My personal feelings part 1

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Hun. 

I want to wear that some day. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

These are interesting 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So I can do this where I can unlock achievements and earn points for each achievement along with candies.

So both candies and points as rewards. 

 

 

Points and candies will depend on the achievement. 

 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The Waze system of achievement. I like this actually. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Nobody can truly impress me if they aren't interested in cats 

 

 

On a side note - 

I'm so proud of my garden. 

 

@marcel I am your honigkuchen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I want to wrap myself in love. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Whoever is respectful to me, I'm respectful to them, finish. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

This place is a dumpster. 

The very fact that someone can't focus on themselves says it all.. 

 

How to deal with those type of comments. 

Think that it's their problem, false assumptions, self righteous perspectives, being dogmatic, inability to understand another's perspective, showing lack of maturity about what another person is dealing with. 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Don't be demoralized by such things/comments. Chin up and get thick skin. 

Eventually nobody can achieve anything unless you want them to. 

False assumptions and projection nonsense and I don't have time to defend. 

Okay. This is just this guys perspective and he makes a lot of false assumptions. 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Marcel yep. Cute typos 

[Preety_India]

I feel like I'm in a mental asylum or something 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Today I have to call the carpenter to get the door fixed.. 

Plus I have to pay some bills. 

Then my sibling had called me yesterday and told me to get something that is somewhat outside of my comfort zone and it has been stressing me out a bit. Feeling anxiety around it. 

I usually experience some form of social anxiety every time I have to interact with strangers. 

So i have been feeling a bit anxious since the past two hours regarding this work which involves talking to a stranger. 

But I have to get it done because my sibling can call me again. 

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My garden is ready. 

Almost. I have to take a picture of the Oregano plant. 

I have fixed my seating arrangement with a chair and table. I also need a yoga mat. 

This part is in order but the CL part. I have a deadline till end of December. 

Plus I have got things scheduled for January. 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I earned a small accomplishment yesterday and today. So I feel slightly happy. 

 But I'm not totally happy. It's like happiness mixed with some anxiety. 

The anxiety of the coming two weeks. I don't want to waste anymore time. It's next 15 days exact. Things are pending. And sometimes I feel depressed and can't get it done. 

The Covid really impacted my anxiety levels.

I still feel a bit weird when I go out. Some places are open. Some places are closed. A lot of people lost their jobs. Nobody talks to anyone at all. Most people in my neighborhood just avoid each other. 

I think people are depressed in a financial kind of way because I can imagine them struggling to pay bills after they lost their jobs. 

There is a passive depressing effect in the air. Hopes are not very high. Nobody smiles anymore. 

I don't even realize how time flies by. I get something done and then I feel really anxious and tired before I take up something else. 

My mind is still not adjusted to all the recent changes. 

A new relationship obviously causes some anxiety. 

I'm having this relationship after breaking up with my ex like a year ago. I didn't fully heal from that breakup either. 

But at least I can say there has been some improvement. 

I think the other thing that has been causing me massive anxiety is the fact that my father's death anniversary is approaching in a few days. This particular week (every year) is always the most anxious period in my life because of all the traumatic memories. 

So i have been feeling happy but also a bit moody and anxious at the side as well. Every time I think of all the work I tend to get anxious. 

My low memory has also been causing me some moodiness because it's not a good feeling when you forget something. 

And lately lack of sleep, some random fights with my mom, my own lack of physical energy has all been weighing on me causing me to have poor memory. 

It's hard to remember stuff when you feel stressed out. 

Journaling right now helps a lot in distressing and unloading massive pressure from the brain

 

 

When I don't journal, my pressure in the brain builds up again 

 

Journaling has helped me a lot with dealing with my anxiety. 

 

[Preety_India]

Financial anxiety can be a really bad form of anxiety. 

When you are feeling uncertain about your finances and expenses keep piling up, it can leave you feeling stressed, exhausted and drained. 

I thought things were good or at least okay financially until the water service broke down in my house and the repair people generated a huge bill to get it fixed. They took a lot of money and I suddenly felt a bit strained

 

My mood is pretty good when I know my finances are going fine and my mood goes really anxious and tensed when I feel like things are going to be difficult. 

And whenever I feel anxious my nightmares are pretty bad. It's a toxic and vicious loop.

 

 

Anxiety breeds more anxiety. 

It's easy to tell someone to not feel anxious. 

But go ask someone who has debts to pay and real problems to deal with, how do they feel about it. 

Only people who really suffer financial issues know what sort of anxious patterns it can create. 

If your life is good don't judge others. 

You never know who is going to be sent over the edge tomorrow. Have compassion. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Still feeling anxious. 

There is still some anxiety I have been feeling since the last few hours

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So I went out and paid the bills and came back. 

That was a relief. I don't know how I managed going out because I was feeling terribly anxious. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

In a way this is empirically true. 

 

In stage Blue societies like mine, I have hardly ever seen guys complain about not getting girls. My dad didn't have to approach any woman. He simply went to my mom's house who was really young and one of the prettiest girls at the time (my dad was not that good looking) and he simply stated to my grandmother that he wished to marry my mother. My grandmother instantly arranged for their marriage and it happened really quickly without the consent of my mother. She wasn't particularly attracted to my dad as she had taken fancy to some other handsome dude in the neighborhood. But before she could marry the man of her dreams, her marriage got fixed to my dad. 

My dad was shy, passive, lacked social skills and would have never got a woman (since he was extremely shy and never spoke much to anyone and totally sucked at conversations) if he had been living in a country like America or any stage orange society. There would have been brutal competition to get a woman/girlfriend /wife.

I think this is one of the reasons why some men prefer traditional blue patriarchal systems because they feel insecure about landing a mate. 

 

Whereas the monogamous blue system gives them perfect conditions to get any woman of their choice. All they have to do is send an intimation stating that they need a wife. 

I remember my mom used to talk about her cousin who wasn't a good looking guy but once he sent word in his community that he was ready to get married, he was getting plenty of beautiful girls to choose from, almost like a catalog of beautiful women from his community and he kept rejecting all of them (this is mostly because in my mother's time, girls didn't have the freedom to be financially independent so parents used to marry them off to any available eligible bachelor, it didn't matter whether he was tall/short, not good looking or attractive, he would get a huge supply of women waiting to be married to him(mostly without the woman's choice or consent). He finally married a girl who wasn't very good looking because all the good looking ones who were rejected were picked/selected by other men in the meantime while he was rejecting them. He kinda regretted it and told my mom that he shouldn't have been so picky. But it was too late. 

Today men in my culture find it difficult to get a wife/girlfriend because of independence, stage Green values slowly replacing an old stage Blue system, feminism and women being more in control of their finances like never before. So women insist on the kind of man they want and don't settle for anything they don't want. Forced marriages have kinda reduced because of feminism and awareness of female sexual freedom. 

 

As a result, the culture is slowly shifting to stage Orange achievement career based and now men in my culture are struggling with competition in the mating market. 

 

Guys who earn less or don't look good enough rarely get a marriage proposal. 

 

So from observing this social trend and comparing it to my mother's and grandmother's time, I can say that stage orange and green independence and feminist based culture makes it difficult for men to get women. They aren't basically provided with a bride like they were used to. 

 

But this has been a huge bonus for women because they are freed from a system where they had to marry a man without their will/choice /consent. 

 

Now most girls are likely to marry a man who is chosen by them. 

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Preety_India