Commitment phobia in men - HELP

[Vzdoh]

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

That’s conjecture from conditioning. 

No. It's simple truth for traumatised people who are afraid of being afraid. 

For them working on trauma first is the key. Spirituality comes in later. 

It's hard to see the light when your window is stained. 

[Vzdoh]

2 hours ago, Spiral said:

My resistance to committed relationships has nothing to do with girls I’ve dated or that want to have a lot of girls sexually. If I have my needs meet I’m happy. 
 

My issue comes from what I see in my family, friends and colleagues relationships. Their relationship to me seem terrible and toxic. With the expectation of my grandparents I don’t know anyone who’s relationship I’d describe as even decent.

 

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mean it’s the girl/wife that’s terrible. Some times it is, sometimes it’s the guy in the relationship. Sometimes there both great but just not a good match. Yet they all stay together anyway. With kids, marriage, a shared economy and the laziness that come from having a partner I get it. I don’t want that to be me. That is what I fear and associate with commitment, because it means that I’m serious. 
 

In addition I don’t care for commitment, I’m not the jealous type so I don’t feel like it has intrinsic value.

So u r afraid of negatives before they happened to you and you don't even try to make it work? 

Great approach ???

[Nahm]

28 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

No. It's simple truth for traumatised people who are afraid of being afraid. 

For them working on trauma first is the key. Spirituality comes in later. 

It's hard to see the light when your window is stained. 

I agree, and I’m saying that is conjecture from conditioning. 

[Zeroguy]

5 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

No. It's simple truth for traumatised people who are afraid of being afraid. 

Fear and pain is good.Pushes you to identify ,find solution and heal.

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For them working on trauma first is the key. Spirituality comes in later. 

What is the difference?Spirituality .Why all this spiritual work ?What it is all about?!

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It's hard to see the light when your window is stained. 

Please...from you?!Skip me.

 

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

I agree, and I’m saying that is conjecture from conditioning. 

I agree.

Edited November 11, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Spiral]

@Vzdoh Fear isn’t reasonable!

Besides if you don’t fear the lion before it attacks you. It’s too late to be afraid.

So to me it seems like a high risk low reward sort of thing. Which isn’t a great investment. That being said I’ll still do it. Was in a relationship a few of months ago. 
 

It’s easier with a girl you know very well and trust to act sympathetically and honestly towards you and others.

Edited November 11, 2021 by Spiral

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

I agree.

I remember when spirituality was the inspection of direct experience, of what is true & actual, and resonates profoundly. 

Seems to have become an adherence to conjecture, no?  

[Zeroguy]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

I remember when spirituality was the inspection of direct experience, of what is true & actual, and resonates profoundly. 

Seems to have become an adherence to conjecture, no?  

Oh c'mon man allow me to be judgemental a but I feel good I really do. 

It is all love what fears and phobias?

'till One realizes it is all Goodness.