My personal feelings part 1

[Preety_India]

I have decided to stay away from things as much as possible. Because, what's the point? 

 

[Preety_India]

Tears never lie. 

 

[Preety_India]

There is really no way to cope with the death of a family member no matter how hard you try.

 

[Preety_India]

I have decided to leave the forum. It doesn't have the compassion I need. 

I never felt accepted here. I always felt bullied here. 

Anyone who was ever trying to show compassion was only rubbing more salt into the wounds. 

I never felt understood here. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I cried for 4 hours and then I slept off. 

 

[Preety_India]

I just don't want to talk to anyone anymore. 

 

[Preety_India]

I just wish to journal in peace. 

 

[Preety_India]

I cried so much today. 

Remembering my dad and what he meant to me. 

It still hurts after so many years. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have severed my connection with this forum almost completely. 

I don't know anyone here. 

I don't want anything here 

Me and my journals. 

 

[Preety_India]

The ghosts have come back to harass and trigger me. 

But this time I'll win. 

I won't let myself be Defeated by pathetic spirits

 

I have a good heart. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Raphael]

From my experience so far having a break from this forum can be very relieving. Staying there for too much time without taking a break can have a huge toll on someone's mental health. I don't know exactly how's your situation and I understand that if you can't express yourself IRL this place can be like a new family but having some time off feels great.

Try to have at least a 2 month break if it's possible for you.

[Preety_India]

@Raphael I think break doesn't really help. I already took a break in the month of October. I was away for the whole month. I came back in November. I thoughts things will be better. But nope. The same silly shit and useless gossip again. 

I had taken several breaks last year as well. In my opinion, it's not really worth it. 

The forum attracts gossip mongers type of people and I'm finally fed up. They got nothing better to do with their lives so they talk about me. 

I like alone, peace and quiet. I wish people would understand the meaning sticking to themselves. I mean isn't that what personal development and self actualization should be all about? Focusing on one self? 

I try to focus on my journaling as much as possible. But whenever I look into the main forum, there is always someone talking or gossiping about me even when I don't exist on that thread. It hurts and I put those people on ignore. 

Its best if I simply don't exist on the forum anymore. There won't be anymore gossip about me. 

I'm simply going to continue my journey in an insulated lonely vacuum. There is not much to expect from a cheap shallow crowd. 

 

[Preety_India]

I was thinking about death. 

And the kind of questions I would ask before dying. 

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm slowly but not surely returning to a positive state of mind. 

 

[Preety_India]

I struggle a lot with the mechanics of socialization. 

How much is too much and how much is too little? 

The question is how open should I be to the point where I feel maybe I misstepped and allowed a bit too much? 

Socialization almost feels like allowing sunrays into your room. If you don't have any you feel gloomy, if you have too much it can get too hot. 

So it feels like, let's say, if I get too close and friendly, it invites more intrusion from people. Yea? And if I get reclusive, it begins to feel lonely or too withdrawn? 

 

You can't really have a fine balance. 

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I have slowly begun to chill after hours of crying today and yesterday over my father's memories. 

I want him to rest in peace forever. He was a kind good hearted human being. 

I am slowly leaving his memories behind but I can never completely forget the pain, loss and all the painful as well as sweet memories of the times shared. 

He used to take me to the beach and play with me. He would watch me play. 

He taught me so much. 

He used to get me teddy bears. 

I had a great dad that partially compensated for a shitty mother. 

 

[Preety_India]

This forum is useless. 

 

Realitätsverlusterzeugende Internetnutzerzweigstelle

 

[Preety_India]

In unbequemer positionsitzendes Katzwesenähnliches die deutsche Nationalhymne singende Geschöpf

 

Deutschewortkreirungsmechaniken..... (I can tease you lol @Marcel)

How about this one? 

Verlängerungsmaßnaenerhebungsamtsbleistiftspitzerfarbenherstellungsprozessaufsichtskommiteetassenhalterungsinhaltsaufsichtsbehördengebäudeeingangstürbemalungsbeauftragter

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm slowly returning to a chilled state. I want to think about happy things