A Different Approach To Relieving Social and Sexual Anxiety

[eTorro]

Hi!

I was thinking about going to luxury prostitutes that don't have diseases, to have protected sex.

That, over time, will lessen my sexual and social anxiety, as I'll slowly get comfortable in the presence of a woman.

Is this a good approach to gaining skills with a woman? Because going to a luxury prostitute is a little bit easier but it still entails moves and socializing. It will still force me out of my comfort zone and therefore I'll be learning.

Is such an investment worthwhile in the long run?

Thanks!

Edited November 14, 2021 by eTorro
To add a few words.

[PurpleTree]

6 minutes ago, eTorro said:

Is such an investment worthwhile in the long run?

unfortunately nobody can really tell you if this would help you or hurt you in the long run.

it could go either way.

it's not an absolutely great way to gain skills with a woman i'd say.

[JonasVE12]

That pretty creative. I'm sure it would be helpful because it gives you a safe container for you to experience your emotions and ground them out. If you can do a different women each time, that would be the best. Eventually you have to go on the street and approach women to get over your fears fully but I bet your plan will definitely make it more realistic to approach women if you are really afraid now.

Edited November 14, 2021 by JonasVE12

[eTorro]

1 minute ago, JonasVE12 said:

Eventually you have to go on the street and approach women to get over your fears fully but I bet what your plan is will definitely make it more realistic to approach women if you are really afraid.

I am really afraid in the sense that I can't control my fears.

I know that having the fear to talk to women doesn't make any sense and that it's just an illusional type of fear, but for me, it seems intensely real and it manifests itself by having its own autonomy.

I can not control my fears.

[JonasVE12]

Just now, eTorro said:

I am really afraid in the sense that I can't control my fears.

I know that having the fear to talk to women doesn't make any sense and that it's just an illusional type of fear, but for me, it seems intensely real and it manifests itself by having its own autonomy.

I can not control my fears.

I understand. It's too much tension for you at this point. The key insight into becoming a confident and attractive men is that you have to be good at stepping into tension and handling it. Which means that you can not be reactive to your fear. To develop this practically, you have to start at the lowest amount of tension possible for you to step into. Can you go up to a woman and ask for directions? If you do this for 30 days, 10 times a day, at the end of those 30 days you'll be a changed man, I promise. Your nervous system will adapt and you'll be ready to increase the tension then. In fact, I guarantee you that after like 2 weeks, you'll automatically be having spontaneous conversations with some women you have asked a simple question to. This simple practice will reveal a lot of your stories and negative beliefs about yourself, and it gives you the opportunity to let it come to the surface, ground them out and release them. 

Combine this practice to going to the prostitutes you suggested and it will grow you a lot.

[Crane Bahnsteik]

@eTorro 

Dealing with escorts is way different than dealing with normal women, escorts will pretend they love you, chase you, and approve of you no matter what you do. This happens of course because its their job, this doesnt help you in learning how to deal with women, its like having a girlfriend, you can have a girlfriend for years and still never learn how to deal with women or how to be social. Even sexually it is kinda awkward and does not translate directly into "real world experience".

The day after you have an escort you will probably be back to square one mentally so to speak, so as a standalone tool it is not very effective, you can try using escorts as a momentum builder, like lets say, have an escort in the morning and do normal approaches/dates later in the day now that you are "socially warmed up", but even this is kind of messy and requires large amounts of money, because unless you are doing an insane amount of spiritual work you will need dozens or even hundreds of encounters to learn social and sexual skills. You might as well spend that money on couching and workshops I would say.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Crane Bahnsteik

[PurpleTree]

i've tried it in some ways

it's not an antidote to social anxiety in anyway shape or form

but it can give you some simple sexual confidence, like how long you can go, which positions you know, how many times and so on

it also can become a bad habit

Edited November 14, 2021 by PurpleTree

[eTorro]

Talking with a prostitute or not, she still has a feminine presence and I must get used to that feminine presence.

I will stop with all the labels that the mind produces and I'll perceive the prostitute as simply a woman.

As I'll do that a hundred times, I will get better at being comfortable around women without a shadow of a doubt.

The fact that she's a prostitute doesn't make any difference to me — I'm still taking her as a slightly normal woman. 

[PurpleTree]

5 minutes ago, eTorro said:

Talking with a prostitute or not, she still has a feminine presence and I must get used to that feminine presence.

I will stop with all the labels that the mind produces and I'll perceive the prostitute as simply a woman.

As I'll do that a hundred times, I will get better at being comfortable around women without a shadow of a doubt.

The fact that she's a prostitute doesn't make any difference to me — I'm still taking her as a slightly normal woman. 

yea but it's always transactional

you'll always know that she's just talking to you because you pay her

[PurpleTree]

^same with psychotherapy though, you pay the people to listen to you

[mandyjw]

Are you completely comfortable having a conversation with an older woman or man, someone that there's no possibility of sex with? If yes, are you also comfortable just talking and being around women your age?  

If no to either question, why not instead volunteer for an animal rescue organization or a similar organization where you will be working with and around women?

For one, you are the one helping now, you are not in need of help. Two, by getting into this mindset of volunteering and giving you don't care about the interactions that happen. You have a reason for being there. 

Sex is a need that typically comes from having a bigger need of human interaction, belonging and community (and giving back to the community) met first. You can get the sex need met alone, but it will not give the full satisfaction you're looking for. 

Edited November 14, 2021 by mandyjw

[eTorro]

5 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

You can't conquer your fears by tip toeing your way around them. Not how it works, unfortunatelly.

 

What is a good method to conquer your fears?

[Bando]

If your fear of talking to women runs this deep going out and getting a prostitute wont do you any good. If your insecurity was about your sexual performance and you didnt have the necessary experience this would make sense, but hiring a prostitute to fix your social anxiety is not a good move. 

If I wear you I would try to really break down what's making you create this limiting beliefs you have towards women how has the content you've watched you, life experiences, your environment taught you about women?

Being terribly anxious around women is a symptom of something deeper, Do you have a good friend group? Are you physically active? Do you have enjoyable hobbies? Hows your mental health? Can you financially sustain yourself? 

You should really take the time to contemplate these things and address the mental side of the equation because even if you found a chick that liked you she would smell your needies and run. Take some time to understand things before you dive straight into your fears.