Guy getting a gf? How?

[Blackhawk]

I seriously do not understand how any guy can get a gf. Because for example literally even a average looking girl can get many thousands of hungry good looking and charming guys chasing her on instagram (and everywhere else).

It's just mind boggling.

I as a guy simply cannot get a gf when things are like that. There's always a huge amount of guys who are better than me in every area.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Blackhawk]

And also to you guys who miraculously somehow have managed to get a gf: how does it feel that there's billions of guys who are better than you? And it's just a matter of time until your gf stumbles upon one of them, which will lead to her leaving you or (God forbid) cheating on you? Sitting on a ticking bomb. I couldn't live like that. How do you sleep at night?

Edited November 14, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Nos7algiK]

1 hour ago, Blackhawk said:

And also to you guys who miraculously somehow have managed to get a gf: how does it feel that there's billions of guys who are better than you? And it's just a matter of time until your gf stumbles upon one of them, which will lead to her leaving you or (God forbid) cheating on you? Sitting on a ticking bomb. I couldn't live like that. How do you sleep at night?

I wouldn't be with my girlfriend if I didn't already think I was the best for her and vice-versa. But, if she did find someone new I would be happy for her that she found someone better. She would no longer be the best for me and why wouldn't I want the best for myself? It wouldn't be a much a loss then, though I'm sure it would be unfortunate for a window of time. No matter what with the right mentality everyone is a winner here though.

I spent many years of my life in fear a partner of mine would find someone better. Want to know what happens when you have that fear? It happens. Cut out the fear, cut out the happening.

But, to be more specific I offered my partner something no one else nor very few people could ever help her find.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Blackhawk]

Leo and moderators.. if you don't like this thread (which you wont) I hope you will just lock it, and not give me warning points or something. It's not like I spam this stuff all the time.

[Harlen Kelly]

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

I as a guy simply cannot get a gf when things are like that. There's always a huge amount of guys who are better than me in every area.

By better than you, you mean the have better game than you? 

[Yarco]

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

literally even a average looking girl can get many thousands of hungry good looking and charming guys chasing her on instagram (and everywhere else).

6s and 7s do not get thousands of dudes messaging them on Instagram. Not even dozens per year. And almost none of them are good looking or charming guys. Most 6s and 7s get a few compliments IRL per year, especially in today's #metoo age, guys are afraid to day approach.

In bars it's a different story, dudes will grab the asses of anything, usually in conditions where it's too dark to even see if a girl is hot or not before they do.

Ideally you aren't going after a girl posting skanky photos on Instagram or regularly going to clubs.

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

And also to you guys who miraculously somehow have managed to get a gf: how does it feel that there's billions of guys who are better than you? And it's just a matter of time until your gf stumbles upon one of them, which will lead to her leaving you or (God forbid) cheating on you? Sitting on a ticking bomb. I couldn't live like that. How do you sleep at night?

Really dude, billions? 7.7 billion people on Earth, 2.8B of those live in China and India and are never going to see your girl. 50% of those are women, 40% of the guys left are 40 years or older. If you're average, 50% of those guys left are less attractive than you. That already brings you down to like 500 million competitors in the entire world. Not even considering that the girl you're going after is probably never going to go more than 200 miles from her house. Random guys from Africa or Turkey messaging her on Instagram are not serious competitors dude.

It's not all those guys you even need to worry about. It's your best friend, her male best friend, her male coworker that she talks to 8 hours a day. 

Anyway the answer regardless of the threat is to just pick a high-quality woman with morals who won't cheat on you. Maybe in your teens and 20s you have to worry about hypergamy and monkey-branching, but once women are in their late 20s they are scared and just want to settle down with a guy before they hit the wall.

It's a stupid what-if. Life is full of risks if you want to get anything. How do you have friends knowing (god forbid) they could come over and steal from you? You have to stop being paranoid and give up some control to be happy in life, and whatever happens happens.

90% of guys saying this stuff it's not about looks or anything else. You even acknowledge that average looking guys can get girls. It's just about not acting autistic around them.

