Reality is also Hell

[SQAAD]

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 In direct experience, fear is emotion, and is guidance, and ‘tells me’ that the thought I’m focusing on (losing my mind) is discordant, or, not indicative of what is true and actual.

I don't understand this part.. Why do you translate fear this way? 

52 minutes ago, Nahm said:

 In direct experience, any notion of ‘losing’, or ‘losing something’, is a thought, and is not actually some thing, which could be lost.

 

I don't agree with that. I can fear losing my house. Yes Its a thought. But this thought could be actualized in the near future. I could also fear losing my mind, and this could also happen and i might end up retarded or in an insane asylym forever. By my mind i mean ''the intelligent and smooth way my thoughts patterns, processing speed, understanding and etc work together in harmony''. 

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In direct experience, depression is a thought, and is not sensation or perception

In this moment depression is a thought. But when i experienced it, it was not just a thought. It was a terrible terrible terrible state to be in.

@Nahm

Edited November 11, 2021 by SQAAD

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I don't understand this part.. Why do you translate fear this way? 

I find this to be the case in direct experience. It’s not a concept or translation, it’s a linguistic communication, a pointing. 

With respect, I realize this ‘flies in the face’ of many teachers, but, there is literally no such thing as fear. One makes it up and believes it, and interprets experience accordingly, or one doesn’t. 

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I don't agree with that. I can fear losing my house. Yes Its a thought. But this thought could be actualized in the near future. I could also fear losing my mind, and this could also happen and i might end up retarded or in an insane asylym forever. By my mind i mean ''the intelligent and smooth way my thoughts patterns, processing speed, understanding and etc work together in harmony''. 

In this moment depression is a thought. But when i experienced it, it was not just a thought. It was a terrible terrible terrible state to be in.

@Nahm

The fear would be guidance in regard to the thought. Those things aren’t happening in direct experience. The thought is. Also, a belief is. The belief is that the things you mentioned happened in a past. That also is not indicative of direct experience. In accordance with direct experience there is no evidence whatsoever that there is a past or anything that ever happened. That belief is in actuality, a thought arising, now. Like anything & everything else. 

[Iesu]

On 11/9/2021 at 4:08 AM, SQAAD said:

We've heard about how Reality is Perfection and Paradise but i think that at the same it is also Hell. Many peeople don't appreciate how hellish existence can become because they've just lived a basic comfortable existence somewhere in the Western world with somewhat decent parents. There are definitely levels to this. Levels that we don't even comprehend. For me it was a shock the previous year the amount of suffering that i've experienced from a silly mistake. That little mistake costed me 1 year of pure misery. One year of pure torture. There was a period where nothing i would do, would make the depression go away. I just had to let the time pass. It was the worst thing i've experienced in my entire life. I never expected reality could turn so ugly so fast.

You can do all the ''right'' things and still get cancer, suffer through a terrible disease for years for no good reason, brain damage, dementia, lose all your money, get tortured , get murdered, etc etc. There are many things you can't control and can't completely avoid.  My biggest fear besides getting tortured is losing my mind, my intelligence and my great memory. Every time i feel a painful sensation in my brain i get terrible anxiety. This can make my life unpleasant some of the time. Most of the time i am in a decent mood. But i am generally afraid of eventually losing everything i've worked so hard to gain. Many times i think that all the things i've learned , i can completely forget my just getting dementia. This can make it hard to motivate yourself.

Yesterday i sat with a 90-year old man who has lost his memory abilities recently. He can't remember much. After his son died, he fell into a deep depression and his mind deteriorated significantly very rapidly. He was a physicist. 

The challenge of life i believe is that there are all these terrible things that can happen to you and you can't deny them. You can never say ''that will never happen to me''. All the sh*t you don't wanna experience, there is a chance you will experience it. It seems to me that all this suffering and pain is somewhat senseless at times. I don't get it why it can get so bad. I understand the necessity of pain and suffering but its just too much. Too much...

 

 

On 11/10/2021 at 5:51 AM, Nahm said:

understand” it’s followed by a belief rooted in ignore-ance of feeling, something they don’t understand. Google and read, understand the difference between pain & suffering. Let the impulse to assert what you already know go, along with any beliefs that you understand, and continue learning. Get the message. Then spread the message. ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’. MG

dog please get some PROFESIONAL help, a healthy person is not making and posting stuff like this. 

