people you're opening.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Your vibe is off and she feels uncomfortable talking to you. You are probably way too logical, boring, or you can't even hold a conversation. Or you are just uncomfortable in your own body while you stand face to face with her. You are being too socially awkward and you are not creating a fun conversation with her.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Quote

The solution is be in a better mood/state, be having fun, be comfortable in your body, relax, and have something emotional not logical to talk about.

Cool! How do you do that? Is it about getting into state thorugh approaches or are there other ways except drinking alcohol. Can I train myself to do this somehow? Will exposere to these situations in a way autocorrect it if I pair it with trying to get into state? @Leo Gura

Quote

If the club is super loud and chaotic, then physical fast can work well.

But if you're a more chill club where girls are just standing around in a circle together and conversation is possible, then you're better off just approaching with verbals only and playing it more chill.

You have to match the vibe of the room and the people you're opening.

Makes sense!  Thanks Leo. 

Edited by SamC

"Sometimes when it's dark - we have to be the light in our own tunnel"

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49 minutes ago, SamC said:

Cool! How do you do that? Is it about getting into state thorugh approaches or are there other ways except drinking alcohol. Can I train myself to do this somehow? Will exposere to these situations in a way autocorrect it if I pair it with trying to get into state? @Leo Gura

Firstly, it tends to improve simply from going out a lot and talking to girls a lot.

Secondly, through building state by approaching all night long.

Thirdly, by having fun wings to shit-talk with between sets.

Fourthly, by soaking in the club music and atmosphere. Dancing, etc.

Fifthly, by brainstorming funny and emotional things to talk about when you're at home.

Sixthly, by listening to in-field of night game where the guy is being self-amusing. Analyze how he is being emotional rather than logic. This is key.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You have to be smiling a lot

huge one for me. I'm among the happiest and most playful dudes out there but my default is a resting bitch face -  [pic] - so sometimes even i'f im having a blast I need to remember myself to smile for people around. Kinda funny that I lack in facial microexpressions. Most likely it's because i had terrible teeth growing up and I used to hide them.

But then again the dry humour hits harder cause of my dead serious face but the humor make people piss themselves ?

 


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5 hours ago, SamC said:

Cool! How do you do that? Is it about getting into state thorugh approaches or are there other ways except drinking alcohol. Can I train myself to do this somehow? Will exposere to these situations in a way autocorrect it if I pair it with trying to get into state? @Leo Gura

 

What Leo said but you can learn to build up your vibe for days prior to going out. It does not have to begin when you go out. You can learn to vibe on your own and later radiate that vibe to others


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@mmKay It's not even enough to smile, you need a flirty, sly, sexually-suggestive smirk and brightly glowing eyes when you approach a girl, and even while you're chatting her up. Really get up in her face with your powerful sexy smile.

Radiate passion and charisma with your face. This alone will get you laid if you nail it down solid. It's worth practicing for months on end. Really dial in your smirk and your eyes. You need to look at her very powerfully but cheekily.

Cut that dead-pan face. Never talk to a girl that way again. You need to be hypnotizing her with your smirk and eyes. She should feel shy looking in your eyes because it's too sexually intense. But not rapist eyes, your face has to be playful. Your face must exude sex and playfulness at the same time. Work on that. If you miss the playfulness you will come off as a rapist or serial killer and she will be scared and creeped out.

Radiate an easy-going, happy passion.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Be authentic. You can do everything by the book but if it isn't you she won't buy it. Guys can sniff authenticity. So if you are smiling and it is fake; forget about it. Even if you can pull a fake good smile eventually she will smell it. So it is rather to have a normal smile (and be authentic) than have a huge fake smile (and be unauthentic).

The problem is that when you are new you don't know what is being authentic. It is an incremental process: build it slowly.

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15 hours ago, mmKay said:

@Leo Gura Gold.

Got it. Rate this 0-10.

Sly Smirk mastery

Bit too intense imo

Lol, yes.

Although did you have to pick the most creepy-looking guy on the planet to demo it?


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Although did you have to pick the most creepy-looking guy on the planet to demo it?

Haha xD

Here's a demo and an eyeball cleanser.

Evansmirk.png SJoSmirk.jpg

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You need the face of a hungry cat looking at a canary.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You need the face of a hungry cat looking at a canary.

Does this work? 

hungry-cat.jpg

xD

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