Guy getting a gf? How?

[Blackhawk]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

You'd be surprised what you can do once you stop believing that you can't do it.

If you really wanted to, you could get almost any girl you want in less than two years.

If you really wanted to, which includes stopping having limiting beliefs, which apparently you're dead set on dying with.

That will happen if you don't let them go, there won't be a magical event that will do that for you.

 

55 minutes ago, Shin said:

You can develop all those things, just stop being lazy

You guys are all crazy with your delusional beliefs.

If some guys can do it it doesn't mean that everyone can.

And no believing that something will work wont make it work.  If that would be the case I would have got a gf before when I thought I could.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Harlen Kelly]

5 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

You guys are all crazy with your delusional beliefs.

If some guys can do it it doesn't mean that everyone can.

And no believing that something will work wont make it work.  If that would be the case I would have got a gf before when I thought I could.

If you are not looking to improve and are stubborn about your belief system, what do you hope to accomplish with your post, to wallow in your victimhood? 

[Blackhawk]

Just now, Harlen Kelly said:

If you are not looking to improve and are stubborn about your belief system, what do you hope to accomplish with your post, to wallow in your victimhood? 

Just venting.

[Harlen Kelly]

Just now, Blackhawk said:

Just venting.

This toxic, festering negativity is why you can't make friends and being negative just for the sake of being negative lowers the standards of this forum. 

[Blackhawk]

7 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

This toxic, festering negativity is why you can't make friends and being negative just for the sake of being negative lowers the standards of this forum. 

Or I'm just saying how things actually are.

Anyways, please don't punish me.. just lock the thread if that's what Leo and moderators want to do..

I wont repeat this stuff again (but my opinion/understanding/knowledge will remain, which I will keep to myself). You can't walk around with a opinion forever and never let it out.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Harlen Kelly]

3 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

but my opinion will remain, which I will keep to myself

That's not surprising. 

[Blackhawk]

1 minute ago, Harlen Kelly said:

That's not surprising. 

I don't change opinion about facts.

[Harlen Kelly]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

I don't change opinion about facts.

Sure, try not to infect others with your ''facts''. 

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I don't change opinion about facts.

Those are not facts, it's what you believe.

You don't actually want to get better, just because your beliefs would be destroyed in the process.

You prefer to be right than being happy, that's how stupid the mind can be when it's lost.

Edited November 14, 2021 by Shin

[JonasVE12]

Dude, you need to have some more personal coaching from someone who knows what you're going through. Once you know the internal mechanisms and external procceses to go through, the possibility for transformative change becomes very real. 

Get out to one of these events, preferably the experience intensive: https://www.thefearlessman.com/events/

It costs some money and you'll probably have to travel, and if you're not willing to do that for yourself, it's best that you accept yourself as you are and accept that women and confidence will never be a part of your reality.

[Guest EmptyVase]

9 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

I as a guy simply cannot get a gf when things are like that.

How does this disbelief feel? Discouraging?

9 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

There's always a huge amount of guys who are better than me in every area.

Is there jealousy around that thought? Perhaps also insecurities and fears?

If so, I encourage you to write down why it feels so discouraging to you. Those thoughts feel off to you - the reason they feel off to you is that they are not aligned with your inner being. Your inner being is well-being, discouragement does not feel like well-being. And also, your inner being is constantly communicating with you through your emotions. If a certain topic feels off to you, your inner being is telling you to scrutinize those beliefs that you hold within your mind. Scrutinize by expression; recognize that your thoughts are not reality; choose thoughts which make you feel better.

[mandyjw]

I really, really, really, REALLY, want to be a master chef. 

But I don't know how a microwave works. 

I'm fucked. 

Right now, I don't know the first thing about being a chef, but I do know what I want. I also can work on my skills. I can learn how to make scrambled eggs. Maybe the first time they come out so bad, I throw them in the trash. But I'll try again. 

Maybe some super accepting married lady that has dealt with severe social anxiety in her past and totally understands it offers to Skype chat with me, and I actually let her see my face. I dunno. 

 

Edited November 14, 2021 by mandyjw

[Guest EmptyVase]

3 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Just venting.

