My pregnant girlfriend pass hunting me

[AlwaysJoggin]

Dealing with huge inner conflict this only arrised after she got pregnant. This was never a problem I didn’t care about this at all but I don’t know what is going on in my psychology something is hunting me and making me emotionally unstable it comes and goes away so I’m living in emotional roller coaster. so the situation is that i met a girl in the summer we kept hanging out every day we fell in love quickly we are just naive like that lol. after just 1 month she got pregnant I told her I’m not ready!! but in her head she really wants a baby so talking to her didn’t work so I just accepted it easily, her personality very not mature she is 21 I’m 24. 
 I didn’t care much at first as my personality is very carefree and go with the flow. i was trying to stay positive so I didn’t go crazy and be persistent so now she is 3 month pregnant we are still together and seeing each other very frequently and text each other like every hour.

but there is one thing that is hunting me daily deeply it’s damaging my psyche and causing me discomfort mentally about her that keeps bothering me and makes me regret this and that she is only 21 and before she met me she had sex with 5 guys in her life which is hunting me and bringing negative emotions to me I know this is reality of human females and taking her environment into account and her insecurities but I can’t get over is i feel angry towards her is my head I can’t accept it before she was pregnant it was ok to me it didn’t bother me at all not even cross my mind.

bshe had told me this from our first date so I always know this about her, that her body count is 5 but I didn’t think much of it at the time I know this is silly maybe but I can’t control my psyche and how it works I really want to get over it but I don’t seem to get over it she really loves me and I love her too but. Regardless I feel like disgusted and very angry when I imagine that other men have had sex with my girlfriend but only when she got pregnant my brain shifted some how into this pattern on thoughts this thinking idk maybe it’s genetics as I’m originally from Middle East but she is half Jamaican half filipino. But I really want to get over it because i have no choice but too accept it because what she did in her pass is already done.  

I have a feeling it will be hard to fix this issue as it’s inbedes in my core personality and I feel hopeless maybe I will feel sad and angry and rage inside about this for longer. 
 

I will take some mushrooms today and ask for help. 
 

 

Edited November 9, 2021 by AlwaysJoggin

[LordFall]

What would you like the solution to be, in an ideal world? Be very honest with yourself, don't lie. What do you really want to happen from here on out?

Do you want her to never have had sex with another man? Do you regret getting her pregnant and wish that didn't happen? Do you wish you had more sexual experience? Do you want to accept her past and move on with it? Do you want to break up with her? Do you want to have an open relationship and fuck other women to get experience while still dating her/raising your child?

I find it nice emotionally to first really not lie to myself and ask myself what I really want before what's possible. Then I figure out how to marry what's possible and what I want. Just make sure not to judge yourself or her too much and then accept what reality is and you'll probably find that this situation will resolve itself. 

[Random witch]

If you're so carefree and go with the flow, why do you care so much about the number?

Men who are really carefree don't really care about woman's past sexsual experiences.

Be that man.

You wrote that your GF is immature, she might be, but you're either.

 

 

[tsuki]

14 hours ago, AlwaysJoggin said:

but there is one thing that is hunting me daily deeply it’s damaging my psyche and causing me discomfort mentally about her that keeps bothering me and makes me regret this and that she is only 21 and before she met me she had sex with 5 guys in her life which is hunting me and bringing negative emotions to me I know this is reality of human females and taking her environment into account and her insecurities but I can’t get over is i feel angry towards her is my head I can’t accept it before she was pregnant it was ok to me it didn’t bother me at all not even cross my mind.

Realize that these 5 men are not here with you, and are not having sex with her right now. These 5 men are not 'making you' angry. You are making yourself angry by imagining 5 men having sex with your pregnant girlfriend. 

There is no way out of this situation by making the world behave in certain way, because it is not the world that makes you angry. Every time you are angry, you are bringing these 5 men into the situation. You are doing this. Is this clear?

The answer is simple. Stop doing this. Stop the conflict. It does not happen because something else happened. It's just you making yourself angry, wanting a fight with your girlfriend. I know that all you want is to feel better, but there is no way that the method of imagining 5 men will ever make you feel better. It will destroy the trust that she needs to feel safe and will ruin your relationship. It is very, very ineffective in making you feel happy.

I would carefully inspect the beliefs around female pregnancy, sex, and your future. There is a false belief lurking there that you are using to blame your girlfriend.