Am I hitting a roadblock here ?

[Javfly33]

Here's the "Phenomena":

I am meditating, and suddenly intense silence sets in. Probably the ego is being deconstructed here. This is where the weird "phenomena"/reaction that Im talking about happens. Suddenly I move my head like crazy and do a sound, I do a wild gesticulation which I don't have any control over (its just happens) but here's the trick:  once this gesticulation happens, it obviously puts me out / stops the concentration and I have to go back to concentrating/meditating. The silence/contration is lost. ¿A trick of the ego resisting the SILENCE?

It happened yesterday after so much time without doing spiritual practices (I picked back up the mediation habit just 2 weeks ago), but it used to happen almost DAILY when I did that Yoga retreat 1 year ago.

It's just sucks because it seems like the ego just keeps rejecting and rejecting the silence, no matter what I do, it always reacts once it gets too serious. HAHAHA.

¿Has anyone experience this and do you think it stops spiritual growth or I shouldn't give it much importance?

 

[Nahm]

@Javfly33

If you’re meditating for growth, that might be a natural phenomena in regard to letting that expectation go. It’s likely the nervous defense / laugh reaction playing out. No worries. Just relax, put attention back to feeling breathing from the stomach. If you can see it’s what you want, to release it, and if you don’t rush or hold expectation, it’s very enjoyable. 

[BipolarGrowth]

You might be helped by trying some other types of meditation that are not done on the cushion. You can build up your progress on different aspects of meditation doing this. You’ll probably not run into the same thing. Noting, walking meditation, vipassana mainly focused on impermanence are all things which could fit in well possibly. Worth a shot IMO. 

[WelcometoReality]

18 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

¿Has anyone experience this and do you think it stops spiritual growth or I shouldn't give it much importance?

The silence is always there no matter what happens. Let the body move and make sounds and be the silence.

[The0Self]

It's just extra energy needing release. The extra energy comes from stillness; the so-called individual parts of the mind no longer fighting with one another so much. Some jump, some scream -- this is just something that can occur. It has been referred to as the development of piti (meditative joy), and it comes with the unification of mind. At first it's bothersome but later it can get (sometimes overly) exhilarating, and eventually it calms down and the extra energy just manifests as samadhi.

[Javfly33]

@The0Self how much do you think i have until samadhi?

[The0Self]

2 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

@The0Self how much do you think i have until samadhi?

No way to tell. By samadhi I simply mean effortlessly still attention associated with powerful equanimity, mindfulness, and well-being. TMI is the best guide I know of for how to achieve it, but it's not the only way. Just sitting still for a very, very long time can maybe do it for some, but I would not count on that.