It's not just venting. There's a desire to express how you feel, empty yourself of these conditions, and relax in (well-)being - which feels really good.

[Leo Gura]

When a girl falls in love with you, she's falling specifically in love with YOU, not just "a guy". She wants you, not anyone else. The idea of finding better guys is not even in her mind because she already sees you as the one for her.

Girls are loyal to a fault.

Stop making up victim narratives and go approach girls. You will see that at least 1/20 girls will be attracted to you if you develop a bit of game.

[Blackhawk]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

I really, really, really, REALLY, want to be a master chef. 

But I don't know how a microwave works. 

I'm fucked. 

Right now, I don't know the first thing about being a chef, but I do know what I want. I also can work on my skills. I can learn how to make scrambled eggs. Maybe the first time they come out so bad, I throw them in the trash. But I'll try again. 

Maybe some super accepting married lady that has dealt with severe social anxiety in her past and totally understands it offers to Skype chat with me, and I actually let her see my face. I dunno. 

28 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

When a girl falls in love with you, she's falling specifically in love with YOU, not just "a guy". She wants you, not anyone else. The idea of finding better guys is not even in her mind because she already sees you as the one for her.

Girls are loyal to a fault.

Stop making up victim narratives and go approach girls. You will see that at least 1/20 girls will be attracted to you if you develop a bit of game.

Well this was a nice surprise. Thanks for being so forgiving, instead of immediately locking the thread, banning me, and going all crazy, haha.

[mandyjw]

@Blackhawk People already love you and want you to be happy. You may disappoint them by disbelieving it, and then you observe their disappointment and wonder why you don't feel loved. 

My advice is stop worrying about the girlfriend so much and just master casual fun interactions with anyone. And if they are awkward as fuck? Awesome. Scrambled eggs in the trash. Try again.  Sometimes the most synchronistic first meetings are awkward AF. 

 

[Bando]

Dude relax man im assuming your a young 20 something year old stop focusing on women and just improve yourself. Start at the gym learn monitizable skills read uplifting material and set goals you want in life. 

If your here to vent thats ok but you have to realize since this is a self-improvement forum people are going to try to help you when when you post stuff like this. 

Lets face it you have your youth a healthy body and mind why waste it on this negative bullshit, forget about women for year or two and focusing on just getting comfortable in your own skin. Try finding a therapist who you can vent and explain your life story to, maybe they can give an insight on traumas you may have experienced in the past. and you can go from there.

Understand even if girls were to find you attractive or interested in you cannot do anything because you have so many limiting beliefs and insecurities your literally preventing yourself from experiencing love 

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

It's not a belief because I have seen it myself. Girls don't want to have anything to do with   me.

Girls are not attracted to discordant beliefs, same as guys. Discordant means ‘doesn’t feel good’. 

You’re sharing what doesn’t feel good to you, believing you’re right, and blaming other people & reality for the discord you’re experiencing. 

When you focus on what feels good to you, and share it, it attracts. It feels good to other people too. 

[Blackhawk]

 

29 minutes ago, Bando said:

Dude relax man im assuming your a young 20 something year old stop focusing on women and just improve yourself. Start at the gym learn monitizable skills read uplifting material and set goals you want in life. 

If your here to vent thats ok but you have to realize since this is a self-improvement forum people are going to try to help you when when you post stuff like this. 

Lets face it you have your youth a healthy body and mind why waste it on this negative bullshit, forget about women for year or two and focusing on just getting comfortable in your own skin. Try finding a therapist who you can vent and explain your life story to, maybe they can give an insight on traumas you may have experienced in the past. and you can go from there.

Understand even if girls were to find you attractive or interested in you cannot do anything because you have so many limiting beliefs and insecurities your literally preventing yourself from experiencing love 

I'm 33.

[Gesundheit2]

It's similar to when the sperm fertilizes the egg. The only difference is that there's not millions of sperms fighting for only one egg. There's billions of sperms and billions of eggs, shuffling and matching up all the time.

Remember, you were the alpha sperm one day. You've beaten millions of other sperms and made it here, effortlessly.