Pickup feels fake and low conscious

[zazen]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

pickup is dire to be honest

guy scans venue to seek gal he wants sex with and approaches the one most likely to oblige

his mind is made up before he even speaks to her, his only mission is to have sex with the least trouble in the least time

he doesn't want to know her just bed her

i feel ashamed of the male gender and pity on the female gender, the only winner is biology with the prospect of an addition to the species

When we put it down to purely biology terms its very cold and naturally we do feel shame/guilt for our animal nature, for something higher in us a humans says we are more than just animals. Men and women aren't good or bad but both good and bad. The potential for devilry or divinity is in both. 

 

*David Attenborough voice * 

The opposite case could be made for women who dress up and accentuate their beauty via make up, heels pushing their hips out, and bras their breasts up, seated at the bar as if a spider web waiting for a fly (guy) to get caught in her feminine charms and to give mind blowing sex to lock the man into a commitment. To meet her end goal of motherhood fulfilling her deepest maternal desire, and to subjugate the male into providing and provisioning to her and child for life, even when she can turn the tap of sex off with no repercussion or threat to her survival lol.

 

[gettoefl]

8 minutes ago, zazen said:

When we put it down to purely biology terms its very cold and naturally we do feel shame/guilt for our animal nature, for something higher in us a humans says we are more than just animals. Men and women aren't good or bad but both good and bad. The potential for devilry or divinity is in both. 

 

*David Attenborough voice * 

The opposite case could be made for women who dress up and accentuate their beauty via make up, heels pushing their hips out, and bras their breasts up, seated at the bar as if a spider web waiting for a fly (guy) to get caught in her feminine charms and to give mind blowing sex to lock the man into a commitment. To meet her end goal of motherhood fulfilling her deepest maternal desire, and to subjugate the male into providing and provisioning to her and child for life, even when she can turn the tap of sex off with no repercussion or threat to her survival lol.

 

it is hardwired into our genes

and on the whole as hopeless slaves to it as we are both genders love the game, men looking to razzle and women looking to dazzle

[Byun Sean]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

5 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

It sounds awfully like you're saying that women don't have the ability to be attracted to consciousness and will only fall for survival capital?

Of course.

Sex is survival.

Not just women, men too. Your genitals don't care about consciousness.

 

My experience is very different actually. Women seem to smell consciousness off guys without even having to try. 

 

In fact many times consciousness/ survival capital are inseparable because consciousness makes you much better at surviving.

[Salvijus]

I feel to add a bit on the "improving social skills by interacting with random people" thing. I don't think it can work like that. Why. Because your interactions are a consiquence of how you are inside and you level of self-awareness. To that extent you can jam and dance with relationships.

Relationships are like jamming really. In music if you want to learn improv, you don't do improv 24/7. You cultivate your music sensitivity, your sense of rythm, your ears, and your heart. All these principles will decide how good your music will be. It's the same with social skills. There are no techniques for it, you simply meet and respond to the situation according to your level of awareness. How self-aware you are, how honest, natural, sensitive, empathic you are, that will be the quality of your socializing. A very high quality socializing ends up in union and love and silence. To develop these qualities that make socializing smooth and successful is what consciouness work is all about. Only through consciouness work can people learn socializing. It's when you're disconnected from yourself that you are lost among people and don't know what to say and all that stuff. Because a person is not sufficiently self-aware that's why these problems come. It's like a tone deaf person trying to play jazz improv. Obviously he will feel lost and clueless what to play. Everything he plays will sound out of tune and out of context, that's exacly what happens when people who have no self-awareness trying to socialize with people ? 1000 attempts phylosophy will not work. You need to work on the principles.

?

 

Edited November 15, 2021 by Salvijus

[diamondpenguin]

People say a lot about stuff, but don't do nothing.

[Salvijus]

5 minutes ago, Byun Sean said:

Sex is survival.

I'm yet to see a guy die because of lack of sex ? I'm joking, yeah sex can be survival, but it's mostly just apeish pleasure seeking process, not a survival need imo.

?

 

 

Edited November 15, 2021 by Salvijus

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

I'm yet to see a guy die because of lack of sex ? I'm joking, yeah sex can be survival, but it's mostly just apeish pleasure seeking process, not a survival need imo.

?