[Nahm]

@SQAAD

Expressing, questioning, inspecting, understanding, and liberating, like you are, is the healthiest course of action anyone could take imo. 

[SQAAD]

@Iesu

8 hours ago, SQAAD said:

2 hours ago, Iesu said:

dog please get some PROFESIONAL help, a healthy person is not making and posting stuff like this. 

 

Sure buddy, whatever you say.

I am not your dog & Nice projection there. What you said here, i could say exactly the same thing for you. Probably you must be 12 year old posting something like this. Go watch some gore content and lets see how healthy you will be.

Edited November 12, 2021 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

The fear would be guidance in regard to the thought. Those things aren’t happening in direct experience. The thought is. Also, a belief is. The belief is that the things you mentioned happened in a past. That also is not indicative of direct experience. In accordance with direct experience there is no evidence whatsoever that there is a past or anything that ever happened. That belief is in actuality, a thought arising, now. Like anything & everything else. 

I think the fear is in regard mostly with the future for me. There is always a possibility of going through some experiences that you don't wanna go through. There are some possibilities like getting severe brain damage, getting dementia or cancer etc that seems too terrible. You can never say ''oh that won't happen to me''. And its hard to say even ''oh its just a thought''. Yes it is that but that thought symbolises smthing which could happen to you. The challenge of fear and life is that the thing you fear may happen to you.

For me what arises usually is a thought of some future scenario accompanied with some terrible terrible feeling in my throat. When i get this terrible feeling its hard for me to continue doing my normal activities. I can do them but its a struggle at times, especially when the fear is 10/10.

Luckily i don't fuel the fear by ruminating on it. But when i do stupid sh*t the fear can't be avoided. When i am drinking lots of coffee and sleep few hours, i fear about my health for example. And for good reason, because sometimes i get some terrible sensations in my head tha feel like some sort of brain damage. Lol. All my main fears are concerned around the brain for some reason. I fear more losing my mind and its capabilities rather than getting some other terrible disease.

Fear is a good mechanism. But it creates tons of suffering. Thats why it works getting your attention.

Anyones life can become miserable in an instant. Lastly my direct experience of past, is all the past memories. I believe past exists. It doesn't exist right now but it has existed before.

Edited November 12, 2021 by SQAAD

[Nahm]

@SQAAD

Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m being critical or anything. Only saying this in the vein of bringing an end to suffering (fear)… there really isn’t a future. No one’s ever experienced a future. Thoughts arise about a future, or a past, but the key to ending suffering is direct experience, and realizing only the thoughts are experienced, and only now, and not an actual past or future. The relevance of recognizing this is that it leads to recognizing your true self, and suffering is then no longer possible. Takes time of course, I know. 

On a most practical note, there’s an old saying ‘garbage in, garbage out’. Be sensitive with what you put in front of you. It does shape views & interpretations. And there’s a lot of relief and peace in regard to the future, of basically just saying ‘I don’t know’, so fuck it, I’m gonna live today like it’s the last. 

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

16 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@SQAAD

Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m being critical or anything. Only saying this in the vein of bringing an end to suffering (fear)… 

No you don't sound critical. You sound helpful and have good intentions behind what you post. Thank you for the advice :-)

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

32 minutes ago, Nahm said:

 And there’s a lot of relief and peace in regard to the future, of basically just saying ‘I don’t know’, so fuck it, I’m gonna live today like it’s the last. 

The ''i don't know'' part is very difficult for me because i am  an obssesive type of person who gets laser focused and stucks on the details. Dealing with uncertainty can be difficult at times bc you wanna make sure nothing bad will happen.. The ego-mind wants to control every possible variable as much as it can.

It makes some sense why we don't deal well with uncertainty. Because 20.000 years ago if you had uncertainty about something you heard on the forrest you would probably check and avoid getting eaten alive by some tiger. Lol. This is why i think suffering is a necessary evil. A double-edged sword.

