I am that parasite called "ego".

[Endangered-EGO]

Damn, I just had an insight during meditation. It's nothing incredible, but it's like a 180° reversal on what I think the path is supposed to look like.

For a long time, I've been trying to dissociate from the ego and sense of self that was causing so much suffering.

However: I AM that entire parasitical energy that refers to everything that happens.

Just me, fighting with me.

Somehow I felt like some beautiful-loving being was smiling through my face, whoch wasn't "parasite-me", and shortly after I realised that "I", me was a beautiful energy.

I can't put it into words, and I am really confused. Like I am the entire "mind", whatever I do. 

All these trying was just me trying not to be what I am. Calling myself the parasite and believing I was that emptiness, but I am that trying to get to emptiness.

I am the sense of self and I couldn't want to get rid of it, because that's all I AM.

 

Why would anyone want to get rid of himself. Especially if that energetic-self is beautiful/incredible/okay.

 

Just writing down my confused thoughts.

 

[Dazgwny]

That energy or whatever u want to call it, that ‘I am’ is the exact same I ‘I am’ as I am. Your just a different configuration of that ‘I am’. Same ‘I am’ though. This is how I’m you and your me. Same ‘I am’ different configuration 

[Nahm]

Sounds more beautiful & clarifying than confusing. 

[diamondpenguin]

@Endangered-EGO Stop whining and do something with your life

[Seraphim]

What do you think the ego/I-thought is? I think Ramana Maharshi's definition is excellent. When you do self-inquiry, you (the human) is fighting against a thought-entity that has taken control over your mind, when you push this entity back down into the spiritual heart where it came from, you enter the natural state. In the natural state, there is happiness and simplicity, no resistance, no delusional ego-thoughts that would cause problems, and it feels easy to just be in the moment.

[BipolarGrowth]

The ego is as much emptiness as anything else. It’s just patterns of sensations which are ever changing. No problem having an ego. Ego sensations remain after awakening. You just understand what they are and see through the “illusion” of solidity to the ego. You also can’t have “seeing through the illusion” without an “illusion,” so there’s no reason to go hating the fact that there is an “illusion.” Everything else is just as illusory as an ego. The idea you need to rip out some thing called an ego and that’s the solution is mainly a thing spread by newbies in spirituality who haven’t gone through the intricacy that the process being pointed to in that kind of speaking/thinking/theorizing involves. 

[Zeroguy]

15 minutes ago, diamondpenguin said:

@Endangered-EGO Stop whining and do something with your life

KHm,khm...it is you. 

Beauty. You have to realize your own infinite beauty and intelligence. 

Creator=creation

 

Edited November 15, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Endangered-EGO]

@Dazgwny But that kind of has a "taste" to it. Like every other-self has a different color/feeling/smell to it. That's how I differentiate me and other-selves.

But I am putting them into my sense of self.

 

5 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Sounds more beautiful & clarifying than confusing. 

@Nahm It's all 3 of them. It's confusing, because it's simple and unexpected.

 

@diamondpenguin I'm not whining and don't be condescending to me with your naivety.

 

7 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

What do you think the ego/I-thought is? I think Ramana Maharshi's definition is excellent. When you do self-inquiry, you (the human) is fighting against a thought-entity that has taken control over your mind, when you push this entity back down into the spiritual heart where it came from, you enter the natural state. In the natural state, there is happiness and simplicity, no resistance, no delusional ego-thoughts that would cause problems, and it feels easy to just be in the moment.

@Seraphim Yes, but I am also the resistance, and delusional crazy fighting with itself. It's not like it's something different from me. It's the entirety of it.

 

@BipolarGrowth That's exactly IT!

I had residual mechanisms of having to get rid or fix the ego, it's like a wall that splits the ego in 2 and, that wall just broke. Or at least it's transparent now.

 

[Nahm]

1 minute ago, Endangered-EGO said:

It's all 3 of them. It's confusing, because it's simple and unexpected.

