Recent traumatic experience as a caretaker, how to move on?

[Peelingthelayers]

Hello actualized. I realized after that this might be the wrong place for the topic. I cant change it, so i hope its alright.

 

I am working as a caretaker for people with autism, and have been working "for" a guy (and others) who is too difficult and dangerous to live at our current place. I never had any big/violent episodes with him (other people did), and i had therefor accepted to move with him and continue working with him, and because the working hours of the new job are much better suited for how i want to live my life. So all was looking fine.

Last week everything changed, as he started to not want to be with me, and it ended with a very violent attack, where i have been feeling quite shitty since. Alot of thoughts about what could have happened if he had a a glass or knife instead of bare hands (everything is plastic around him and no knifes, so it "shouldnt" be possible).

I am in contact with my work and they support me, but i dont know if i will be able to act normal around him again (which is critically important of course). I also feel a little weak for letting it get to me, and maybe some shame towards colleagues if i decide not to continue with the project (moving with him). 

Does anyone have some advice how to let go of an experience like that and move on, maybe being able to act "normal" around him again?

Edited November 10, 2021 by Peelingthelayers

[Cathal]

forgive him and stop taking it personally, it has nothing to do with you

[Peelingthelayers]

@catcat69123 You are right. Thank you.

[Preety_India]

This is a very difficult thing to do since your primary instinct is self protection. 

Don't hold any feelings of shame, regret or embarrassment since none of this situation is your fault. These are the challenges of the job.

Let it go from the deeper part of your heart, sit in meditation and focus on this person and accept their actions as a part of their mentality. Focus on how destructive it can be but also realize that this is part and parcel of the job you signed up for. 

Try to focus on other productive things like art, music, singing or reading. 

This will take your mind off the event. 

The only way to heal from a traumatizing incident is to Let lt diffuse on its own with time. 

That's what I did when my mentally ill mother attacked me a few weeks ago. I invested my time in art and slowly tried to forget what she did. 

I have been doing better since. 

Just don't attach yourself to such situations and keep moving on. 

 

[Peelingthelayers]

thanks for the replys peeps. appreciate it. good stuff from all of you.