My number one goal is mental fitness. So this is why navigating with all these mental obstacles is very important for me. I would like to know how you personally deal with severe fear. You just ignore it? Just recognize it for what it is? Whats your process ?

Edited November 12, 2021 by SQAAD

[roopepa]

@SQAAD Do you see that you could completely let go your thoughts about all these horrible things you believe are happening and could happen to people?

Do you see that "murder", "mexican cartels", "war" and "torture" are thoughts, images appearing right here and now, and that you could completely let go any reality you give to these thoughts?

Why would you be thinking about stuff that makes you feel bad?

You probably have some kind of philosophy. "I need to think about this because otherwise I would be in denial, that's selfish and egoic"

"I need to think about it because it can happen to me, I need to be ready."

Do you really want to think about this stuff, or do you think there is something to gain in doing so? That there is a need in your existence, and if you don't fulfill this need, you might somehow fail?

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, SQAAD said:

@Nahm

The ''i don't know'' part is very difficult for me because i am  an obssesive type of person who gets laser focused and stucks on the details. Dealing with uncertainty can be difficult at times bc you wanna make sure nothing bad will happen.. The ego-mind wants to control every possible variable as much as it can.

It makes some sense why we don't deal well with uncertainty. Because 20.000 years ago if you had uncertainty about something you heard on the forrest you would probably check and avoid getting eaten alive by some tiger. Lol. This is why i think suffering is a necessary evil. A double-edged sword.

My number one goal is mental fitness. So this is why navigating with all these mental obstacles is very important for me. I would like to know how you personally deal with severe fear. You just ignore it? Just recognize it for what it is? Whats your process ?

I don’t experience fear at all. It’s from inspecting direct experience and thoughts and a clear understanding of emotions and how to create them. In this experience ‘for me’ is thought(s). With enough inspection it’s found fear isn’t objective, or ‘out there’, it’s created or not by each one. 

[Terell Kirby]

Hell and Heaven are birthed out of Love. They share the same Creator, so are siblings in a way ☺️

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

I don’t experience fear at all. It’s from inspecting direct experience and thoughts and a clear understanding of emotions and how to create them. In this experience ‘for me’ is thought(s). With enough inspection it’s found fear isn’t objective, or ‘out there’, it’s created or not by each one. 

This is impressive. The fear is created by us but it represents something that could or not happen. Thats why it is hard not to take fear seriously...  If someone was pointing at me with a gun it would be hard not to fear at that moment. He might or not pull that trigger. I am creating a fear at that moment but it is hard not to. The same analogy applies to everyday life situations.

Edited November 12, 2021 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@roopepa

10 hours ago, roopepa said:

@SQAAD Do you see that you could completely let go your thoughts about all these horrible things you believe are happening and could happen to people?

Do you see that "murder", "mexican cartels", "war" and "torture" are thoughts, images appearing right here and now, and that you could completely let go any reality you give to these thoughts?

Why would you be thinking about stuff that makes you feel bad?

You probably have some kind of philosophy. "I need to think about this because otherwise I would be in denial, that's selfish and egoic"

"I need to think about it because it can happen to me, I need to be ready."

Do you really want to think about this stuff, or do you think there is something to gain in doing so? That there is a need in your existence, and if you don't fulfill this need, you might somehow fail?

You made some good questions and points. Actually there is an underlying belief behind all of this. I have this belief that ''if i don't check X and control it as much as possible then something bad will happen''. 

[Breakingthewall]

13 hours ago, SQAAD said:

There is always a possibility of going through some experiences that you don't wanna go through. There are some possibilities like getting severe brain damage, getting dementia or cancer etc that seems too terrible. You can never say ''oh that won't happen to me''. And its hard to say even ''oh its just a thought''. Yes it is that but that thought symbolises smthing which could happen to you. The challenge of fear and life is that the thing you fear may happen to you.

that means you are smart and you have realized the death trap that is the ego. people will tell you: don't think about those things, live each day and be happy! But you, as an ego, are a being who seeks the greatest advantage, the greatest security, and you have realized that this does not exist, that it may seem that you have your life very resolute and organized, with your family and all that, But the reality is that you are in the trenches of the First World War: any day something much worse can happen to you than what will happen to those in the photos, and above all, the end in the best of cases is decadence , old age and death. You, as an ego, are completely screwed, there is no good deal possible. without escape. the only solution: transcend your ego

[Nahm]

59 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Nahm

This is impressive. The fear is created by us but it represents something that could or not happen. Thats why it is hard not to take fear seriously... 