Oh gotcha, thanks. Didn’t occur to me one’s path could get so conceptual that simple is confusing. 

[peanutspathtotruth]

2 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

The ego is as much emptiness as anything else. It’s just patterns of sensations which are ever changing. No problem having an ego. Ego sensations remain after awakening. You just understand what they are and see through the “illusion” of solidity to the ego. You also can’t have “seeing through the illusion” without an “illusion,” so there’s no reason to go hating the fact that there is an “illusion.” Everything else is just as illusory as an ego. The idea you need to rip out some thing called an ego and that’s the solution is mainly a thing spread by newbies in spirituality who haven’t gone through the intricacy that the process being pointed to in that kind of speaking/thinking/theorizing involves. 

Beautiful, yes!!!

[Scholar]

5 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Damn, I just had an insight during meditation. It's nothing incredible, but it's like a 180° reversal on what I think the path is supposed to look like.

For a long time, I've been trying to dissociate from the ego and sense of self that was causing so much suffering.

However: I AM that entire parasitical energy that refers to everything that happens.

Just me, fighting with me.

Somehow I felt like some beautiful-loving being was smiling through my face, whoch wasn't "parasite-me", and shortly after I realised that "I", me was a beautiful energy.

I can't put it into words, and I am really confused. Like I am the entire "mind", whatever I do. 

All these trying was just me trying not to be what I am. Calling myself the parasite and believing I was that emptiness, but I am that trying to get to emptiness.

I am the sense of self and I couldn't want to get rid of it, because that's all I AM.

 

Why would anyone want to get rid of himself. Especially if that energetic-self is beautiful/incredible/okay.

 

Just writing down my confused thoughts.

 

That which resists the ego, is the ego. That which condemns, is the condemner.

 

 

This is why Love is so effective as a practice. Because, the ego is that which is in control. If it fears itself, then that will simply create more ego.

If it loves itself, the ego must let go of itself, to love.

 

The issue here is, you have only one vehicle as an ego, and that is the ego. You can use it to drive towards Love or Fear. So, the practise doesn't have to be anything but love.

[VeganAwake]

Yes, 

Sense of self/I am/Ego:  are all 3 words pointing to the same localized experience of individuality.

This illusory self construct(ME) isn't a real entity although it feels very solid and intact. It feels like I am in here and everything else is out there.

But there's no one inside or outside of the body.... it's an illusion of identity that takes itself very seriously and subtly believes it's the most important identity in the whole world.

There's nothing right or wrong with that experience.... it's just what apparently seems to be happening.

Awakening is the disentangling AS this separate identity. And when it SEEMS to happen, it's simultaneously recognized that this separate identity was never real in the first place.... which makes it a non happening.

❤ 

 

 

 

 

[gettoefl]

allness has ingeniously split itself into two so it could experience making war making up making love making one and it's a darn good movie too

[Terell Kirby]

You are not the parasite, you think you are the parasite.

Identification with the parasite is the issue here.

FYI - i tend to use the phrase 'self' with a lowercase 's' instead of parasite.

Who you are is 'Self' with an uppercase 'S'

[mandyjw]

Shitty feeling thoughts are like a really clingy piece of plastic. You know, the really thin clear kind they wrap things in sometimes and it's like... so charged statically that it just clings to you? The more violent your efforts become to rid yourself of the harmless thing, the less effective your efforts are and the more hilarious the scene becomes... to anyone but you. You don't realize that you are what's keeping it charged. You are what's attracting it. 

Except there's no plastic and no you. 

It's not personal which thoughts seem stuck to us. It's not a personal failing. Just some impersonal static electricity. 

Seems like we're one of those prideful, pretentious looking cats and some asshole dressed us up in a really demeaning costume. We're just like, "Get it OFF, get it off!" https://www.pinterest.com/pin/465981892668468700/

Liberation is not about getting out of the ridiculous costume. It's realizing you dressed yourself. And it's funny. And impersonal. 