[Blackhawk]

2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

By better than you, you mean the have better game than you? 

Better personality, looks, game, resources, everything.

[Nos7algiK]

4 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Better personality, looks, game, resources, everything.

You don't have to be great to be great. All you need to do is be good at being you. Being authentic is the single greatest attractive quality we can have. As long as you can be comfortable with being yourself without the care to other's opinions on you, then you are winning the game. I do understand all of this is easier said than done. But, have faith in who you are and this faith will build on itself overtime to create better versions of yourself in which increases your faith and continues the cycle.

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Blackhawk I mean, if you consistently go out to deliberately work on your game with experienced wings, you will be better than 90% of guys at attracting women within 6 - 12 months, this has already been done by thousands of guys. 

Are you currently going out on a consistent basis and do you personally know a guy that is exceptionally good at attracting women? 

Edited November 14, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Blackhawk]

3 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

You don't have to be great to be great. All you need to do is be good at being you. Being authentic is the single greatest attractive quality we can have. As long as you can be comfortable with being yourself without the care to other's opinions on you, then you are winning the game. I do understand all of this is easier said than done. But, have faith in who you are and this faith will build on itself overtime to create better versions of yourself in which increases your faith and continues the cycle.

That sounds good and nice, that's what we all hope for, but in reality it's like this: me being me isn't good enough, and there's many guys who are much better than me.

1 minute ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Blackhawk I mean, if you consistently go out to deliberately work on your game with experienced wings, you will be better than 90% guys at attracting women within 6 - 12 months. 

Are you currently going out and do you personally know a guy that is exceptionally good at attracting women? 

No.

[Harlen Kelly]

23 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

No

Last question, why do you expect results in a domain you are not putting any effort? 

Edited November 14, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Nos7algiK]

8 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

That sounds good and nice, that's what we all hope for, but in reality it's like this: me being me isn't good enough, and there's many guys who are much better than me.

Then be the you that is good enough lol. I understand though, it's difficult to see it that way. But, trying to better yourself too much in what you "believe" women want will only cause you stress. A good way to help confidence with women is to attempt to find plutonic friends who are females. Women you don't have any intention on dating or dating would be difficult so it's not even worth it such as a great distance between you two. This will help you feel more comfortable and women are very easy to talk to in a friendly way as long as you are willing to listen.

[Blackhawk]

11 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Last question, why do you expect results in a domain you are not putting any effort? 

I'm not expecting results.

It's hopeless to try anymore. I have gone through the trying phase, so I have gave up now.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Blackhawk Attracting women is a skill, like any other skill it can be mastered but you obviously won't be able to master that skill if you are not putting any effort.  

You don't even personally know guys who are good at it which tells me that you didn't really try at all. 

What's ironic is how fun, enjoyable and relatively easy game becomes once you have done it for a sufficient amount of time, the problem is most guys give up within the first month or even weeks. 

Edited November 14, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Blackhawk]

5 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

 

You don't even personally know guys who are good at it which tells me that you didn't really try at all. 

You are assuming that I'm able to make friends. I'm not.

[Lyubov]

You have a belief or two here about yourself that is going to limit your life. Follow this inner thread why you think you can’t get a girlfriend. Probably the majority of it is untrue and what is true has a solution. 

[Blackhawk]

7 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

You have a belief or two here about yourself that is going to limit your life. Follow this inner thread why you think you can’t get a girlfriend. Probably the majority of it is untrue and what is true has a solution. 

It's not a belief because I have seen it myself. Girls don't want to have anything to do with me.

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

It's not a belief because I have seen it myself. Girls don't want to have anything to do with me.

You'd be surprised what you can do once you stop believing that you can't do it.

If you really wanted to, you could get almost any girl you want in less than two years.

If you really wanted to, which includes stopping having limiting beliefs, which apparently you're dead set on dying with.

That will happen if you don't let them go, there won't be a magical event that will do that for you.

[Jacob Morres]

I remember being like this when I was younger so I understand u

[Shin]

3 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Better personality, looks, game, resources, everything.

You can develop all those things, just stop being lazy