Yes. That is why it’s so easy not to take thoughts seriously. 

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If someone was pointing at me with a gun it would be hard not to fear at that moment. He might or not pull that trigger. I am creating a fear at that moment but it is hard not to. The same analogy applies to everyday life situations.

That’s just a thought. It is better to get shot than live life in fear.

It can’t be hard not to, because you aren’t experiencing that. There is no “in that moment”. There is no feeling “in that moment”.

Feeling is always & ever only - right here right now. 

 The ‘garbage in garbage out’ is applicable, but only realized & experienced with time away from the garbage. Focusing from such a place (discordant abstract thoughts) so to speak doesn’t create change. And yes, as you said, the guidance of creator creating creation is indeed felt accordingly. 

[Someone here]

Reality is neutral. 

Heaven and hell are not places.. But states of consciousness. 

[SQAAD]

@Breakingthewall

On 12/11/2021 at 6:59 PM, Breakingthewall said:

that means you are smart and you have realized the death trap that is the ego. people will tell you: don't think about those things, live each day and be happy! But you, as an ego, are a being who seeks the greatest advantage, the greatest security, and you have realized that this does not exist, that it may seem that you have your life very resolute and organized, with your family and all that, But the reality is that you are in the trenches of the First World War: any day something much worse can happen to you than what will happen to those in the photos, and above all, the end in the best of cases is decadence , old age and death. You, as an ego, are completely screwed, there is no good deal possible. without escape. the only solution: transcend your ego

You said it beautifully and made very good points. What you describe here is the whole challenge of being alive. Life is full of enormous challenges. We need to be as strong as possible. Its very emotionally difficult to accept all the bad sh*t that can happen to you. Acceptance is the final stage we reach after lots of emotional and maybe even physical torture. But until then , the ego resists.....We are in a diffucult situation. God means some serious business.

It seems to me that i cannot accept certain things yet.. I am afraid for example that if something truly terrible happened ( like getting dementia) and my life became completely unmanageable i would have to kill myself to end the suffering. Thats is my main fear: My life becoming too shitt* to deal with....And by no means i am a suicidal person. I am against it. But i think if anyones life became too sh*tty he would probably consider ending the misery.

Edited November 13, 2021 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Nahm

On 12/11/2021 at 7:33 PM, Nahm said:

Yes. That is why it’s so easy not to take thoughts seriously. 

That’s just a thought. It is better to get shot than live life in fear.

It's not just a thought many times. For example sometimes if i haven't slept well for days i might feel some weird sensations in my head. These sensations feel like my brain is decaying. Then i immediately worry what does this mean. What are the probable consequences. How will it affect my life. What if its something serious etc etc.

I don't actively think all these things but still the weird sensations in my head, trigger this big fear i have: of losing my mental capacities. These thoughts i have represent something real. They represent the sensations in the head. Thoughts are language. Sometimes the language represents something true.

If i was fearing that some aliens were to abduct me that fear would have zero basis. But in my case, it has some good reasonable foundations. 

Its super hard not to take the fear of brain damage seriously when.. your head feels it has been damaged.... 

Edited November 13, 2021 by SQAAD

[Nahm]

11 hours ago, SQAAD said:

 

It's not just a thought many times.

If there’s an it, most definitely, it is always a thought.  This is the good news. 

In direct experience, ‘my brain decaying’ is a thought, and is not the sensation. The sensation, is the discord, of the thought.  It is not possible to spot the misinterpretation, and suffer or experience fear. Keep looking as you are imo. 

11 hours ago, SQAAD said:

If i was fearing that some aliens were to abduct me that fear would have zero basis. But in my case, it has some good reasonable foundations. 

If you were fearing alien abduction you’d be saying “But in my case…” about alien abduction. Everyone’s beliefs seem reasonable to them. It’s how they feel that matters.