We could  liberate the world through cat memes. We will not become higher consciousness. This already was it, the pinnacle of human civilization and achievement, cat memes, right here, right meow. 

[gettoefl]

and the kicker is you are not some ego writing to a random reader on a web forum

you are doing all tasks simultaneously, you are the whole doing as well as the whole infrastructure

best of all you can become directly conscious of this, a practice that works well is to observe a flower and merge into oneness with it

[SOUL]

Quite often the sense of self's personified manifestations take on an adversarial or toxic relationship within us and for those that do inner work it can become a kind of 'holy war' in how they try to eradicate this perception of separation.

The word illusion is tossed around so regularly yet it seems like how one defines this word can establish the dynamic within our consciousness and it's constituent manifestations. If we define illusion as 'does not exist' it can set up a conflict between the sense of self that is the naturally occurring experience of out physical life and our awareness which can transcend the sense of separate self.

If we instead define the word illusion 'not as appears' it allows for us to recognize the sense of self for what it is without setting up an adversarial dynamic within our consciousness. We can recognize that both the sense of separate self in it's naturally occurring form and the transcending of it in absolute sense of being can and does coexist. We can expand our awareness to include both of them in a harmonious relationship.

Our absolute sense of well being will not be disturbed by the manifesting of the physical sense of separate self, the absolute well being will fill our whole conscious experience including the sense of separate self instead of the sense of separate self disrupting the absolute well being so cause self suffering.

This is why it seems like so many seekers who define illusion as 'does not exist' will struggle for so long and rarely liberate from self suffering. They have created and perpetuated an adversarial dynamic within their consciousness and as long as they are alive with the physical body manifesting the sense of separate self this dynamic can persist.

Yet if we define illusion as 'not as appears' we can see through the manifestations of self for what they are and still the absolute well being fills our consciousness, our whole being. We can then celebrate life, the joy, love, laugh, dance, mourn, cry, hurt and all it involves yet the transcendent absolute well being flourishes.

So while some may say it's only a matter of semantics in the difference between the two definitions I suggest it creates how one perceives in awareness what dynamic unfolds in our consciousness and inner life.

Edited November 16, 2021 by SOUL

[VeganAwake]

It's described as unreal or illusion like because it really "does not exist". 

It's a misunderstanding or misidentification....

Jim Newman describes it as a psychosomatic misunderstanding.

An assumed identity that has the ability to create so-called good or bad reactions.(not only suffering)

There are millions if not billions identified as separate individuals out there living life and seemingly enjoying it for the most part.

It's a real AND unreal experience.

Real in the sense that when there is full on identification as a separate individual there doesn't seem to be an alternative experience.

Unreal in the sense that when this experience of individuality ends, it's simultaneously recognized as having never been real. 

❤ 

il·lu·sion

- a thing that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived or interpreted by the senses.

- a deceptive appearance or impression.

- a false idea or belief.

 

[WelcometoReality]

On 2021-11-15 at 8:28 PM, Endangered-EGO said:

Why would anyone want to get rid of himself. Especially if that energetic-self is beautiful/incredible/okay.

The only thing that wants to get rid of something is the ego. And it tries to get rid of itself because there's a belief that it will get enlightened that way.

[Breakingthewall]

On 15/11/2021 at 20:28, Endangered-EGO said:

 

indeed, you are an ego. the bad thing is that the ego, due to its foundations and construction, tends to become saturated, complicating, embittering, going crazy. So you, the ego, must be able to dissolve from time to time, realize what you are, a kind of image, dream, software, created by you, the emptiness, which is at the same time you, the ego. . since you, the ego, are the whole universe. when you dissolve there is no universe left, only emptiness. Doing this exercise from time to time will allow you to be a happier ego, less attached to yourself, with greater possibilities of enjoying and loving the reality that you are