 

 

I can assure you that if you live deprived of sex for years, you can quite fucked up inside.
It's not just sex, sex is a need yes, but intimacy is an even more important need (babies literally let themselves die if they don't have it).

Pick up is a way to learn how to attract women, which leads to sex, which leads to intimacy.
I don't see how that's complicated to understand.

Yes done in excess, with no other framework than pick up it can be pretty nasty and be a trap into you lock yourself in, but so as pretty much anything else actually (especially spirituality which leads to huge spiritual bypassing).

Edited November 15, 2021 by Shin

[Salvijus]

@Shin your point? ?

I was just joking bro. Yes some people commit suicide because they can't get sex. Maybe in that sense it is true that lack of sex can kill you. But that's real logic bending right there ? 

Sorry I didn't get most of what you tried to say.

?

Edited November 15, 2021 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

Okey, okey, pick up is great, I'm tired now. Please don't start new debates about the same thing all over again ? 

Cheers and good luck ?

[Shin]

Just now, Salvijus said:

@Shin your point? ?

I was just joking bro. Yes some people commit suicide because they can't get sex. Maybe in that sense it is true. But that's real logic bending right there ? 

Sorry I didn't get most of what you tried to say.

?

No it's not logic bending, where do you think the incel community comes from ?

And there is LOADS of men that aren't in those communities and still feel like shit daily, that's the point of those videos, to not let those men be that salty about life

[Nahm]

@Electron

When I met my (to be) wife, I hadn’t heard of “pick up” or the way of thinking of playing games, deception, manipulation, etc. She appreciated the poetry, and a song or two, and the showering as you say. I did too.   Just, honest, from day one. Thank. God. We actually waited quite a while before having sex. But there wasn’t the ‘getting laid’ thinking, so there wasn’t actually any on purpose ‘waiting’ thinking either. It was just natural. Just a comment for you, in case by some chance you feel like this thread which initially looks in a way, like truth being pissed on and kicked through an echo chamber of an echoe’s chamber, so to speak. I would wager from what you’ve said you see (actually feel) what I mean and don’t feel like that at all though. 

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Khr said:

In a way, a women’s version of pickup would be getting a sugar daddy/someone to spend on them which could also be justified to be “good for society” as it builds women’s social skills, self-esteem, confidence, leads to detachment, and ultimately indeed might lead to a relationship.. 

If the guy who do pick up isn't honest and let the girl think it's for something more than just sex yes.

Which is what most pick up guy do, which is why this thread is so controversial  

But if a guy who is genuine and not an ass do it, where is the problem ?

[PurpleTree]

3 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I think pick up is freaking awesome. I’ve even learned a lot about myself through it. I feel flattered when a man asks for my number. Any interaction with a man is another opportunity to deepen my relationship with my feminine essence. 

oh ummm hi there young lady

did an angel fall from the skies or why hmmmmm are you here?¨ 

 

 

 

 

like that? am i doing fine so far? 

am i doings the pick uppings now? it feels weird

Edited November 15, 2021 by PurpleTree

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, Khr said:

Would the guy come to the girl and tell her he wants to have sex and maybe a relationship next, but he needs to have sex first to know whether the relationship is even a possibility?

No, but before having sex, explain that no relationship is on the table, and even during the flirt never try to implicitely say something more than sex is on the table.

That's only if you only want sex and purely sex, but lots of guys will be ok with dating a girl they like you know, that's like, what most guys do

[Loba]

@mandyjw  You ended up lucking out and don't have a lot of experience with how men really are because you've most likely been sheltered from it imo.

Like, you've lived an easy life and the wisdom is situations that other women had to learn you didn't have to, that's not just a wound, that's how life is for most women.

[Loba]

3 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I think pick up is freaking awesome. I’ve even learned a lot about myself through it. I feel flattered when a man asks for my number. Any interaction with a man is another opportunity to deepen my relationship with my feminine essence. 

That's because you're pretty and men will treat you kinder, even if you are, internally, the same as everyone else.
So of course you benefit from it.
But average women generally will attract people of a lower quality, not so much looks wise - could be, but behaviourally.
Or depending on how you look, or if you come from a bad home, the man will disrespect your weakness because he views women as an extension of himself.

I have a feminine essence, too, it's going to be there no matter what.  I would hate to waste such a treasured thing on someone who was using me as a means to an end.

[Byun Sean]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

I'm yet to see a guy die because of lack of sex ? I'm joking, yeah sex can be survival, but it's mostly just apeish pleasure seeking process, not a survival need imo.

?

 

 

the pleasure seeking process and the avoidance of pain is the very essence of survival lol

[mandyjw]

@Loba You're pretty and lucky too when you're not focused on the opposite. Everyone has their own set of interesting challenges. What you call luck is actually an incredibly fair thing. Fair because you're the maker of it, it's in how you see the world. Maintaining a good marriage and attracting men is the same... if you make yourself unpleasable no guy is gonna ever want to be the "reason" for it. Men want to make you happy. They feel rejected when you make that impossible. Men cannot actually make you happy, (don't tell them that), cause you already are an independent all powerful goddess of pleasure. Just tap into that and you'll attract good men like crazy. Not just men, friends, anyone or anything, really. The price? Let go of your excuses and reasons for not being happy. Even if they seem logical or make sense. Bleh. We're artists, right? This is your creation. The whole thing. Do you choose to paint what you hate and already know you hate or do you paint what you're inspired to paint? Create with your thoughts like you create with art. 

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@Electron

When I met my (to be) wife, I hadn’t heard of “pick up” or the way of thinking of playing games, deception, manipulation, etc. She appreciated the poetry, and a song or two, and the showering as you say. I did too.   Just, honest, from day one. Thank. God. We actually waited quite a while before having sex. But there wasn’t the ‘getting laid’ thinking, so there wasn’t actually any on purpose ‘waiting’ thinking either. It was just natural. Just a comment for you, in case by some chance you feel like this thread which initially looks in a way, like truth being pissed on and kicked through an echo chamber of an echoe’s chamber, so to speak. I would wager from what you’ve said you see (actually feel) what I mean and don’t feel like that at all though. 

You see, this is something I wish I was emotionally mature enough and self actualized to feel and see. I feel slight resentment towards my gf that we didn't have sex the night we met but 6 days later  Cause I'm sure she has had sex with other guys the night she met them. I've had ONS with other women so I get it. It still doesn't sit right with me she held it from me for a few days cause she liked me so much when I'm sure a guy who just wanted a fuck and was forward about it got it sooner. A lot of men today feel they have to sort of live up to a certain seductive standard and life style or else they are seen as "weak" or undesirable as a man. I've had my head filled with plenty of this garbage as well and can't help but feel it tug at me sometimes. I do feel this force that I need X number of sexual partners before finding a wife, have to be player statue or else I'm "beta", etc. None of this shit really feels good to think about and is kinda toxic. There is some helpful stuff in it for sure cause a lot of guys that get into pick up are huge push overs and they probably needed something to toughen them up and motivate them a bit but it becomes a huge trap after a certain point. Male dating advice can be helpful but it needs to be balanced with consciousness. 

Edited November 15, 2021 by Lyubov

[Etherial Cat]

30 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

You see, this is something I wish I was emotionally mature enough and self actualized to feel and see. I feel slight resentment towards my gf that we didn't have sex the night we met but 6 days later  Cause I'm sure she has had sex with other guys the night she met them. I've had ONS with other women so I get it. It still doesn't sit right with me she held it from me for a few days cause she liked me so much when I'm sure a guy who just wanted a fuck and was forward about it got it sooner. A lot of men today feel they have to sort of live up to a certain seductive standard and life style or else they are seen as "weak" or undesirable as a man. I've had my head filled with plenty of this garbage as well and can't help but feel it tug at me sometimes. I do feel this force that I need X number of sexual partners before finding a wife, have to be player statue or else I'm "beta", etc. None of this shit really feels good to think about and is kinda toxic. There is some helpful stuff in it for sure cause a lot of guys that get into pick up are huge push overs and they probably needed something to toughen them up and motivate them a bit but it becomes a huge trap after a certain point. Male dating advice can be helpful but it needs to be balanced with consciousness. 

It's not so much about your girlfriend than the wound you've got in your relationship with other men and the masculine hierarchy, then. You compare yourself to other men in relation to her. She's the proxy to that feeling and you project the resentment on that poor girl.  

Maybe try to do some shadow work in that area. How much of an emotional reaction do you have when hearing the word beta? What is behind it? These sounds like great questions for some private introspection.  

Edited November 15, 2021 by Etherial Cat